This family claims they bought a townhome next door because the father is dying and it will be a place for their mother to live after he’s gone. Sort of a downsizing; however, over a brief amount of time it has become apparent that she has something going on mentally. I’ve heard them arguing through the walls and on the back patio that now that she can’t take care of him. They think she’s had three strokes since moving in. Didn’t see that coming I’m sure, but now they really need help. They do not want to put them in a facility because they’ll be separated. There is at least one family member less than five minutes away so he claims. They come and go with each catastrophe that happens but don’t stay or move in. Now the neighbor with mental issues is claiming that I’m harassing her when in fact it’s the other way around. I hear her yelling at the family members all the time through the walls. I get yelled at when she’s on her back patio and I’m trying to enjoy my patio, I get yelled at in the front yard because when I’m taking photos of some yardwork I’ve done to send to my mom who wanted to see them she claims I was photographing her property. She went to the police and convinced them I was and I got a visit from a sheriffs detective saying not to go over there which I dont except for a few prior times like taking the mail that ended up in my mailbox for them and when I heard her husband through the wall crying out for her at least a half a dozen times. I went over to let her know he was yelling for her. She slammed the door in my face. I won’t be going over there at all because now this cluster is affecting my life dramatically. The visit from the officer was a wake up call that they don’t appreciate nor care about my peace of mind. Please don’t suggest talking to the son and daughter. They know exactly what’s going on. They’ve never been nice to me at all. The son butchered my shrubs along the driveway the day before I had someone coming to cut them back and give them more room in their driveway (the mother knew, but now says she didn’t have that conversation). I volunteered to walk their dog for free after their daughter asked me if I could help and she never followed throug. Basically, my assessment of the situation not being a professional is that someone needs to be living with them 24/7 or they need to be in a facility. They are driving me nuts and now I realize having a conversation with the mother and the daughter and a son is pointless. They know what’s truly going on and are pointing their fingers at me? Help :(
If you think she is a danger to herself and others, you could anonymously call The Office of Adult Services. They focus on the needs of the elderly and vulnerable adults.
Your neighbor sounds like a pain in the a**.
I would be upset with your HOA. What a disappointment they are!
I like your idea of printing photos as evidence. It’s interesting that the police didn’t want to see your Ring footage.
Look at how Amazon delivery thefts have been caught on camera. A picture is worth a thousand words. Keep a record of these incidents.
Sadly, even if you do ignore her antics, she may continue being a bother to you.
Many of us have dealt with annoying neighbors. I allowed my neighbor to use my vacuum cleaner because her vacuum cleaner broke.
She returned the vacuum to me. A few moments later she asked me to look through the vacuum cleaner bag to see if I could find her earring that she might have vacuumed up. LOL 😆. I took the bag off and told her that I was allergic to dust but she was perfectly welcome to look through the bag herself.
Another time she borrowed eggs, then flour, then butter, etc. I asked her, “Do you want me to bake your cake for you?” Hahaha 🤣
Then there was the old woman who was hunched over in the street. When I asked her what she was doing? She replied, “Weeding the cracks in the street.” I was quite taken aback with that one!
Good luck in resolving this issue
I woukd stick with working with the HOA. They have far greater powers and latitude than the police. And a greater stake in a good outcome.
Loose dogs (owners & guests). Not picking up poop. throwing poop in the woods behind our home. Stealing a shepherds hook from our rear area. Cutting our bushes along their driveway without permission. Parking in our driveway without permission (visitors). Blocking our driveway (owners & guests).Throwing poop bags at our front door that I had given her the day before…
Any HOA complaints are supposed to be in confidentialities but the HOA has told him each and every time it’s me
It had been my determination initially that she was a liar based on so many lies that she’s told but now I’m starting to wonder if it’s dementia or not…
Check with your town police department to see if you need to register your cameras once installed. And you are under no obligation to inform your neighbors of these cameras.
When they yell at you, make a note of the date and time and after a few instances, call the police and report them for harassment. Hope that helps to get them moved out and into appropriate care settings.
As others have said, do not have contact with any of them. Should anyone ask you for help just say "No" and walk away. And note the date and time they contacted you.
They expect you to be neighborly towards them when they aren’t the least bit concerned about being neighborly with you.
Life is too short to waste your time on your neighbor’s nonsense.
Imho You want whatever concerns to flow from the HOA; they have the authority to make them move. Where you live oh so does not want to have itself known as a place where the those with dementia wander about at will, yell for help or where fire department has to be called regularly as 1 spouse cannot be picked up by the other. Once HOA has a series of incidents like this on paper, your neighbors will have to move. The old lady knows how to “show dog” to police and authorities but she won’t be able to keep up the facade and HOA will have to act on getting them out.
Also please go to any HOA meetings and if there is a garden club or other civic group within your HoA, please join it. Even if that’s so not your personality. It will enable you to quietly shape the narrative on getting them booted.
Really look at you own HOA agreement, Betcha it’s got old school type of covenants which allow for HOA to get them to move under safety and security of themselves AND other residents type of clause.
As an aside on this drama, Anon321 a ? for you, any idea IF the child (a Son, I bet) that bought the townhome bought it 100% with their $ entirely OR bought it with the parents $? Just spitballin’ here but I’d be wondering if the Son did this as a way to move parents $ into a new asset that is in-theory exempt for LTC Medicaid. Most of the time, having elderly at the edge of needing a facility buying a new house not a good idea; usually kids want to have the parents downsize to IL or AL with services provided so that there is no upkeep or maintenance anymore & have $$$ on hand to private pay for care later on when needed. Something abt the financials sounds odd to me.
The HOA is aware and no help at all. Should I go silent or continue to keep the HOA updates. FYI: the neighbors real estate agent is on the board and, I believe, supporting them:(
There is a lot that’s fishy. The fire department is always in here picking seniors up off the floor, etc. etc. etc. Could they be trying to build a case to oust me? 🤷♀️🤦♀️
They have:
1) stolen a shepherds hook prior
2) park in my driveway/block my driveway
3) let their dog run free and don’t pick up it’s messes
4) rang my doorbell and thanked me for things and rang my doorbell to yell at me
5) there’s more…
Dont remember seeing anything in covenants RE: moving, etc… I don’t know about the financials; however, the real estate/board member is always moving in elders that don’t make it here long. It’s a racquet, I believe. A very sick and sad racquet…but very profitable for him and the board.
Things are going to escalate and this woman's children will have to do something. Poor man, he is dying and no one seems to care.
Go about your life as if they do not exist.
This is not your drama, It's theirs! Don't make it yours! Do not contact the family. Do not help them. No contact. Ignore.
I know it's hard, but you need to protect yourself and that's the only way you can do it, other than moving. And, more than likely - if this escalates - you will be the one who winds up moving.
Edited to add: I am speaking from my 10 years experience as a 911 Dispatcher.
If you can stay COMPLETELY out of it that is then what I would do. Make recordings, though and keep a diary. Push may come to shove. This is likely a self-correcting thing in that the family IS nearby, likely IS frantic about what can be done about this, and likely IS upset.
Are other neighbors affected? This isn't a condo, with a condo association I am assuming? Sorry, other than a violent couple with guns moving in this is next up for just what you don't want next door, and it's likely to only get worse. Wish I had better news.
It's always nice to be a good neighbor, but you've already assessed the situation and see where it's going. Jump out of the way and avoid the crash. It's coming.
If their mail is put in your box write on it "delivered to wrong address" and place it back in your box. The post office will deliver it to the correct address next time. DO not place anything in their mail box or go onto their property.
If you have an HOA bring some of your concerns about noise to the attention of the HOA, if it is a violation they will notify the residents.
Do not walk their dog for free of for payment.
I guess bottom line is back off...have as little to do with them as possible.
If you truly think they are in danger, if there are VALID reasons that can be proven that they can not safely live alone contact APS but do not make that call if the concerns are not valid. If you make calls for no reason when there is a real concern they may not take the call seriously.