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My mother has been with me for 7 years and now she said she cannot stay with me anymore, because she thinks my husband wants to kill her ,she didn't say she hearing voices ,just wake up in the morning and ask my husband why are you disturbing me at night please leave me alone . and says my husband spray something in her food that is why she had serious stomach pain, that he spray in her bed ,shoes , cloths. that when she put on the cloths her body icheses sometimes she ask me to try the clothe on ,so I can believe what she is saying I know something is wrong but what I really want to help her ,she left my place and when back to Africa ,I was told she lose more weight and cannot hear very well. insisting that she saw my husband spraying on her .she saw a watch by her bed and said my husband put a knife to kill her,since she donot want to come to my place I am thinking of how to convince her so she can come see her doctor. I told her we are sorry my husband is not going to spray anymore she told the did had been do because she is very sick now. She said the spay is very powerful that the doctors cannot noticed she is so convinced that husband is responsible for all her sick ,she stay indoors most of the time even in after she is always indoors.

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Has your Mom been tested for an urinary tract infection? For an elder, getting a UTI can cause a lot of strange behaviors.
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yes she did and it was ok. thanks for your answer
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You didn't mention how old your mother is, but you should probably take her to the doctor and explain what's going on. I've taken care of my aunts and mother, and both of my aunts started to have hallucinations before they passed as a part of their decline. My mother has anxiety, so her doctor prescribed an anti-anxiety pill that is very mild, but it helps her sleep and eases her mind. When she doesn't take it, I can tell right away. I am finding that she is still misinterpreting things others say and do, and it is due in part to her advanced age (she's almost 90). The best you can do is consult her doctor. I wish you the best.
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Sometimes noises and sights are misunderstood due to problems with vision and hearing and the person struggling to interpret what they are seeing and hearing. This is particularly the case if the person has dementia. Other causes might be infections but it sounds like maybe she has seen a doctor already to exclude this. You say that she has already gone back to Africa but you want her to come back to stay with you? Who is looking after her in Africa? Does she have any past history of mental illness? Some mental illnesses do cause visual and auditory hallucinations. 76 is still relatively young but people can have dementia at quite young ages and in the early stages it can be difficult for family members to recognise. It sounds like this may be a possibility as well. It would be good if she could have a full assessment from her doctor, an elder care physician especially will be used to dealing with the complex issues faced by the older patient which may be the root of what your mother is experiencing.
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If it is not a UTI. It could be the beginnings of a Dementia or alzheimer's stages. Take your Mother to a Geriatric/Family Doctor. Whatever it is, you both need to know. Also, keep in mind, the elderly patient tries to hide what is going on with them and may not tell you. My Mother-In-Law received a Dementia diagnosis well before we found out. Depending on the person, they can hide illness for a long time.
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The OP's mother is 76.

She has suffered severe stomach pain. Her skin itches. She has lost weight. She is apparently also suffering delusions which lead her to believe that the OP's husband has been plotting to kill her in various ways. These are all very distinct clinical signs of there being something seriously, medically wrong.

Destiny, you say your mother has "gone back to Africa" - where is she now, and where are you?

If your mother really believes that her ailments are the result of your husband's (imaginary) actions, it will be difficult to get her to a doctor because she will have no confidence that the doctors can do anything for her. But would she perhaps listen to a responsible pastor or minister, who would tell her firmly that first of all she needs to find out what trouble is being caused in her body so that the best way to deal with it can be worked out?
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Dehydration can cause such things. Even when we "think" the loved one is hydrated, they may not be. My husband experienced this [Dec.2015] and after giving him Gatorade, within a few hours he was coming out of it. Amazing how the body works. My husband has been fighting Alzheimer's for over 5 yrs now. I still have him on a watered down amount of Gatorade every day! God Bless you all......
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Paranoia is typical of some forms of dementia.
She should be evaluated and tested.
Medications for the paranoia can help with some forms of dementia but in others some medications can be problematic so is it important to get an accurate diagnosis.
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Destiny, my mother experienced similar hallucinations and delusions which signaled the onset of her dementia. She has Lewy Body Dementia which is characterized by hallucinations and other symptoms in the early stages. My mom also lost quite a bit of weight. She really needs to be seen by a medical provider and get evaluated. Hopefully, you can convince her to come back to the States? Please keep us posted.
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Yes, as Churchmouse says, see if a trusted pastor or other friend can convince her of need to get fully checked out w doctors -- geriatricians -- who are skilled at understanding signs of dementia. It comes across as symptoms of dementia -- paranoia, delusions, anxiety, also depression. This can be caused by brain diseases like Alzheimer's and Lewy Body Dementia, but also vascular dementia and other dementia's from bodily issues. Look up dementia symptom's and alzheimer's association. As others said, there are some drugs that may help these symptoms. Weight loss could also mean cancer. I hope you will be able to help her whether here or afar.
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Bring her to the doc and check for a UTI asap
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Obviously Your por Mother is very unwell, and You have confirmed it is not a UTI therefore I would suggest You go to Your Mothers GP and the Dr will make an appointment for Your Mother to be examined by a Geriatrition.
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Your mother is displaying symptoms of dementia and needs to be evaluated by a neurologist specializing in dementia/geriatrics. These are common delusions of people whose brains cannot decipher correct signals.
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Since I am dealing with dementia/Alzheimer's with my mom. Those symptoms are common and often times due to a UTI. She doesn't have a UTI, but you didn't say if she had been diagnosed with any type of dementia at this point. But as others have said, you do need to seek medical help for her. At least then you will know what is going on and perhaps help her with some medications to calm down the symptoms. Often times after mom first moved in with me, I wouldn't tell her where we were going until we got to the doctor's office. She hated having to see the doctor. Good luck with your mom. You are stronger than you think. Listen to your gut, it has a way of steering you in the right direction. Remember to take care of yourself so that you CAN help your mom.
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Your mother may or may not be suffering from dementia. However, elderly people are being abused by others who know that if the elder reports the abuse noone will believe them...making them the perfect target. Your mother may have gone back to Africa because she couldn't take the abuse from your husband...worth looking into.
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Dearie I agree that elderly people are more vulnerable to abuse precisely because, as you say, they are sometimes automatically disbelieved; but in this case? The magic invisible undetectable Death Spray? Mistaking a watch for a knife?

I agree, too, that it's worth checking that she isn't allergic or sensitive to things like laundry detergent, air fresheners and so on; but I wouldn't be too quick to interrogate my husband purely on the basis of what's been described.
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If she has Dementia this is part of the disease for many people. My Mom saw strange things and thought there were people in her room as well. Have her checked out by a doctor. There are mobile doctors who will come to you if she won't leave the house.
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Does your mother have any previous mental illness? Does she have Parkinson's Disease? It sounds like she is having a delusion about your husband. These kind of fixed, fairly organized delusions can be an indication of several things going on in her brain. The only way you will know what is going on s to have her medically evaluated. Cultural beliefs can also be at play here, and it is important to be sensitive to these.
I would be concerned about her care in Africa as there can be little understanding or treatment available. Her symptoms of stomach pain and skin itching could be symptoms of liver or kidney disease.
She just really needs a very complete medical work up.I think that without this we are all just guessing, as she gets increasing ill. Maybe if you just acknowledge her concerns about being poisoned ( "Yes I know you are worried about that." Or "Those thoughts sound scary".) and then focus on her pain and itching as a reason to see the doctor she would be more likely to go to the doctor.
You are a loving daughter, and I hope you can get the help you need for your Mom. I hope this is helpful.
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I agree with the previous comments, that it is important to get her to a doctor. That would be the first step. The itching and stomach pains, may need to be checked out. My Grandmother had dementia and live with my Aunt and Uncle. She thought my Aunt was trying to poison her and wouldn't eat anything, my Aunt cooked for her. My step-father also had dementia and complained of abdomen pain. He wouldn't go to the doctors and later found out it was cancer. These are just my experiences, that's why medical attention for your Mother is important to begin to help her. Also, if she's on medication they can cause a change in behavior. Good luck and God Bless you all.
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My mom is 90, and has had a similar experience and it was determined that she had a bladder infection, once that cleared up she was okay. This has happened several times.
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I really can't add much since everyone has said such helpful things. I just want to say my heart goes out to you and I know you must have suffered so much during these accusations and then her leaving, only to be told she is still losing weight.
My mom started having auditory hallucinations about 6 years ago: a man singing horribly which morphed into a quartet, a big band and now a really bad small group. She would say my husband was playing loud music at night to torment her. She even would wake me up in the middle of the night and say, "don't you hear it?". I would get very upset at first but that was my own fears then I realized that it wasn't as bad as it could easily have been. I even got to laugh because some she liked (the quartet and the big band) and I was grateful that if you had to listen, every night, to music at least it was good. Lol.
What you have been through is terrible. I hope & pray that she can be helped and you can have peace. Luv & hugs
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Has your mother had her hearing tested? If so, and she has a hearing loss, does she wear hearing aids?

If she hasn't had a hearing test, or if she has a known hearing loss and does not wear hearing aids, this is an important step in figuring out the issue. Untreated hearing loss could be the root cause of these symptoms and significantly increases the risks of developing dementia, and can make existing mental issues worse faster. Hearing loss can also mimic many of the symptoms of dementia/alzheimers, so any time a dementia issue is suspected, one of the first steps should be to have a thorough hearing examination. Treating a hearing loss is significantly easier and less costly than treating dementia.
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Mother had a problem 2 nights ago. She is in a Personal Care Facility. She had just had blood work where a UTI would show up but didn't. She is seeing a Dr.'s assistant tomorrow. She is unusually tired. Today Mother napped about 1 hour and then got up and wanted to go for a ride. She is thinking straight again. I used to make sure Mother drank at least 28 ounces of fluids per day, plus another 8 ounces if possible. We kept track of fluids in a measuring cup putting an equal amount of water in the cup as she consumed any beverage. She has had Nurses Aids at night and they did not keep track. We also dropped the ball. Mother does not like drinking fluids. She had a tough time with change to Personal Care from Independent Living and it is harder to keep her spirits up. There were two Government Agencies for the elderly that were brought in to this adjustment time. Their work made some improvements. It is difficult to keep track of fluids when their is chaos. Thank you for bringing this topic up. God Bless
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Africa? Maybe it's voodoo. I'm not being funny, in the course of my work experience, I have come across people who believe in it. And they still do, of course! I just saw a horrid documentary featuring a witch doctor in orange polyester pants smoking a pack o' Marlboros. Putting the hoodoo voodoo on someone. It's a real thing - if you believe it, you experience it.
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It could be a number of things. A urinary track infection can cause all kinds of hallucinations and delusions. It could be dementia or something else. She does need to see her doctor. If you feel that you can't talk to the doctor with her in the room (I could not with my Mother) have the nurse take her out to do something like weight, height, etc to give you some time with the doctor to tell what is going on. The doctor needs to know about this behavior. If ignored it will only get worse and be dangerous for her and you!
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My Mom had dramatic weight loss in her last 2 years. Her internist kept saying everything was old age. I dont have an answer for you, but wanyed to share my experience. My Mom passed away 3 weeks ago. It is easier to be objective now and look back on Moms healrh. I was her live in caretaker for the last 17 months . We lost my younger brother 16 months ago. My Mom went downhill fast after that. She said that i was trying to kill her, that my sons were trying to kill her. We knew it wasn't in anyway true, but it hurt and scared me. Eventually she just quit thinking it. I have no idea why, but she was finally diagnosed with Alzheimers a few months before she passed. I found myself getting irritated with her, but God laid it on my heart to talk to and treat her like a young child. Im so grateful that I did! My Mom had many health issues : diabetes, congestive heart failure, afib, 2 time breast cancer survivor, macular degeneration, you get the picture. I pray that the doctors can help heal your mother and give her the peace that passes all understanding. Please also pray for me, I am devestated, but grateful she has everlasting joy and happiness and peace now.
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The weight loss and itching might be diabetes.
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Dear Monkeydoo, please accept my condolences. I am so happy that you know where your mom is and have peace with that but I do understand how hard it is on our hearts. I will pray for you. I tried to send you a hug but couldn't get it to work lol
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Thanks for all the answers its would help.i have to try my best to bring her back so she can see her doctor.i think she is not well ,is not suffering from abused,she used to get so well with my husband, before she would always prefer to go to her Gp with my husband not me.
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My condolence monkeydoo .may her soul rest in perfect peace,iwould pray for you.God bless
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