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I will be on a business-related trip for 2 weeks and my husband will go to an assisted living facility for respite care while I'm gone. Usually he has a caregiver with him, or I am working remotely from home and can assist him. We are looking at three local places so he will feel he has some choice. He is not happy with my being away but understands I need to be. He has some dementia, fall risk, gets confused at night, needs help with bathing, toilet and other daily living activities. I think he will enjoy being able to converse with other residents, maybe do some activities, but am concerned about his being out of his routines. I will ask some friends to look in on him. Wondering if I should pay our home care agency to spend time with him also, though that's an additional expense. If anyone has experience with this type of situation I welcome thoughts or advice.

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Needed to do that for my Mom when her house sold-as we had to go out of state to take care of stuff there. So she was kind've reluctant, but the facility was really nice and clean. Ya know what clenched it for her? A daily newspaper would be delivered! Ooohhh....was she thrilled with that-and it was free with her stay! Wow. And she could have her meals in her room, she wasn't feeling too social at the time and said "oh, look at all of these old people here". Anyway, perhaps there's something your husband would enjoy as a perk during his stay? Could you have something he likes sent there? A random phone call from an old friend? A surprise visit from a family member? I bet this goes better than you think-I pretty much had myself worried sick about this, but when we went to pick up Mom, she looked great, rested and caught up on all the local news too.
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Thank you all for sensible comments that make me feel better about this!
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Sounds like you found a very good solution.

I'm sure your DH will be fine. The 1st time is always the hardest - for you both.

You did so well involving him in the choice. Very thoughtful.

Just an idea.. Maybe there is a middle option between All New Place All New People & paying extra $$ for the known Aides?

Could 1 or 2 of the usual Aides be paid just to visit? For 'friendly visiting' rather than for usual duties - maybe once or twice a week. The agency may have minimum shift requirement (1 or 2 hrs?).

It would depend.

Would the cost be considerably cheaper than your usual weekly amount?

Would seeing a friendly well-known face be a good addition to his week? Or add confusion?

Would it help you to feel better?
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AHWilson Mar 2022
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Just do it. It may work out much better than you think. They'll contact you if there is something going badly wrong, but try it the normal way first. It may be a pleasant surprise and something you will want to repeat!
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AHWilson Mar 2022
Thanks for your comments!
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He understands that he needs to go to respite without you, which is encouraging in that he probably does understand that there will be new people assisting him. He also seems aware enough to know that you have to be away from work, so hopefully he will be aware enough not to call you every minute while you're at work on this trip. You are doing this for the both of you.

He seems to get it, so I would give him a chance to apply this knowledge. I wouldn't bring in his home aides just yet--you're through an agency so who you get can change.
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AHWilson Mar 2022
Thank you for responding!
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