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Connie, "showtiming" in the context of dementia isn't quite so disapproving a term. It describes the person's response to social stimulus, giving them the ability to revive their normal persona for long enough to sustain that interaction; and it isn't a criticism, it's just a phenomenon you need to be aware of when you're assessing a person's mental state.
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I want to add what I learned from Teepa Snow that worked for my mother. She suggests holding the patient's hands, making loving eye contact, and showing deep concern. Tell her to take a deep breath and you do it with her so she can see you. It actually helps both of you. She is scared and confused. Show her love and compassion and understanding. Agree with her-- do not use logic. Say, "I know, it's awful, it's so hard, I really understand what you're going through. I know you are trying very hard. You are doing very well. Let's try to figure this out together." But, of course there is nothing to figure out, you are just trying to soothe her. Be careful not to make promises, E.G. "I'll take you home." She'll hold you to it! Just look into her eyes and show deep concern. Ask her if she wants a hug. "How about we have a nice cup of coffee/tea." My mother responded to these tactics most of the time. This stage lasted 6 months for my mother. The medications helped a lot. I was able to wean her off them as time went on.
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KaleyBug,

If the family asks for a 'Social Admit' in the ER, that will be documented. They cannot send the elder home, if the home will not accept them back.
They don't just put them in a cab if they behave because that makes the hospital liable.
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2022
BC, I have seen it done.

My mom was playing dementia with me and I yelled unsafe discharge and they sent her home anyway, because she was gaslighting me and everything was actually fine.

However, if she was showtiming at the hospital, they would have sent her home because she was medically stable regarding the issues she was admitted for.

I asked for a geri-psych consultation and was informed that they don't do that.

Unfortunately, covid and the resulting lack of workers, many things are very different now. Doesn't hurt to try but, I recommend that we all are prepared for the new normal.
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It sounds like she is already on Medicaid since she goes to adult daycare--it sounds like she should be in an adult memory care facility. If this is a new behavior she could have a urinary tract infection.

If this is not the case, sun-downing is a REAL problem that they go crazy at night. I kept my mom from sundowning by keeping her up all day (only allowing small naps) and she would sleep all night. I also walked my mom in the park which would calm her during the day. So mom was never on any kind of psychotropic. This worked for her, but it may not for your mother-in-law.

If you mom sleeps during the day that is your problem. She will have a LOT of energy at night and they go really crazy.
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