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My mom closed her Bank account and put her money in my savings account to pay for her care which was 6 thousand a month if there was any left she wanted me to have it for taking care of her for many years before going to a wonderful board and care where she had the best of care their is some money left is that money now mine I do have brother who she hasn't seen in 27 years and has had no contact with her do I have to give him anything as the money has been in my name in my savings account for many years so I could pay all her bills and taxes on her house she has she owes no one any money upon her death

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Speak with a lawyer. As you know, what’s important is what the will says.

No will? There can be a problem.

Does the will say everything should go only to you? Then, it looks like no problem, but it can still be a problem. Was your mom unduly influenced by you when she wrote her will?

Does the will say, split equally between you and brother? It can be a problem.

What’s the problem?
You might need to prove that your mother really gave you that money before she died. What if you just took the money and put it in your account? That’s called stealing. What if you pressured your mom? That’s called undue influence and it’s illegal.

A lot of people steal money from their elderly LO, while the LO is alive, and say, “The LO gave it to me.”
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newbiewife Jul 2023
I agree that if there's a will the executor has to abide by the terms of the will. But if the money was given by the mom many years ago and has been in the OP's bank account a long time, it would not be part of the mom's estate. We're not talking about a recent transfer or gift, so I don't think the OP could in any any way be accused of "stealing" from a vulnerable elder. If there's no will, state laws determine who the heirs are, most likely the spouse (if any) and/or the children. Even in that case, I think the money remaining in this bank account would belong to the OP since it's been in her name for a long time and was being used for mom's care. But of course it's best to consult a lawyer.
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“But if the money was given by the mom many years ago and has been in the OP's bank account a long time, it would not be part of the mom's estate.”

It doesn’t matter. Stealing is still stealing, even if it happened years before death.

If it was in fact stolen, the money would have been part of the estate.

The important thing to know is, was the money stolen, or really given by the mom (without any undue influence).
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2023
@venting

You are mistaken. There is such a thing as Statute of Limitations on some things where the law is concerned.

If the money has been in the OP's bank account for years and before the mother was in a care home, who can prove that the mother did not of her own free will and being of sound mind, give that money over herself?
People have a right to spend and give their money and possessions as they choose when they are of sound mind and have not been declared legally incompetent in a court of law.

So really, if it was years ago, that is not a part of the estate. If actual theft can't be proved (and it's probable that there is none) then certainly there's a Statute of Limitations if time has gone by.

Also, who's going to dispute it? The brother no one saw for 27 years?

Do you know how probating an estate works? No one had to track anyone down. The send a notice to the heir(s) last known address and the court usually waits 30 days. If they make no claim the court settles the estate. They also post it the estate on the docket of the probate court as it is public knowledge. That's all they do
If no claimants come out of the woodwork, they miss out and if the OP is the only next of kin who comes forward, they inherit whatever remains in the estate.

This is how estates and probate court works. They are not criminal courts. They do not have the resources to investigate whether or not the mother gave the money over years ago. It's no concern of theirs.
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If the money is in OPs account there is no estate. I doubt the brother will even be heard from again.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
“If the money is in OPs account there is no estate.”

That’s right, but if that money was actually stolen by OP, it should have been in the estate.
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Hmm.

How much money?
What about the house?

It is a pity that your mother did not make her wishes plain in a will. Her assets, including presumably the house as well as money which remained her property during her life (whichever account it was kept in), form her estate; and if she did not make a will that estate now needs to be distributed according to law.

Look. If it's a small amount of money, and sorting out the admin would cost more than is left in the account, then probably no one will know or care. But seeing you're worried enough about it to wonder... if I were you, I'd get proper professional advice about it.

To avoid feeling hard done by, remember you're not "giving" your brother anything. If he's entitled to inherit, that's that. It's the law. Don't be tempted to put yourself in the wrong.
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As CM points out, the bigger issue is the house.

Have you looked into the laws in mom's state on what the rules are when one dies without a will?

Or did she perhaps put the house in your name?

I very much think that this is worth a consult with a lawyer who deals with estates. That is certainly a legitimate use of the money your mom left in your account.

If you think about it, it seems a far better thing to do to deal with this issue upfront, with legal advice rather than from the defensive position of "mom gave it to me", "you weren't in contact" and "I did all the work, I deserve it".

Take the high ground. See a lawyer.
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TopsailJanet Jul 2023
There is no mention that there even was a house. She was in a board and care home.
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No one would care about that small amount of money. Keep it. My mother and I had a joint account and she also had another account where she paid the bills. I gave dad his house back, transferred all of his bills back into his name, gave him the keys back to the house and that was the end of it. I went to visit my younger sister and had closed out that account. I bought her new clothing for her new home since we hadn't really been buying anything while living there. I didn't have anything either, so I just got a credit card to buy things I needed. We were strapped for cash for awhile once I moved into my apartment, but it was managable.

As for playing fair, that money would have ended up in dad's pockets which wasn't his or my greedy sister's purse. I kept that house running and took care of my sister for three years. My own money went into that house as well. My sister did nothing the entire time but stirred up trouble. Mom gave me the money with a look in her eyes like if all gets worse living here, move.

That is the problem with caretaking with minimal finances, you are sometimes living way below your means. Your mother gave you that money and word of mouth is just as good in my book. As for your brother of twenty-seven years, I wouldn't go digging him up. Let sleeping bones lie.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
“No one would care about that small amount of money.”

You don’t know whether it was a small amount of money. My guess is it was a lot of money.
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I think folks are being unusually harsh on the OP in suggesting they can be accused of stealing. Who is going to accuse them? There will be bank records showing how the money was being spent on mom's care and on maintenance of her house. And the OP makes no mention of whether there was or wasn't a will, and if there is one, who is the executor. Of course it would be much better if there is a will. And it might have been better to set up the bank account originally as joint with right of survivor, but to late for that now.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
It’s totally possible to be accused of stealing. There is no doubt OP used some of that money for mom’s care: that’s not the point. The point is the remaining money in OP’s account that came from mom’s account.

“Who is going to accuse them?”

For example the brother might. He might even do so in court. There are many examples of adult children (estranged from parents), who didn’t help at all in caring for their parents: BUT when the parent died, they suddenly want the MONEY, HOUSE, all of it; their inheritance. Some estranged adult children are even just waiting like a vulture for the parent to die: “MONEY, HOUSE!!!”

OP, as I said, you should see a lawyer.
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Were you her PoA or legal guardian? Did she make the deposit herself (she wrote out the check and signed it herself or did it at the bank with the help of a teller)?

I think a concern would be if your brother suddenly showed up and made some sort of fraud or mismanagement accusation. If your Mom left a Will that included an inheritance for your brother, he may become suspicious/greedy. If she left a Will, who is the executor? Did her estate go through probate? Did you inherit the house through her Will? Or did she put your name on the title before she passed?

You said the money was in there (your acccount) for many years, and out of this account you paid for her room and board facility, so there's a paper trail of where the money went and that's good.

Was all of the money transferred at once or in installments? Was it enough to require her to file federally for the gift tax? The limit in 2022 was $16K a year per person without tax exposure. The donor is responsible for paying the tax.

"The 2023 gift tax limit is $17,000. This amount, formally called the annual gift tax exclusion, is the maximum amount you can give a single person without reporting it to the IRS. If you gift more than this sum, you must file a federal gift tax return in 2024."

Source: https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/frequently-asked-questions-on-gift-taxes

This depends on:
The amount of the gift
Your lifetime exclusion limit
What state you live in

If the amount(s) exceeded the annual maximums and she didn't file any returns, maybe you should talk to an accountant or a tax attorney just so that you aren't blind-sided by something.
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You're saying that your mother's wishes were that if any of the money remained after her bills and expenses were paid up she wanted you to have it.

When did she start transfering money into your account? Were you her POA? This is a question that's going to come up because you can be accused of misappopriating funds (stealing). Also, POA expires when a person passes away.

Did your mother have a Will? You mention a house and paying the taxes on it. So your mother also owned real estate.
If she made out a Will, now would be a good time to look at it. You may not even be the Executor of it. You won't know unless you see it.
If she has a Will, this is a legal document. Any decisions to be made concerning her money or property will be based on her Will if she has one.
Your mother could have chosen in her Will to not cut your brother out. She may have put her wishes in writing for him to inherit also.
You have to probate her Will and any persons mentioned in it will have to be notified.
If your mother owed any creditors they will be allowed to put in a claim to her estate to be paid.

I hope for your sake she had a Will. In some states when there isn't one all assets, bank accounts, real estate, etc... get equally divided among the deceased's next of kin after all the bills owed are paid up. The bills always come first before the heirs. This means your brother and any other siblings you may have. If your mother was legally married to someone, in some states the spouse automatically and without question gets half of an estate. Even if they were estranaged from the deceased and regardless of how many children the deceased may have.

You have a lot of work to do. Look for a Will. If you don't know if she had one, the probate court can help you. Contact them. If she did have one, it has to be filed with the probate court because her state has to be legally settled by whomever is her Executor.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
“you can be accused of misappopriating funds (stealing).”

Exactly.
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Yes, if the money was in your account it shows as your property and does not fall into her estate.

I would consult a lawyer or 2 to ensure that the house, if it still exists, is handled according to state law.

I am so sorry for your loss. May The Lord lead, guide and direct you in this new season. May HE give you comfort and grieving mercies.
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Vickielee Jul 2023
Thank you so much iam glad someone on here is thinking about me and how hard it is to lose both your parents in a matter of a few years also my aunt who moved in to help me but got cancer and I ended up caring for her to thank you for not accusing me of stealing her money like so many on here thank you for your kind words it means a lot
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Rude Aunt, who made so much trouble for me over the care of my dad, was a beneficiary of dad's will. She is wealthy in her own right. I was his executor. She's a very angry person in general and *KNEW* that he had money hidden around the house. She was sure I must have taken it and not reported it in the listing of estate assets. She, age 89 at the time, filed a court case against me as executor. Of course it wasn't true, there was no money to steal, and the judge threw the case out of court. But it cost thousands of dollars to defend against it, which was exactly what she wanted. Oh yeah, and if I'd fed him mashed potatoes it would have cured his cancer. And dad used to appear to her in dreams and tell her not to let his kids get the business. Moral of the story: Be on guard. You never know what wacko things will surface when someone dies.
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Isthisrealyreal Jul 2023
You should have filed a counter suit with legal fees requested.
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At this point, since its been years since this was done, then the money is yours. Seems to me by Mom putting it in your savings she was telling you she wanted you to have it. What brother does not know, won't hurt him. If he comes looking for his inheritance tell him Mom spent all her money on her care and giving him money he never returned. Was she at anytime considered incompetent? If not, then she handled her money till her death. My MIL did. My BIL was her POA but didn't need to use it till she got sick. She was gone in a month.

I don't know how your brother will be able to prove there was any money. Twenty seven years is a long time. We have had a big inflation in the economy. My Mom did good on 1700 a month in 2014 but if she was alive today, she would not make it.

Don't worry about it. Don't tell anyone else what Mom did. Brother cannot expect anything after being estranged for 27 yrs. Again just say, the money is gone and the house was left to me in a Trust Mom set up because, I cared for her.
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“thank you for not accusing me of stealing”

I never accused you of stealing. I said, I suggest you see a lawyer.

You can be accused of stealing, for example by your brother in court. The more proof you have, the better: that your mom, without undue influence, gave you the money.

Anyone can say, “I was given the money, without undue influence.”

You might have to prove it, as much as you can.
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Isthisrealyreal Jul 2023
Venting, you might want to go back and read all of your posts on this thread.
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1- sorry for your loss
2-see an elder care / tax attorney or trusted tax accountant
3- was the money transferred to a joint account or your account only? The best I understand If joint, it’s yours as survivor. If your accountant only, you may have been required to report as a gift to the IRS
https://www.foley.com/en/insights/publications/2023/02/increased-gift-estate-tax-exemption-amounts-2023#:~:text=The%20gift%20tax%20annual%20exclusion%20is%20the%20amount%20you%20may,(%2434%2C000%20per%20married%20couple).


https://www.foley.com/en/insights/publications/2023/02/increased-gift-estate-tax-exemption-amounts-2023#:~:text=The%20gift%20tax%20annual%20exclusion%20is%20the%20amount%20you%20may,(%2434%2C000%20per%20married%20couple).
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