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It sounds like not only do you have burn out but signs of clinical depression. Have you seen your doctor about this? That would be the first step...talking to a professional to give you guidance, help and maybe medication. Then yes, you must look after yourself. Nowhere are we called to sacrifice ourself, our mental health, physical health, economic health etc, for our parents. I doubt if your mother was healthy that she would want you to be this way. It's neither noble or healthy nor does it mean you don't love her. You must take care of you and that is not selfish it's ok. One thing you hear about is what this kind of stress does to the brain of the caregiver...and it's not pretty. I agree with the others about other options for nurses. Right now you have a real condition and it's called "caregiver fatigue". People in the health professions, ministry etc. are vulnerable to it. Please get help so you don't spiral down any further. You are worth it.
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Maybe you need to look at another career, even if you think you don;t have the skills for you it may! Lots of online classes, free options for learning. Like real estate, baking for a local restaruant..travel agent? can you turn a hobby into a part time job? I speak as someone used to change jobs every 7 years.. like clockwork! I fell into respiratory care 20 years ago almost by accident.. and I still love it, and its portable like nursing! If you are already a nurse it would be easy for you, and 3 days a week is full time for me (and many RTs).. so I am able to watch mom and still work with help from hubs. Or PT aides. And the caregiving as an RT is not so much.. and the pay is better!
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I found an excellent caregiver who was a registered nurse in the Philippines before immigrating to America. If you can get a caregiver to come in just once a week or maybe one weekend a month, you'll feel refreshed. I know this suggestion doesn't completely take away the stress and exhaustion of caring for debilitated loved one, but you need to do something for yourself NOW. For the last decade, people kept telling me the same thing and I just didn't do it - and my health seriously deteriorated. Then, in the last few weeks, I had a wake-up call and I got mad - at myself for putting my mother's needs before mine for so long that I've forgotten what it was like to just be still, be in the moment, be me. Is there a local massage school in your area? If so, see if they offer massages at a student-training rate. I recently signed up for student massages and I feel so great afterwards as my muscles were so, so tight from the stress of dealing with Mom. And like NoJoy3, I've looked into group homes and the ones I've seen that I feel would be okay for Mom - have 1 caregiver to 3 patients and they charge a ridiculous - no insane - amount of money and with no one-on-one care??!! I'm exhausted with just me solo caregiving Mom. Financially, it makes no sense for me to put her in a group home - but I also haven't reached my breaking point just yet. I'm getting here but I'm hoping Mom will pass before I've reached my boiling point.
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I too was so burnt out taking care of stage 5 Parkinson's, I feared for my sanity. It is amazing how well you become after you are free. N o stress, doing what you want when you want, 8 hours of solid sleep. I miss my Dad so much, but I am happy and healthy. You will be too. I feel it's time to get your Mom placed. If you can't please get some help.
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Ignore my whining. I'm so burnt out I doubt I could make it as a Walmart Greeter! I need a vacation!!! The people above have some great ideas that you might want to consider. What options are available will depend alot on where you are located and what resources are around you. Best of Luck. You'll find something.
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I agree with NYDaughterinlaw. RN's are sought after. I would think they have many types of positions that you could transition into, including clerical positions, reading records, teaching at community college, insurance companies, anything that is less stressful and physically demanding. My health insurance company has nursing available on telephone standby for health questions.

I would go online and see what's out there. Knowing what the possibilities are might lift your spirits and give you more incentive to get out of the house and return to some independence.
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One of my best friends is a nurse and works behind the scenes in risk management. Before that she was an investigative nurse for a law firm where she made good money and the lawyers treated her like a valued member of the team. I'm not a nurse but I think your RN is a very valuable degree that you can apply in ways that won't resemble caregiving. Good luck!!!
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I can really relate to your situation. I care for my 90yo demented mother 24/7. I'm also an RN. Had to quit work to care for Mom full time. Like you I have spent my entire adult life caregiving. My plan was to return to work after Mom went into a NH or passed away. I've even checked into placing her in a memory care unit but the staff to pt ratio was what I felt so bad on noc shift that I just can't bring myself to do it yet (it was 1:18). I also feel like putting Mom in a home isn't going to help me out much. Yes, there will be others to do the physical work but I'm still the one that is going to have all the ultimate responsibility for her plus I'd have to return to work and to be honest I just don't know that I can do that. Like you, I am totally burnt out, I'm fried!! I enjoyed working but the thought of going back to work and being totally responsible for Mom, even if she was in a NH makes me physically sick. So my plan for now is continue to care for Mom at home. For me, I know I will need a significant break from caregiving to get myself physically and mentally healthy before I can go back to nursing, if I ever do. So sad.
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