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My mother now lives with myself and my husband and has since last year after having a bad fall in her bath tub. I am her POA and also her Executor. I retired last November (before I planned) in order to give my Mother 24 hour care. Putting her in an assisted living home that would give her what she receives in my home would cost between $10-12 thousand a month in this area. Can I keep a record of what would be an acceptable monthly charge for her care and housing and charge it to her estate upon her death?

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Why would you do that when you should be compensated NOW? She should be contributing to the household bills, paying rent and compensating you for her care.
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You need to get it in writing and get paid now.

If mom doesn't agree you will have a difficult time getting any money after her death.

Contracts can not be retroactive so get this done now.
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You probably need to do some sort of contract; POA does not allow you to just do whatever you want and may only come in force once she is declared incompetent. Even if she allows you to handle her finances without question, a contract will spell out what was provided, cost etc. And then you need to collect the money as you go. In the event that caring for her at home becomes too difficult as she declines, this contract and financial accounting will aid you in documenting how her money was spent in the event that Medicaid needs to be put in place. You cannot perhaps see it now, but if she requires constant 24/7 care, not just supervision, it may become too difficult. Once her assets are spent, you could need to account to Medicaid what happened to her money during the 5 year look back.
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Have mom pay her expenses now. The estate is subject to her will and you most likely will not be allowed a bigger portion to cover her expenses after her death.
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Worried in Cali and Is This realy real have hit the nail on the head. This is something you do NOW; it will be utterly impossible to collect this after death.
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You can't charge expenses to something that's currently nonexistent.
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Where have we gone so wrong not willing to take care of our parents WITHOUT being paid. Your mom should already have signed her funds over to you anyway. Are our parents so stingy and resentful that they are taking their money to the grave before giving it to their own kids!?! With that off my chest I will tell you this.... Take her cash card and get what you need, within reason. Contact a lawyer about redistributing her funds so she can qualify for paid home care a d you can be the paid caregiver. Do NOT become her poa...that will disqualify you from getting paid. There came a time when I just took control
I didnt ask a demented old man (dad), I just did it. He KNOWS I did and he is ok with it. I also get aid to be his caregiver because Medicare pays for it. There are medicare programs that pay 1200 or more per month. I got hired on as a home health aid by some company and he is their client and I am the employee but they dont pay for beans. Call your local chapter of Care Source or Elder Care or which ever company is the liaison for Medicare in your community. Whew..I'm out of breath.....
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Dollie1974 Jun 2020
I am my mother’s DPOA as well as her Healthcare Proxy.
I found out from a Medicaid representative that I am not eligible to be my mother’s paid caregiver because I am her Healthcare Proxy (unless I decline to further be her Proxy).

What I can do for her (bc she has Vascular Dementia) is interview and hire a caregiver and get it paid through the State (if and when my mom is eligible for Medicaid). This is heartbreaking for me bc I left my job last year to take care of her myself only to find out now that once my savings runs out I need to go back to work, apply her for Medicaid and “learn” to comfortable with a stranger taking care of my most precious person.
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Cconsult an elder law attorney to evaluate how to do it relative to amount of her assets. This should not be done without professional advise. If she needs medicaid, the rules need to be followed carefully. So she will qualify. Worst of all is transferring assets improperly and the result can be lack of medicaid coverage or delay in coverage.
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I would only take the advice of an Elder Law Attorney and have it all drawn up. The only way for you and anyone else to know it is all done correctly. Was so glad I did that as Mom's caregiver. Nothing to come back and hit you later.
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Discuss with an elder care lawyer where you can come up with a contract. Most would say bill monthly and do not wait until death.
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