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Ty all for such caring responses. I’ve decided to put my own happiness first and meet with him. I’ll keep you posted. Love you
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bundleofjoy Jan 2022
just be careful, as we know, they all start off nice.

some are genuinely nice.
:)
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You've been abused enough. God is within. Not without, and loves us all unconditionally.

Please YouTube Anita Moorjani. She can really help put things into perspective.

Live your life. Be happy while you have your health.
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Either
get a divorce and help your husband get into a nursing home
or
reconcile yourself to staying in this marriage and don't look for male companionship elsewhere.
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Dear Pam.
Please listen to the sage wisdom of others who say this is no time to jump into another relationship.
You need distance, time, and healing with serious good counseling before you'll be ready to go out and have fun. Divorcing an abuser is the first step to doing what is best for yourself. You are not required nor responsible to care for him as he tumbles down that dementia slope. Please fix your own hurts and issues before thinking you can jump in the saddle to ride off into paradise. It never happens that way. Most relationships after an abusive one also fail unless alot of emotional work is done. The neuropathways have been disrupted and healthy relationships take alot of work you won't be expecting and may wind up repeating the same behaviors...
God bless you as you get yourself taken care of first. And then you'll know how to recognize a truly nice man and be the right woman for him.
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You deserve happiness. You've served your time. I also went through 42 years of physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I left him for a few months, then he got sick. I went back only then because i could see the writing on the wall. I had to ask myself if i would feel guilty once he was gone for not caring for my children's father. I really didn't want to do it. But i did. I'm glad i did, but i also know how much of my life i gave to this abuser. I learned a big lesson. Go find happiness anyway and anywhere you can. Don't let him glue you down any longer. You deserve happiness. He doesn't deserve you. HOWEVER! Any nice man is better than the man you have. DON'T jump into another relationship! Even if you dont think so, you've lost yourself in abuse. Go find yourself. Do what you like to do, go where you want to go. Be your own best friend. Don't let another "NICE" man into your world. If you do, you've only got yourself to blame. I'm enjoying my free life in ways i never thought i could. I will NEVER let another man tie me down. I don't care how nice he is. You need to learn how to live without a man before enjoying your life to the fullest. They only drag you down and it's always compromising about something.
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I'm pretty sure I read something else you wrote about your husband who abused you for 40 years and then stopped. You asked why -- I say it's because he knew he was going to need you to do everything for him while he watches TV by himself all day.

I'm very happy you found someone else! Go date him now. You don't owe anything to anyone. God doesn't want you to suffer.
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You deserve happiness!!! Seek it in all parts of your life. You have inspired me and I’m going to go do something that makes me happy right now.
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