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After I noticed that my mother's underwear was about 30 years old and in tatters I got her some nice new sets, and replaced the soap shards with nice soap, and tried to make the bathroom things seem fun and special. I still have to do a lot of reminding about underwear, depends, face washing and such, but we try to make it more of a pleasant experience. It is a lot of work! I just keep remembering how my parents were so patient with me when I was a child and didn't want to change clothes or comb my hair or wash my hands and face....and they were always kind to me.
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NO one will truly understand how it is unless they've been in your shoes. Your staying there is benefiting for him. You are keeping him fairly safe. Is he physically abusive? if so, then I advise you to make a change and get your own place again. Ultimately you are putting him before yourself. That is what unconditional love is all about. . Pray to God and ask him to let you know when the time is right to make a change. You will know, trust your instincts. Ask God for the courage and the wisdom to know when the time is right. I want you to know that I feel for you immensely. I am going through the same thing with my mother of 88 years. Its a rough road, a daily struggle, but some days aren't so bad. I know your main goal is to protect your father. Do what you have to do until you know you cannot endure any more. Its so easy for people to tell you to leave, but they aren't in your shoes. I have been "kicked out' and told to never come back" countless times by Mom, yet I know she's acting out of fear. I don't give much credence to her words. My best advice to you is to find a safe place-somewhere you can go to get away temporarily when he gets unreasonable. And pray. Pray without ceasing. He will guide you. God will provide for you if your just believe and receive.
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