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As of right now, they only thing we could do for the dog is to get rid of it. Send him off to a good home. Unfortunately, he is not our dog, he is the grandfather's and he would never agree so my fiancee and I try to get it out of the house and into the fresh air and also to the vet's as much as possible. The dog is actually healthy despite his living conditions and the vet sees no physical or behavioural problems with the dog whatsoever. He did warn us that animal neglect was a problem and we should look into an alternative to the grandfather keeping his dog locked up all day. One thing at a time. This is a really messed up situation. As I said, my fiancee stepped out of love, and had no idea what he was getting into or how to handle it. It's hard to change 10 years in just a week. That's why I came to this site to seek advice from those in similar situations. The story is 100% real although it probably would make for a good book.
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lol ! I think jeannegibbs hit the nail on the head. This story sure sounds like a soap opera to me. You have to be very level headed to have gleaned all that wisdom from this web site. Are you for real??? You seem to have all the right answers now. Good Luck and God Bless.....Give the dog a hug for me.
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Well, I am sorry that so many people find a very serious situation to be of great soap opera like entertainment. But the reality is, not only family members and spouses have the responsibility of caring for a loved one. And I think that it is pretty sad when somebody comes to a message board full of caregivers to vent and seek advice at the same time and has to deal with taunts and criticism. I am 22, give me a break! I am not born knowing how to deal with such a situation. I read each and every comment and with each one, I gained some perspective and saw really good advice. I am pretty wise on my own and could tell I was going to deal with some backlash but to be mocked? That is pretty low. My story is authentic and I have seen other people here with quite similar stories. And it wasn't about how much knowledge I took in, it was what people were relaying to me about being more understanding and thinking about MY future and stepping off my finacee in the meantime. I don't think that gives way for anyone to try and discredit my character. Why would I waste time making up such stories? Is it so hard to believe two people could meet and fall in love and one forgets to mention his grandfather is a little more odd than most? But if being a great story teller or soap opera is what is going to get me some advice then so be it. I am probably the youngest person here and as I said, I have not opened up to these problems with my family or friends so I have nobody else to really turn to. Guess that offends some people here....
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How do you think grandpa would respond if he was told that he may have to live in a nursing home (or the like) if he doesn't change some things. Or maybe you and his grandson will move if he doesn't change his behavior? He may be very depressed at the loss of his wife or maybe you should ask the children why they want nothing to do with thier father? Seems strange that you soon to be husband does not know the answer to this. Maybe dementia is setting in?
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His children and grandchildren are all very nasty from what I hear.The only relatives still active in his life are my fiancee and his sister. We are not moving out because of his behaviour. We are moving out because we want to be married and have kids. We can't do that living in the grandfather's home. And he doesn't HAVE to go to a nursing home. I posted the story so I could find out from others if a nursing home setting might be necessary for the grandfather. If he chooses to live alone, I want to know he will be safe. That is all. :) I hope we will be able to get an evaluation on him soon to find out what is going on.
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My dad was over 40 (and my mom, too) when both my brother and I were born and my husband was over 40 when our child was born. None of us have Trisomy 21 (Down's). As an older parent, I know a lot of dads who are older than 40 and none of the children have Trisomy 21. Yes, there is an increase in Down's, but not enough to worry about it that much. Even with more of us moms waiting until we are in our late 30's and 40's, the chances are still not as great. Many women used to have the last children their 40's and it was not all that common for a child to be born with Trisomy 21.
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And the saga goes on and on and on. There are no guarantees in life.
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That was a great start, stl. I was married to a man with thousands of empty promises and after 30yrs I finally gave up on him. Don't let that happen to you. Set a reasonable time limit for all these things to happen and stick to it.
My best to you.
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Whoa, stl. Please review the answers in a calmer frame of mind. I don't see anyone taunting or ridiculing you. If you are an aspiring writer I think you have used a very creative way to do some research. As far as I'm concerned, no harm done. I have not expressed outrage or offense. All of my answers to you have been entirely sincere. I think that is what you are getting from other posters -- sincere responses to the situation you describe. It is very easy for people to misrepresent themselves on the Internet, as you very well know, and if a few of us have a degree of skepticism that does not constitute taunting or ridicule.

Your story has been taken seriously and you've gotten a lot of different perspectives and advice. Be happy.
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I agree with jeannegibbs,I didn't see anything wrong in her, or anyone elses comments. Everyone has been more than gracious helping out I think.
I understand its a bad situation, but I also feel bad for the grandfather. Oh I so don't want to get old ! No matter how much work, I have my Mom with me forever, and thank God my husband understands. We make he best of it, it could be us, or a child, regardless we take them in and love them.
best of luck to you.
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