My dad has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The docs just all it old age and wanting to remain in control but it is giving me high blood pressure. On most things and most of the time he is fine. Good conversations about the weather, the holdays, MD appointments... but then my 92 yr old dad gets things hooked in his mind and won't let go. for example he has gotten hooked on the fraudulent sweepstake scams and has lost thousands. He sends the bank these scam checks from the sweepstakes which they do not deposit. He claims the bank is cheating him and goes and closed out his acct and changes bank. I change it back (with his permission. I have POA) The bank is somewhat cooperative with me but say that until he is in a conservatorship they have to do what he requests. For years he had a blanket on his bedroom wall I was told there was a hole in the wall. He finally allowed us to clean up his room. Throw out boxes of sweepstake crap clean the carpet...and take down the blanket. He now feels that he repaired the hole in the wall and the apartment owner should give him the deed to the unit as a condo. (they were for sale a few years ago.) This type of behavior is constant. As well as being determined to correct old business deals gone bad for 30, 40, 50 years. He call a taxi and spend $$ on attorneys... The problem I have is all the rest of his behavior is normal. Yep he cataracts and wears hearing aids.
How do I deal with poor judgment and stubborn behavior? It's not alzheimers but it is getting me sick. He now wants me off his bank account. Has anyone else had this problem? He lives at home with my mom who is ill. A sister see them daily and helps with groceries, food... She is my mom's advocate and I am my dad's. Pleae advise!
Your dad should have a complete workup. There are medications that can help slow the decline if he has dementia. His poor judgment is an indication that something may be wrong.
I'd find geriatrician, if you can. This person would have a better understanding of the tests needed. If you can't get him in with one of those (too rare) specialists, try a neurologist and say you'd like testing done including a Mini Mental State exam and a PET or other brain scan.
Good luck. These scams would raise anyone's blood pressure.
Carol
Best wishes, as this is a difficult situation, and there are no easy solutions. We are caring for three, and still fighting to find the help they need. I can emphatize with you though, as our loved ones were/are victims of scams and poor judgement, as well.
My mom who is going down the dementia road has given me enduring power of attorney. I have her checkbooks (all credit cards are cancelled) and I have spoken to the bank where Mom used to deal. A note has been put on my mom's file that the most Mom can take out in cash without the bank consulting me (if someone should take her to the bank) is $200. This was done so that someone couldn't sweet talk Mom into taking out hundreds of dollars to give away. Since Mom is no longer at the address she was at a month ago, her forwarding address has not been given to the post office. Instead, all mail is being directed to my address. This way I can deal with, besides her regular bills, all the charity mailouts that used to fill her mailbox each week and I give her letters and cards from friends each time I see her. Do you think you could have all your parents' mail redirected to your house? I am not saying this will work for you and your dad but, if you think there's a possibility, go for it as, believe me, the sense of relief feels good. My sisters and I believe we are pretty much in control of our situation with Mom
now and that we will be able to protect her from scam artists.
I don't believe for a minute that your father is just exhibiting signs of "old age". There is definitely something going wrong and to me, it sounds like dementia. His stubbornness and poor judgment sound like symptoms to me (unless he has ALWAYS been this stubborn and has always shown poor judgment). My mother, too, has lucid times when she can discuss things like the weather etc. but then she forgets, for instance, that she asked me five minutes ago how my children are doing so she asks me again and again. This on again, off again ability to think straight seems to be part and parcel of dementia. I have noticed this behaviour amongst all of the old folks I visit with who suffer from dementia. My dad, who died from cancer when he was 87, exhibited NONE of the signs your dad or my mom exhibit but this was because, although he was old, he did not suffer from dementia. Good luck in finding a doctor who believes your dad is not just "behaving old". And good luck with being POA for your dad. He knew what he was doing at one time to give you this job but now that he is not thinking straight, he will fight you. Stay strong. I hope your sister will stand with you. Kindest regards.