Hello All. My 79-year-old mother is in her 3rd nursing rehab stay since July this year. She is getting increasingly weaker as she started using a wheelchair since her bilateral knee replacement 5 years ago-doctors warned her, "Use it or lose it." "Walk." She lives alone. I set her up with PT and OT and a personal assistant after her first and second stay. She 'fired' PT and OT and only allowed the assistant in for 1-2 hours a week. She is non-compliant with her heart meds and diuretics. She lies in her bed all day except when PT comes at the center. She says the chair is uncomfortable. She won't go to any activities, doesn't want to go for a drive. Just watch TV in bed and eat. The first stay she left walking 20 feet with a walker, the 2nd stay 10 feet. She refuses to use the safe bathroom at home where her wheelchair/walker will fit and uses the unsafe bathroom where she must hold on to counter and towel bar (as wheelchair/walker won't fit and falls (refuses a cane). We are not close, she did not raise me, and my grandmother did. I want to help, but it's like she won't help herself. Today, as I said, she is back for a 3rd stay in rehab. I went to take her clothes and saw she refused assistance from the MA to get out of bed and use walker to get to toilet, instead she defecated in her Depends and told me the MA said it was okay, that it was her job to clean her. I told her if she can't walk, how she expects to live alone with no help 24/7. She was only home 2 days before she fell and then couldn't get herself up out of a chair and called 911. All doctors have said the same thing, her only issue is "deconditioning" from lack of exercise/walking/etc. But she won't listen. It is like she is content to lie in bed and have people wait on her at rehab or scoot around in her wheelchair at home. I'm at a loss. I am toying with idea of moving in with her, but I have to work 5 days a week, I have a tricky back and shoulder and new heart issue (palpitations, chest pain) from leaky valves. I'm scared I may be signing up for more than I can handle, especially if she is more and more non-compliant. I was the one taking her to get her knees done. I have been getting her groceries for about a year, taking her to doctor visits, helping with home repairs/cleaning/etc. I believe she has a fear of falling. I get it, but what to do?
my Father is 92 and he keeps falling. Got this guy and helped my father a lot. The guy is firm.