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Both of my parents are 90, and Dad has taken care of Mom at home for the last 13 years, with advanced Alzheimer's. Six weeks ago, on their 67th Anniversary, and two months after falling, breaking his spine, and making a remarkable recovery, Dad tumbled backwards down the stairs, landed on his head and incurred a major brain injury. He has been in hospitals and now rehabs ever since, and literally overnight he has become someone who himself will need 24/7 care and has the kind of dementia associated with brain trauma.

Our wish is to bring him home to Mom and provide for both of them what he provided for her for so long. How many aides, and in what configuration, do we need to do this? Live-in? Two 12-hour aides, 3 eight-hour? Different people on weekends? Mom can be left alone in a chair, because she can no longer get up by herself, and is often asleep. Dad can already get himself out of his wheelchair at the rehab, but doesn't understand that he can't walk on his own yet, so he will need to be watched constantly. If there was only one aide present and the aide had to change or clean Mom, Dad could be a danger to himself. Yet having two aides round the clock seems unnecessary. Has anyone figured out a good formula for this situation that won't require my wife and I to move in, but perhaps live nearby to keep an eye on the situation and manage things?

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Are you certain that bringing dad home will be what is best for him? Have you talked with the doctor regard post hospital living arrangements? There are some self employed caregivers on this site that could offer you some suggestions. There is a discussion thread where they sometimes congregate.
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yes at this point in time, we are sure, and the Brain Rehab staff agree with us. From all the facilities we have experienced with Mom and Dad over the years, nothing remotely compares to the quality of care Mom has received at home.
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This is based upon what I experienced (without any recommendations) : Live in was much less expensive than shift aides. The live in I hired (through an agency) was exhausted taking care of one person. Sometimes, you can find competent help (through word of mouth) to supplement other aides. It is usualy best to have some change over in aides in case your primary gets sick or has personal problems that require attention. If your folks qualify for hospice, that would bring additional help while the paid aide works with other parent. This will be a series of changes until you determine what works best for you and your parents. Stay flexible. Sometimes a companion can provide additional help at a lower cost than 2 aides. For example, a competent homemaker can come over and sit with one parent while the aide bathes and dresses the other parent. This is done while kids are in school. Good luck.
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