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They aren't going to quit smoking at this point. So I would find some smokeless ashtrays and get the oil burning candles, also a whole house air purifier that has washable filters. These will help your house not smell like a dirty ashtray.

This works so well that my mom, who is an ex smoker thought I didn't smoke in my house. I laughed and said only out of courtesy to you, actually I didn't want to listen to her biotching about the smoke. But it does take care of the smoke and odor.

I think that them risking blowing the house up is a huge problem. I think I would ask them if they even gave a crap about me. Their bad habit risks your health and welfare and that doesn't seem to bother them. Would they prefer to be in a facility? Because quite frankly that is where they will end up if your immune system goes crazy from constant exposure to irritants.

I used to have a sign in my office that said, "Second hand smoke is the result of your habit, excessive urination is the result of mine. I don't mind breathing your second hand smoke if you don't mind me peeing on your head."

Oh btw, I quit smoking 10 years ago and recommend it. I feel so much better. I used e cigs that look like cigarettes and taste like them, none of that vaping flavors business.

Good luck, it is a terrible habit that is hard to break because it truly increases the serotonin in your system.
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DeletedAccount Nov 2019
I don’t expect them to quit just quit smoking inside and stinking up the house. Candles make it smell better but it doesn’t stop the effect of the smoke.

I smoked in the past for a couple of year but it made me extremely sick so I quit and my doctor told me to make sure to stay away from all sources of second hand smoke since I have a vascular disorder.
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If they put money toward the down payment, they may well have the idea that they are co-owners with you. Basically they do not see it as "your house" but as "our house" collectively.  I know this is drastic, but unless I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'd be looking to change my living situation, i.e. move to a less expensive area yourself and insist that they find senior living apartment, etc.  Sounds like a lot of hassle, and it is, but it may be simpler and more workable in the long run.
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DeletedAccount Nov 2019
If I had just been buying my own house or renting I could afford it just fine. I had to buy a specific home for their needs. Like I said I pay most of all the expenses. They put the down payment down also to keep from spending it.

Also so I am in the least expensive area for the city. It also wasn’t my idea rather it was theirs.

Obviously I can’t force them to move. So what options do I have. I already asked them to move. They do not want to move or live in apartment and even if I have them to down payment they couldn’t afford a senior apartment here as most of them are very expensive. They have no retirement at all on SS.
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