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Luv, you need to get Tracy and Linda together and establish the boundaries between family membership and caregiver professionalism. I still think you're dealing with nothing more sinister than an excess of zeal, perhaps - would you agree? - fed by your mother's sociability and warmth towards people whose company she enjoys; nevertheless there are things that are ok and not ok when it comes to the protection of vulnerable adults.

For example. Feeling free to ring Tracy for a daily gossip, fine. Tracy's being the first port of call for help, not fine. Caregivers organising a surprise party for your mother, lovely. Caregivers doing same without prior reference to the family members who ***are your mother's primary caregivers n.b.***, much less lovely and in fact a pain in the neck.

It's a question of delicate pruning. I suggest talking to them together so that neither feels "got at" personally, and setting out ground rules that you've thought through in detail beforehand - perhaps even composing a kind of manual for use by them and any future HCA's who might come on the scene. It wouldn't hurt to involve your mother, too, as far as she's able to be involved - you could explain to her, perhaps, that there are laws about this sort of thing, and your aim is to avoid potential trouble for these lovely ladies by making everything nice and clear.

You don't say how you have gone about hiring these people? Are you going through an agency or recruiting privately?
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Have you done a background check on Linda? If not, please do asap. Something is wrong with this person. She has known your mother for a short time and she's calling her grandma? Not appropriate at all. Dropping by on her day off, planning a party without your permission, verbally expressing love for your mother, and telling her she missed her while she visited another family member? The warning bells are ringing quite loudly! Red flags are abundant! I believe she has psychiatric issues. This is a very bad situation that can only get worse. There are some dangerous sociopaths who can be quite charming. Please, tell her you no longer require her services. Block her phone number or change your moms number.
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