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So I took Mom to 2 physicians and they both agreed that she is not doing well with home care and needs higher level therapy. She’s just a bit past the window of 30 days discharge, but the case manager said, “If they go by what the doctors are saying here, she may get in.”


I have been reading that some patients can be admitted to a SNF from home, based on the need, and one of the doctors indicated that her safety and ongoing health is at risk if she does not get qualified help, at which point he turned to me and said, “And your daughter ISNT IT.”


She is being stubborn now, was prescribed medication for pain and to help take the edge off, but she refuses to give up her nightly glass of wine, so trying to get better is out the window. I told her if a SNF is out of the question then the caregiver has to be here 24/7 and your finances will plummet. I am not cleaning out your bedside toilet every day, I told her. “Oh we’ll talk about that later. I’m too tired and this is too much for me right now.” Legally I can say I warned her.


I’m going to need hospitalization myself if I don’t get out from under this.


Thanks as always for listening. I feel like I’m among friends here.

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(((((((hugs))))))). So glad the doc is on your side!
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Did the doctors complete a form and sign it that says what qualifies her for long term care? Are they basing their opinion on mental, physical or a combination of them for her need of care? Are they saying she needs SNF or AL?
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Yes, they both agreed that her physical condition precludes her overall health from improving - she is immobile without assistance, needs to regain strength and stamina to walk again, and there is no qualified help at home to provide the type of skilled services to get her back to where she was. I explained to the case manager the other day that we do not anticipate a long term stay, and the overall goal is to get her back home and live independently. Two physicians both agree skilled nursing or sub acute rehab is necessary for her. The half hour 1x a week physical and occupational therapy she was getting at home was not enough to get her out of a wheelchair. Plus she needs speech and swallowing therapy after her upper GI procedure when she was in the hospital. We tried at home - well, I TRIED at home, and she's just not recovering. Neither am I. This is one of the worst depression days I've ever had in my life.
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If she's competent, it's her call if she chooses to get rehab. If she's not, then her refusal to get help and languish could be considered self-neglect. I'd get a legal opinion from an Elder Law attorney about the options.
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She wants to go. She truly wants to work harder at getting well, it’s just a matter of who’s paying for it, either Medicare, or herself on her own.

Her languishing is also self-imposed, I know this, and I am wishing on every Medicare star that they say yes she can be admitted. There’s a very nice one that a friend of hers stayed at and they treated her extremely well. I will probably need a rehab of another kind once she goes in.
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That's great news Hotflash! I hope things work out for her and you.
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