My dad is 82, with moderate dementia. He has been living in AL for 5 months. His home is 400 miles away from where he now lives (I moved him close to me). There is no immediate financial need to sell his home, however the upkeep and care is time consuming and difficult.
I would like to have an estate sale, then sale his home. But I'm not sure if I should tell him. He knows he needs to sell his house. He talks about selling it. But he is overwhelmed when he thinks about all his "stuff" and the work involved with deciding what to keep and how to clear it out. My dad has a lot of "stuff" from his grandparents. Much of that is battered and probably trash, but they all hold memories for him.
I am wondering if it would be less stressful for him (and me) if I move forward on this without telling him. Or would it hurt him more if/when he were to learn about it later?
If possible save 2 or 3 very special things from his Grandparents. If this is not the case, order a trash bin from waste management and start tossing. You may find something of at least sentimental value and of value to your family such as photos, antique guns, etc. ( My Mother had shoes in original boxes from the 30s. I figured what she had not used in 60 years she was not going to miss, especially since she had dementia and couldn't see from macular degeneration. But you never know.)
You need to gauge his awareness of the house situation by asking test questions. Pick something he may have always been interested in-- like sports, investments, cars, whatever-- and ask him a pertinent question. If he seems overwhelmed, confused, or over it, that would seem a sign you could move forward.
All the best to you:) xo