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I think there are many in-person opportunities in our community to volunteer, but I'm trying to avoid a sitter to watch Mom while I go out. We have to private pay for everything and I plan to spend money only when Mom is fully bed-ridden.



I work in a school for 4 hours with special ed preschoolers and then do Target runs. Beyond that, it seems my life has no meaning at all. I'm also an empty nester mom.



My in-laws watch my mom when I work and do the Target runs because they are essential things. I don't want to take advantage of their goodness and keep running out of the house to volunteer.



Are there Zoom volunteer opportunities? Unlike some of my friends, I don't sing, dance, paint, write... so there's no opportunity to meet other people or do something worthwhile.

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Weary, her health insurance will pay for hospice. My sister had BCBS and they paid everything.

If mom wants to seek treatment for anything then hospice isn't really an option.

You can talk with her doctor about her eligibility for services.
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Thank you all for the suggestions -- I will look into them.
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wearynow: Perhaps you can ask your town's COA (Council on Aging).
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Utilize Hospice Volunteers to give you a break!
you can put your mom on Hospice n have loads of help! Don’t get caregiver burn out!! Hospice is usually paid for by Ins n Medicare. There is also Respite Care where she can go to the unit for a week!
look into it!
Also look into Veteran’s Benefits if her spouse or she served in the War.
Good luck! I’m beginning my journey taking care of my mom!!
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wearynow May 2022
But doesn't mom need to be really "dying" to get hospice? She's still somewhat functional. Anyway she doesn't get Medicare since she has not worked here. I got her from India when she couldn't live alone there
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You might want to meet with an Elder Law Attorney to figure out when your mom will qualify for Medicaid and how she can pay down to that goal (e.g., prepaid funeral expenses, etc.).

I have read about some facilities that offer "respite" programs for caretakers to take a break. Not sure if they have drop in care.
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Can you get a baby cam. That way maybe you can go out but still watch her.
There is opportunity to go out. Go to meetup.com and find local meetups. I used to belong to a great women's group to meet up to do all sorts of fun things like dinner, dancing, bowling, zip line, putt putt golf, pot lucks to hang out and chat etc. Anything we could come up with. A person would suggest it and we would do it. We had a core group of women, then other ladies would come and go based on their interests and time. There were some who just wanted to do dinner, or drinks and dancing, or pot lucks. Was diff each time.
You can start your own group based on whatever you like. You could even do a meetup via zoom and have dinner & chat. Coffe & chat etc. Meet new people. Whatever your imagination comes up with.
Good luck.
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I love Soldiers' Angels!! https://soldiersangels.org/
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The "no end in sight" is how I feel everyday. If you lived near me I'd suggest we go out to the lake, watch the sunset over the water, and share our most bizarre dementia experiences and laugh until our faces hurt. I know I've become a total bore because my life revolves around this sick, strange person who used to be my mom.
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BorderPuppies May 2022
Debstarr53
OMG I would love to do that too! I'd love to laugh about these strange experiences, just like you have, with someone who used to be my mom, too.
(I'm in California)
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Try www.volunteermatch.org. You can create a free account or just look for opportunities both live and virtual.
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Hello Wearynow! Glad you checked back in with the forum. Not sure where you are located but our local Senior Citizen Center has loads of info on a program that handles friendly daily phone calls to seniors who live alone. The county library also has a program that involves the same type of thing. The state dept of health can put you in contact with a group that gives phone support to people who are domestic crisis. Hopefully you can find something that interest you in those agencies but sometimes those situations are stressful so I'm not sure how much of those situations you can take but sometimes no way to tell until you test the waters.

Good Luck!!
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www.7cups.com is a global hotline, volunteers will connect with people who need emotional support and someone to talk to. Free training!
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Give a call to your state's Office on Aging. A lot of the work is done by volunteers. They need a variety of people. Anything from filing papers to counselors to distributing pamphlets to being a "booth babe" to people just following up on questions. The added advantage is that you will learn about Medicare, health regulations, insurance, social security, fraud etc. The Sheriff's office and the Police Department need volunteers too. So does the Zoo. Like anything else, your interest and success in these volunteer positions are highly dependent upon the Volunteer Coordinators, the setup of the volunteer programs and your tolerance for the work.

If the first one doesn't work out, try, try again.
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For me, hoping to be useful on this site is probably my own version of what you are looking for (with DH’s input when the questions involved equipment engineering).
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Thank you, ArtistDaughter,Geaton777,isthisrealyreal, for your suggestions and feedback. Something will work out for me, Im hoping:-))
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poodledoodle May 2022
Hi! Only a suggestion: you’re already doing so much for others; so much giving. You really want to volunteer, do even more?

It’s only a suggestion: instead, do great things for yourself. For example, start writing a novel? Learn new recipes? Learn how to play a new instrument? The piccolo?

If the point of volunteering is to meet other people, start a new hobby and then join an online group? But let it be an activity that helps your life. You already help others enough :).

Time to focus on you :).
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The thing about online meetings, volunteering, zooming with friends, whatever, it eventually feels an unsatisfying way to communicate, for me anyway. After covid restrictions lifted, it was so great to be back in the classroom with students. There really is no substitute. When a person already feels isolated, being in person for activities is best. However, if you feel you would be okay online volunteering, what about chatting with people who are in assisted living, memory care facilities, or nursing homes, and do not have family visiting, and including your mom in the chats? Some former caregivers might love the freedom once the burden is lifted, but I miss the stories from the people I met in the care facilities, and now that Mom is gone, I volunteer to talk with one old guy who has no other visitors. After what I've learned about the needs of elders through Mom's journey, I can't think of anything more worthwhile, but I do understand needing a completely different kind of task. Do you have a Senior Center? In my city there are in person and online classes on so many topics. You could meet the other students virtually and perhaps strike up some great friendships.
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Maybe instead of using precious "mom-sitting" time from your in-laws on Target runs, order things online and have them delivered. If that costs money, maybe make an arrangement with some neighbors for them to pick-up items for you (you'd be amazed how people are willing to help if only they were given specific tasks).

Have you called your local area's Agency on Aging to see if any local organizations offer adult day care at a lower cost, like some church's might? I'm not sure they spend the money to advertise it but I know it exists as a thing.

Another great resource is Nextdoor.com because it's an intranet of your actual neighbors and people in the slightly wider community. Ask them if they know of online volunteer programs or good adult day cares. I wish you all the best!
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Weary, in my city we have a program that is called "friendly calling".

It is set up so that seniors that live alone, get a wellness call and social connection daily.

I would contact the counsel on aging, they probably know if this is available and who runs it.
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Geaton777 May 2022
What an excellent idea for a program!
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