Follow
Share

My father (with whom I have had a strained relationship for most of my life) has dementia and can no longer use his phone or email. For 30 years my brothers and I had a great relationship with my step-mother. In the last 5-6 years, however, it has deteriorated to the point that none of us can speak to her -(in my case, at the advice of a medical professional). We seriously suspect that she is mentally ill. I do not believe that she is mistreating my father, but I know that he would qualify for in- home help but she does not follow through with getting it (per my stepsister). Is there anything my siblings can do to maintain a relationship with my father? How do we get her to accept outside help so that the quality of both their lives would improve (and maybe she would be a decent human again)?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Call APS. Adult protective services . Or your local Agency of Aging . . If you father needs care and the wife is being an obstacle for that , I think that’s elder abuse . Or She may have dementia as well and does not recognize that they need help .
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

I agree. Call CPS and report your dad as vulnerable elder whose wife might be mentally ill and is not allowing your dad to have adequate care.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

How do you know she doesn't in fact also have dementia, if she's close in age to your Dad? Has she had a cognitive test by a doctor? Can you ask her daughter to do this, to discount dementia and any other causes of her behavior, like a UTI, etc.? Before taking action it would help to have an accurate diagnosis. Who is her PoA? Who is your Dad's?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Curious, did Dads Dementia show up 5 or 6 yrs ago? Maybe she is not a caregiver and is overwhelmed. Maybe she feels his children should be of some help. Maybe like suggested, she too has Dementia. She needs a good physical.

She also needs to know she can't do this alone. Depending on her age, maybe a good time for Dad to be placed. She needs to see an elder lawyer about have their assets split. Dads split going to his care and when almost gone, applying for Medicaid. At time he receives Medicaid, SM remains in the home, gets 1 car, and enough of their monthly income to live on.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter