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After I dropped mom off today at the Memory Care Facility (MCF) after our outing. I was informed that she was seen spanking the cat and then later throwing her out of her room. I'm shocked!!! Mom loves her Sophia and was so happy when she was able to take her with her when she moved in a few months ago and everything has been fine until well... until now. About 10 days ago mom got a roommate and I'm wondering if that may have anything to do with it (I don't know how but, its the only thing that has changed) and I have seen the cat laying on her roommates bed...or if Dementia patients have a tendency to take out their frustrations on their animals. Please let me know if anybody else has experienced something similar or have any suggestions.

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Sophia update... Moms cat Sophia has been enjoying exploring her new home over the last few days and mom was, to my surprise and relief; almost happy to see her go. She was relieved and said that Sophia has become too much for her and although it is sad, it was time for her to be re-homed with our family friend (that we had prearranged months ago). Mom and cat are both doing well!
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
That’s fantastic! So glad to hear that. Thanks for the update! So nice to hear a happy ending.

You were responsible and did the right thing for all concerned.
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I think its time to remove the cat. If she ever scratches or bites ur Mom, it could cause "cat fever" or other infection problems. Wish I could post the picture of a woman's hand that swelled up after a cat bite. Its also not the staffs responsibility to care for or look after the cat.

My daughter had a stuffed cat that looked like the real thing. We actually had a cat the same color at the time. I would look for a stuffed one and change it out for the real one. You are not being fair to the cat allowing it to be abused. And it will retaliate. Another option would be to bring the cat to visit.
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Floridagirl, if the cat is only 4 years old, it is better to re-home now than later as cats today can live to be 20 years old and older. A cat that young age needs to let use her energy by running, and being in one room all day isn't fair to the cat.

We recently adopted an 8 year old cat, who I guessed lived in small quarters. He is experiencing seeing through the window birds, squirrels and foxes. And he is running amok through the house with pent up energy. Only thing, him being so young, in another 10 years I will be in my mid-80's. Hope I can still bend over to scoop out the litter box :P
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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
I guess you could hire someone to help out if you had to. My kitty lived to be 16. I loved that cat so much. Too bad I am allergic to cats. She was my last cat. When I tested positive for cat allergy I was so bummed.
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Just from experience, I'd say you're right: (about dimentia patients taking their frustrations out on their pets). Reason I say that is: my nephew's shrink told me that autism & dimentia have correlations. (nephew has autism & was picking on the dog for a while). Keep an eye on things so the cat is ok. I had to do lots of behavior modification therapy with nephew, to straighten it out. Good luck Floridagirl.
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Ah, who knows? Dementia is so darn tricky, changing face from one hour to the next sometimes. This may have something to do with the roommate, most likely, or else your mom may have witnessed the cat doing something 'naughty'. Your mother is not an 'animal abuser' I'm sure, and this was probably an isolated incident. I'm sorry it's come down to having to re-home the cat..........I hope your mom isn't too upset at her absence.

All the best.
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Floridagirl6 Oct 2019
leolonnie1 just an update on mom's cat being removed yesterday. It went well mom was relieved to see her go (to my surprise and relief)she said the cat had become too much for her and she said goodbye to Sophia (a friend of the family has her). We cried for a moment, me because of my moms loss of the ability to care for her cat and her because well.... who knows? Maybe because I cried or maybe for another reason entirely. I'm glad she realized on some level that it was time for the cat to go, I really wasn't sure what to expect. Who knows what today brings, she may feel different or not remember her Sophia at all. Thanks again for your comments.
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" spanking the kitty " .
i expected something completely different when i clicked on this thread .
maybe my wiring aint like everybody elses .
???
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AlvaDeer Oct 2019
You give me the giggles. Seriously.
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Did Sophia take to the MCF? I'm wondering if under stress Sophia might have been soiling the room, and your mother is trying to correct her. Cats don't generally like being moved to new territories, and Sophia certainly wouldn't like there being a strange new human to cope with as well (though I'm sure she did like having a new bed all to herself!). How old is she? (Sophia I mean, not your mother).

Have you talked to your mother about what's happened?
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Floridagirl6 Oct 2019
Thanks Countrymouse! Sophia took great to MCF, she is approx. 4yrs old, the problems just started after getting a roommate as I visit mom daily and have seen a set of scratches on her since the roommate change. I know my mom would never want to hurt her Sophia and I already have a good home waiting for her. It just breaks my heart that my mom won't have her anymore (although I know it s the only option at this point)and that my mom would be devastated if she knew she was mistreating the Cat. No I haven't talked to mom about it yet but, that conversation will come soon. I seriously doubt she'll remember doing anything and therefore deny it but, I do want to explain that Sophia will be at her new home where they can care for her appropriately. We are going to tell her she's going for shots when we remove her originally and then follow up with her being at a new home when she asks. Thanks
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Please, please re-home the cat. NOW. This is abusive. The cat doesn't know why she's being hurt. And yes, some dementia patients do hurt animals, albeit not out of malice, but the cat doesn't know the motive- all they know is the one who loved them is now hurting them.

Your mother's brain is broken, and she is not be seeing her cat in the loving way she did when she was 'normal'.

I've read many stories of dementia patients turning abusive on pets they previously adored. Maybe get her a stuffed toy cat as some sort of placation? Can tell her the cat had to go to the vet for some checkups-- the therapeutic fib.

PLEASE get this cat to safety. The animal doesn't deserve this.
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Floridagirl6 Oct 2019
Trust me the cat is being moved tomorrow, I already have a good home lined up, they just couldn't re-arrange their schedules to do it tonight.
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I’m so sorry she is spanking her kitty. It is probably for the best that her kitty finds a new home. You are wonderful to be concerned and take action.

It will bring you peace of mind knowing that the kitty has a good home. Your mother would want her to be taken care of.
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Floridagirl6 Oct 2019
Thanks NeedHelpWithMom! I know my mom would want her Sophia treated with love and compassion, that's why it breaks my heart that she's no longer capable of doing that on a consistent basis herself. Another piece of mom vanishing before my eyes. Thanks again!
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Thanks for your reply AlvaDeer and yes, I absolutely agree! They have not asked me to remove the cat as of yet however, I have been making arrangements for the cat to go to a new home since I got home and I told them when we spoke earlier that I would be doing so. Fortunately, I anticipated the time would come that Sophia would no longer be able to stay with my mom so she already has a good home to go to lined up. I'm just trying to coordinate the logistics of the move either for this evening or for tomorrow; which ever works with everyone's schedule best. Wish me luck!
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Whatever the circumstance, clearly is is no longer safe to have the cat with your mother, for the animal's sake. If this is a sudden change overall I think time to get a check on the urine for UTI. And sometimes, yes, due to dementia there can be odd things happening as regards jealousy. I don't think that is something you can know for certain. Has the facility suggested that the animal be removed?
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