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It is ironic that the very people who regularly deal with elders dying seem so reluctant to acknowledge that fact and offer practical advice. Maybe some families prefer to remain in denial, but I would want all the truthful information they could give me. Even if a hospice group is not willing to travel so far out of their home base on a regular basis, would it be possible to hire a palliative nurse on a consulting basis? I think you are a lot like me, you just want some straight answers without having to go searching for them on the web.
I have heard a palliative nurse say that they can control their deaths up to a point, if she wants you there she will hold on until you are present, if she goes at night it will be because she preferred it that way.
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amygrace - the same question - re antibiotics - was put to me yesterday by the doctor on the geriatric evaluation team. I asked her what her recommendation was considering that she had done a review of mother's condition. She said to not give antibiotics but to let nature take its course. I agreed though I can't say it is an easy decision, but I am sure it is the right one. This just is a hard time for everyone and the decisions weigh heavy. I mentioned to the dr that I thought often these days modern medicine prolongs the dying process rather than prolonging any life with quality and she agreed. I know what you are going through.

No one has made any predictions about how long mother has and I don't suppose they can. The doctor said in cases like mother's often their heart stops in their sleep and they don't even know why. I am sad too - end of life is always sad I think. I have no idea if I will be able to get there when the time comes or if I will get a phone call that she has gone. I will go down in a week or so and see it as a farewell visit though she may go on for a while. This is such a difficult time. ((((((((Hugs)))))))
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I too am going through the exact same thing and now have to talk to the doctor today. My mom has a broken hip and knee cap and has a catheter. Whenever they have to change it she says she is being raped. Our elderly shouldn't have to suffer this way..
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