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I have dealt with and witnessed abuse like this. At first I just let it roll off my back but eventually I decided enough was enough. I don’t even care if an apology comes afterwards, which it often - but not always - does. The solution is to limit contact. You are not the help and to be honest the help probably gets treated better, or at least gets compensated.

I have no patience for that behavior anymore. Any outbursts like that have me not coming around for quite some time. It doesn’t really prevent the poor behavior but it makes me feel better to only endure it infrequently. At some point I may just end all contact. Life is too short. I don’t care if you are my parent or not.
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It sounds to me like she is not of her right mind.
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If you or she can afford it, get a caregiver who can drop in several times a week to assist her. Be thankful that you don't live with her. Some of us have to deal with this sort of behavior 24/7! Unless she takes medication for her outbursts, she will never change. Medication may not be useful at this point. Be there for her when she needs it, but that's all, which is what it seems like you are doing now.
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I didn't see anything about your mother having dementia. You don't have to accept unacceptable behavior. I get that our parents raised us, but they were doing what they were supposed to do.

As for me, I wouldn't do a thing for disrespectful people. I would probably limit my time spent with this person. It got so bad with my dad before he died that he was lucky if he received a visit twice a year from me. I went to therapy for years, but it wasn't that I didn't care anymore. I stopped visiting because I was exhausted emotionally. He emotionally abused us for years.
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