Follow
Share

I’m currently in a skilled nursing facility and my roommate has dementia. She screams all throughout the night. I have been moved around to so many rooms already. I’ve  talked to DOH, they said that’s a lot of stress that I shouldn’t have to move again and they would handle the problem. It’s been 2 months and it’s gotten worse since her last fall out of bed. My night LVN said she talked to administration about it and that she needed to be moved to a room closer to the nursing station. She’s fallen out of bed and gone to the hospital twice in the past few months because my room isn’t close to the nurses station. When I mentioned something so the social worker, they are now saying I am the one who needs to move. Today I was in the hallway and she was in her chair completely topless. 7 cnas saw and didn’t do anything other than walk off. Finally, someone from therapy was coming down the hall and I asked if everyone was going to ignore the fact she’s naked? She saw her and grabbed a sheet. At this point I could care less about my sleep, but to me I feel like my roommate is being neglected and have no idea what the next steps I should take.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Update: I found out OOP was out on pass.
also last night getting my meds the note was there on a new price of paper dated, when I asked my lvn how long has this been on the paper… she said since she got back Wednesday. Tuesday I spoke to the administrator of nursing and voiced my concerns on how it looked like neglect to me. Her response was it wasn’t and since leaving the meeting with her.. the note.. “false stories and accusations towards staff/residents” appeared on the 72 hour update chart and has been on it longer than 72 hours.

On a good note: my roommates son was here yesterday and I told him what happened with his mom being left exposed and how when I expressed concern it was viewed as a false story and accusation. He said he would notify his brother (the one in charge). So hopefully something happens.

Also isn’t a form of neglect leaving men and woman patients naked covered in a bath sheet waiting outside the showers (in shower chairs) with puddles of pee under them? To me is like treating us like farm animals.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

ADL activities of daily living: eating, washing, dressing etc.

OOp or COO? Not sure.

I know SOOB is Sit Out Of Bed

Could be O for observed? O2??

I think it would be reasonable to have a 1:1 chat with the person in charge. Keep to concerns that are yours. Report your not sleeping well. Report your distress seeing an undressed patient. Ask for feedback on your progress (if you are there short term). If long term, ask about a patient advocate to help smooth these issues.

Kind thoughts to you & good luck!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Ms. Lewis, you mention having taken a photo of what is commented in your LVC sheets. So you have the use of a camera. Note: I am not familiar with privacy laws in your state/country. Could you legally photo-document future incidents? Phone cameras will apply dates to help confirm your concerns.

Legality of photos?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Jocelynlewis Jul 2023
I’m in California so I will have to find the laws for pictures
(1)
Report
Some great options already!

Annnnd a few more!

* This US government site has info, including about elder law https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspx
You can also call Monday - Friday from 8am - 9pm ET at 1-800-677-1116. You can also email them if you do not have privacy. (And please make sure you are locking your electronic devices.)

* Your local Area Agency on Aging.

* Possibly your doctor if you have a good relationship and they do not work for the facility. My mom was lucky at one point because an outside physical therapist was working with her regularly and was able to validate her situation, so it might not be your doc, but any medical or social work person as they are usually mandated reporters.

* If you belong to a church, your clergy coming to visit you regularly, might also be good for extra eyes.

* If you want to say what state you are in, I would be happy to try to find the state LTC complaint hotline. I assume, but don’t know, that you can file anonymously.

* If you can have private calls, you might call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 hotline at 800.272.3900 or https://www.alz.org/. You always have to explain things to a first level support person, but they can be very helpful. If you get sent to second level support, they usually want to come up with practical things you can do. My person doesn’t have Alz, but the Alz Assoc has been very helpful on brainstorming some things because she does have dementia. They might have some other suggestions for you to try.

* Do you have regular visitors? If not, I’d see if you can arrange for some weekly volunteer companionship (or paid if you can afford it). The area agency on aging or your local senior center might have options. It’s always good for facilities to know outsiders are coming regularly. Maybe you need someone to play cribbage with or you tutor in math. Whatever.

* Finally if you have a POA or lawyer, letting them know what’s going on is a good idea as well even if you don’t need to enact the POA at this time.

None of that solves your issue of course, but perhaps it’ll help in some way. My mom was a night screamer for two years until they discovered and treated her multiple back fractures. I definitely feel for you.

Take care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
HappyRobin Jul 2023
And as a side note, topless in a public space without someone addressing it is a major no-no in Kansas. I’ve seen inspection reports that rip facilities merely because the fabric bag covering someone’s urine bag had slipped.

In Kansas cameras are legal in rooms. You need to complete a form and get a signature, but depending on your state that might be an option.

Depending on your state, you might also be able to audio record at night on your phone without notice because you are one half of the interaction being recorded and in your own room. Those might be eldercare hotline questions.
(4)
Report
You should not nor should anyone else who does not have dementia have to be a roommate with someone who does.
People with physical illness or injury should not be anywhere mentally ill people either in a nursing home.

If I were you, I would call APS on yourself. It obvious that you do not have dementia. It is a detriment to your health and safety to have to share a room with a dementia resident.

Also, it is not your job to "look after" her because she's out of it and you aren't.
It's the nursing home's job to look after her. They are the ones collecting a fortune for her care every month. You aren't.
I hope you hear from the Ombudsman's Office soon, but don't hold your breath.
I think you will have better luck with APS.
If you're responsible for yourself, maybe look online for board and care homes like Alva has suggested. That seems like it would be a better fit for you.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
BurntCaregiver Jul 2023
@MD1748

I completely agree with my comments too.
(2)
Report
Does the roommate have a POA, family and/or any visitors who could advocate for her? Moving her closer to the nursing station might be a stopgap solution, but if her doctor could be made aware of what is happening, perhaps medication could be prescribed. It's not good for the roommate--let alone for YOU--to have interrupted sleep every night. That would drive me up the wall. Her falling out of bed multiple times is another issue and one that I think would be of concern to the NH for safety reasons.

I don't even know what to say about the "topless" situation, especially if it was observed by 7 CNAs and nothing was done. If all else fails, there is likely a State NH Ombudsperson as well as an elder abuse hotline where an anonymous report could be made. If you have family visitors, they probably should be made aware of this situation since it impacts your quality of life and even your health. Depending on your personal and financial circumstances, there may be limited options. I agree that you shouldn't be the one who has to relocate (again) but removing myself from this situation and getting some sleep would be priority #1 for me.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Jocelynlewis Jul 2023
Newest update: haven’t heard back from DOH or the ombudsman. Yesterday while getting my meds I read something I shouldn’t have seen on my LVC update sheets stating “ADL function going oop., false stories and accusations towards staff/residents” (I’m not sure if it’s oop. Cop. 00p.) the picture I took of it the writing of those 3 letters is hard to read.
I’m at a loss because now they are making me sound crazy when other cnas are like what stories are you saying besides telling the truth?
so now that that is in my records, if doh shows up they will think I’m crazy and making everything up.
(2)
Report
You are exceptionally literate so I am assuming that you have a smart phone. I think I would ask for the contact for an ombudsman and speak to that person. I wouldn't know what else you can do as you have so tried the regular channels.

I wonder if it is an option for you to move? For someone as literate and bright as you a Board and Care with approximately 6 other patients may be a much better match. You would have your own room there. I think many are covered by SSI and/or medicaid.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you will update this. When my brother was in rehab he swore that a gentleman who was constantly falling was purposely placed with him because he was so cognizant and could notify nursing. Rails and any restraints are no-nos everywhere now. Falls are so frequent, and were so bad with this gentleman that cushy rubber pads were placed on either side of the bed.

Do update us, and I wish you luck.
Helpful Answer (11)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2023
This situation creates stress for residents like your brother.

Great suggestion that it would be better if the OP could have their own private room.
(1)
Report
This is so sad. I’m so sorry this is happening. I would be upset too.

Are you a permanent resident of this place or are you in rehab?

You have complained about the situation. The only thing that I can think of is writing a letter to the ombudsman in your area.

Best wishes to you and your roommate.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
ElizabethAR37 Jul 2023
I agree that this is a terrible and upsetting situation as presented. OP may be in a somewhat vulnerable position herself depending on her own circumstances, but I certainly hope that there is a way to improve conditions for her and for her very unfortunate roommate. Stories like this can partially explain why older adults and their families can be reluctant to consider placement even when it is clearly needed. It would seem that the care in OP's NH could definitely be improved.
(4)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter