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When I arrive in the mornings, they usually have just put on a fresh diaper, though sometimes they don't even put it on properly and one side is not covering one butt check. His sheets are often wet and there is evidence that he has dug out the wet parts of his previous diaper because little parts of it are on him and in the bed and on the floor. Whenever I arrive earlier than they expect, they rush in to change him while I wait at the door. The overnight staff lie and say that they "check" every two hours and change more than once but it just isn't true. The day staff know that the overnight staff are not changing any of the residents except for once in the morning. My Dad often sleeps late into the day and it makes me wonder if he has stayed awake a lot of the night uncomfortable and wet. I don't know what to do. I see him in the morning and again at night and when I leave at 7pm at night I put a high-absorbency diaper on him (that we bought for him) to try to maximize the time he stays dry. Still...nearly 10 hours is too long to be in a diaper and my research says that 4 hours is the max (provided no stool). We live in a small town so our options are slim on other facilities. My mom can't drive long distances and she spends the middle part of every day with him. I feel that overnight staff won't change because there is no accountability or checking in on them to see if they are doing their jobs. It is very difficult for any facility to get staff (so I've learned...) so they feel comfortable that they won't get fired. Any ideas on how to navigate this situation to keep my Dad safe? I'm worried about him getting a UTI. (He already had one in July that went into sepsis and hospitalization). Thank you for any ideas.

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Is it possible that your father should now be in long-term care instead of assisted living?
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Reply to Igloocar
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I have no personal experience with this, but I believe that many people have that have set up cameras have had more success with making sure things go smoothly. I would agree that meeting with admin is preferable and cameras can make sure that communication is being handled like it needs to be. The problem often arises with shift changes not communicating with one another. Are they leaving notes for each other and talking to each other before leaving? I believe most people would need to be changed four or five times a day if a cathedar is not being used.
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Reply to DoggieMom86
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I am a retired Alzheimer’s nurse who has worked in assisted living. The first thing that I would do is have a talk with the administrator of the building and then ask them for a meeting with them and the charge nurse. I have found sometimes if the patient is asleep they will not wake up just peek in and make sure they are safe in bed. Sometimes the staff needs to be educated on incontence care and the importance of keeping the patient clean and dry to prevent bedsores. Please address the nurse manager or administrator because I have even seen the nurse assistants dozing through the night and even some nurses will if you don’t follow up with this. Most good assist care facilities get a bad reputation because of a few of the staff. The squeaky wheel gets the oil, our loved ones deserve the best care, which all caregivers would want for their loved ones!!!
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Reply to Alucy71
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HollyAnne: Report this to the DON especially since sepsis had previously occurred.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I agree that you need to do both: meet with management and tell them directly this cannot continue, plus install cameras. I had the same issue, and cameras will force them to do their job better.
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Reply to PianoRobin
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Every state and US territory has a LTC Ombudsman program through the Congressional Administration on Aging. States’ Long-Term Care (LTC) Ombudsman programs work to resolve problems related to the health, safety, welfare, and rights of individuals who live in LTC facilities, such as nursing homes, board and care and assisted living facilities, and other residential care communities. Ombudsman programs promote policies and consumer protections to improve long-term services and supports at the facility, local, state, and national levels. Each state has an Office of the State LTC Ombudsman, headed by a full-time State LTC Ombudsman who directs the program statewide. I can speak from experience in multiple situations that the Ombudsman staffers are eager - and immediate - in investigating and helping resolve issues.
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Reply to GBCAgingCare
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I use heavy absorbent diapers with heavy absorbent insert pads for my husband during the day. At night I put a catheter on him, which is attached to a drainage bag. I put the bag in a small trash can so it cannot be disturbed. I use the same heavy absorbent diapers with extra absorbent insert pads overnight as well. I have a waterproof mattress cover I place over his bed sheet for those times he occasionally pulls the catheter off. Catheters come in different sizes, and any medical supply store will give you a size guide. (See end notes below). My preferred catheter brand is the Conveen Optima by Coloplast. They come 30 to a box, and I order them on line from ATC Medical. www.atcmedical.com. 1-877-508-4013. If you order $100 in supplies from them, shipping is free. I also recommend the McKesson Disposable Urinary Drainage Bag 2000mL (Avoid the Bard drainage bag.) This is an excellent company. Staff very helpful. I think their website has videos for this catheter. YouTube also has demonstration videos. I also put a protective ointment on his skin to avoid irritation issues.
Notes:
You can purchase single caterers at a local medical supply in different sizes to try them out and see which size is best. Be sure your Dad is not allergic to this silicone catheter. My brother in law could not use them. My husband has never had any issues with them.
You can also request catheter samples from Coloplast. Call 1-866-226-6362 or send an email to samples@coloplast.com.
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Reply to DonnaClodfelter
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The patient’s care & comfort is the facility’s main job. If you have confronted the staff about your Dad’s diaper situation to no avail, I would request a meeting with the facility’s director, have concerns written down beforehand, and discuss the problems you have with the director. Would also let the director know that if improvements aren’t made, you will carry your concerns to the next level. All patients in care facilities need someone as an advocate (family member/loved ones) to represent them since their voices often go unheard. Being under-staffed or whatever other excuses the care-givers tell you is no reason for this kind of neglect. Please speak up and don’t stop until improvements are made. (As the saying goes, most times, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil and your Dad deserves it!) Highly recommend installing a camera in his room; Walmart sells what is much like a baby monitor which includes a program that can be installed on your ipad/phone. You can check in on your Dad instantaneously, review videos recorded throughout night, and talk through camera to him if he seems agitated. (Internet access is required.)
V-tech camera:
https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwi5_Omwy86EAxUUU0cBHYGPBrAYABAIGgJxdQ&ae=2&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASJuRomifKckqkstm3yHXDoz8rpVZFrUC7_RZO-rJRdlFlzdmG55Up&sig=AOD64_2rlVfYTqZ9QG9oMZ5mDmAJQlygog&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwi14uKwy86EAxWhtokEHZYoDQcQ5bgDKAB6BAgDEDI&adurl=
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Reply to HollyG1955
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So sorry.. I keep notifying the nursing director. Our night staff is often "agency" staff who do not know the resident needs.. that's a sad truth. We also often have 1 staff member for 28 residents at night. AL is not a nursing home. Care is very different. Good luck..
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Reply to Sadinroanokeva
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I’m so sorry that your father is being neglected by the overnight shift. Please report this to the DON.

Are cameras allowed in your state? If so, please look into installing one. A picture is worth a thousand words. You will have proof that the staff isn’t caring for your dad properly.

Wishing you success in resolving this issue.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Simply not acceptable. Please meet with the director of nursing or site administration and voice this. Mention their liability if he gets a bedsore or infection. There’s zero excuse. He’s a paying customer, no matter how the bill is paid, and a human in need of humane care. I’m sorry you’re going through this
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You can discuss this with the admins and then if that doesn't work escalate it to the Ombudsman office.
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Reply to MyNameIsTrouble
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This is heartbreaking to read as I am going through something similar with my mom and unfortunately I think this is the “norm”. I recently got a camera for my mom’s room so I can see if they are actually checking on her every 2 hours (as they claim) and it seems to scare the aides into doing their job. Terrible but true!
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Reply to ErinFlorida
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