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He and my mom (has Parkinson’s) live in a memory care facility.

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Meddings7, if the memory care staff hasn't already tried having male instead of female staff (or vice versa) change your dad, they could try doing that. Or maybe just a different staff with a different personality or approach. At my dad's facility, staff gender didn't seem to make any difference to him, but some staff had an easier time with him than did others.

While he lived at my home, my dad often balked because he didn't want to "waste" underwear or "needlessly" wash clothes, but he always gave in to my calm but unwavering insistence. When my sister visited to help out, she seemed to have more difficulty with him, but we're not sure if it was a gender issue, or just who he thought we were -- he often thought I was his dad and that she was his wife.

Because it's sometimes hard to figure what's going on in an Alzheimer's diseased brain, one often has to try different approaches until something works, then stick with it until it no longer works, and then try new approaches once again. Good luck and best wishes.
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I would think the staff would be well familiar with this dynamic. Maybe dad needs a mild sedative to calm him before he needs to be changed.

My dad was such a proud man, having an accident was so humiliating---luckily he never got really or violent, but I know it could have happened.
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The staff at the Memory Care should have strategies in place to deal with changing dad's clothing when he gets combative. If they can't manage him, then the doctor needs to be consulted for a medication change; calming meds can oftentimes help his agitation and allow the caregivers to change his clothing. Keeping Alzheimer's residents calm and relaxed is the #1 goal, really, because when they're agitated, things can get SO difficult for everyone involved. And having him so agitated isn't fair for HIM, most importantly.

Wishing you good luck getting dad the help he needs.
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