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Ruminating and repetitive in a loop. How do I get her out of the loop and to settle?

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Does the non stop talking, the repetitive loop and etc happen during the day as well? If so you are likely looking at a manifestation of her dementia. She may require a medication, and this would be a neuro-psyc consult recommended through her regular MD. While you are getting that referral you should stop first for a U/A to be sure there is no urinary bladder infection. Sorry you are going through this, as no one is likely getting a good night sleep at this point.
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Hi There. First off I’d like to say that I’m terribly sorry you are going through this. My mom now sleeps through the night and I’m still incredibly exhausted.

We have two tools that we used to help mom stop (almost completely) the agitated ruminating. Unfortunately both are not necessary available to everyone. But I will share them as the difference is night and day.

First, at the recommendation of her physician (we’re in California), we started her on a micro dose THC/CBD combo before bed. She now sleeps 8-10 hours a night and wakes up smiling and, according to her, pain free. Interestingly enough she is more lucid and I can only guess that not being so anxious promotes a bit of clarity. Of course this is only available in those states that have legalized medical or recreational cannabis.

The second tool is a bit expensive but pays dividends. I had access to a Biomat so I started putting mom in it after breakfast. The first time she fell asleep for two hours and woke with a huge smile, stood up and told me she loved me while hugging me. She doesn’t do that normally. Not even close. I bought a Biomat mini and now she likes to sit on it all the time. It’s not cheap but there’s some distributors that sell quality used ones, you can google it. The period between when I returned the first Biomat and the one I bought arrived was INSANE. Non-stop pacing and shadowing. It clearly works for my mom. It’s an infrared heating pad that mimics the frequency of human touch.

In any case I realize that these two options are not available to everyone but thought I’d share.
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lealonnie1 Dec 2020
Super interesting to read about the Biomat;

https://biomathealthcoach.com/index.html

I looked it up on Craigslist Denver and this gal came up; she's selling the Biomat Mini for $400 and also used ones for less. She also offers loaners for 2 weeks for $40-60 shipping & handling.
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I don't have the answers you are looking for, but I would certainly check with her Dr to see if there are any medications that will help her sleep better. I know when my husband who had vascular dementia, was getting up every hour on the hour to pee, (before he got his supra pubic catheter), and I had to get up with him, we both were beyond exhausted, and I got to the point where I could barely function anymore. So I understand and empathize with your situation. A good night's sleep is so important for not only your mom, but for you as well, as it will give you more patience to deal with your moms issues. Best wishes in getting the answers you need.
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I don't sleep during the day because this behaviour is 24/7. Ruminates and obsesses from one thing to the next...ALL THE TIME!
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Affects both my life and life of my family significantly. She comes into our bedroom, shadows me all over. I have to be with her or she will call out for me. I'm exhausted and loosing my patients with her. I fear what I'll do as I have already raised my voice. How long will this last and will she ever settle?
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AnnReid Dec 2020
Have you attempted to impress on her physician(s) how seriously this affects you and your family, not to mention your poor mother’s distress?

Has she had a behavioral evaluation done by a geriatric specialist in psychiatry/psychology/social work/neurology? Even if she’s not lucid, a geriatric specialist may be able to see something that can prove helpful in terms of managing her behavior or soothing her.

The loss of sleep was one of the most troublesome and debilitating aspects of my mother’s care. I hope you will FIND something soon to help her, and yourselves.
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And how does this affect your life? Does she sleep during the day? Do YOU sleep during the day?
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