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My only sibling is an older brother. He is a strange person. He has never helped our mom or dad. He never visited them. I was the only one that took my dad to doctor appointments and helped my mom through all the stress and grief while dad went through 4 years of different ailments. He passed away in 2006 at 81. This is 2018. My brother has only been to visit mom 2 times in 12 years. He lives about 10 minutes from her. I was the one that took mom grocery shopping, just got her out for some other shopping, to get a sandwich and ice cream cone, I visited her weekly talked to her on the phone daily. I solved all her problems for her..financial...selling properties for her...sold a business for her...sold a trailer park for her and a couple rental houses and two antique cars for her....too many to mention, ( all this belonged to my dad and was left to mom when he passed) took her to get her hair done monthly. My husband mowed her yard for her and my daughter and son-in-law shoveled snow and did odd jobs for her and kept a close eye on her since they live across the street from her. I do not see my brother any more than Mom did and don't care to just because of the way he is so unfriendly. Dad put his house in my name in 2002 , gave me a cell tower property. He gave my brother the house he has lived in for the last 40 years free and clear. When my mom passed away at the age of 93 this year in her will she made my brother executor of her personal and real estate and left me nothing saying that I have already been well provided for which is fine. I think she figured out a way to make my brother finally be responsible and share some of the stress by inheriting 3 rental properties, the lift station for them and all the utilities and taxes that go with it, two insurance policies and the balance in her check book after all the bills are paid. I am so happy to not have to deal with that.
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CarlaCB: You're welcome and thank you for allowing me to better explain my post. I know what you mean about your sister not being suited for caregiving. My brother would not be a good candidate to be a caregiver, even though he is an attorney. That was okay, but a bit funny when mother was served a taco and he said "this (salsa) is cold. " I said "let me show you how a taco is eaten, mother and brother." I had to move to my mother's home, which wasn't in the same state as mine. Women from mom's church brought me meals! Also, there were at least two different occasions where I used alternate transportation for my late mother, giving myself a short respite to rest and regroup. I am glad you also found aide in prayerful circles of assistance, lest you break.
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Katiekay: Yes, prayerful circles of carers, if possible, is far better than the solitary caregiver.
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I hate them b/c they have sucked every penny from my divorced parents.

My Dad gave my brother over $115,000 through the years. Now brother is living at Dad's & controlling the SS check (now that dad is destitute). Where was brother when dad was losing his house & I stepped in to straighten out Dad's finances? How about paying back some of the $115,000? So when bank called me about the $500 check Dad wrote to brother I called APS!

I hate my sister b/c of all the sh$t she has put my mother through. Sister is a crack addict & mom keeps trying to help. I rent a condo to mom & Mom announces," I can't pay rent this month b/c I need to buy new tires for sister's car" (the tires had been slashed). When sis was stopped for moving violation she gave cops my name! So I had to go to court 50 miles away several times to get it straightened out. In the meantime I shell out over $500/mo to keep mom in the condo.

Yes, I hate those low life blood sucking scumbags.
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CTTN55, I Loved that last line, SHE DOESN'T THINK I DO TOO MUCH FOR HER!!! Truer words were never spoken!!!
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