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I want to give up power of attorney. I have been caring for my elderly father who is in very poor health and has pretty advanced dementia. He had one leg amputated late last year and could very well lose THE OTHER LEG due to poor circulation. He has been in and out of the hospital for numerous health problems - you name it, he probably has it. Luckily he is retired military and has very good insurance. He broke his hip last year. He no longer qualifies for ANY rehab. This whole situation has been nothing short of a nightmare for my husband and myself. He has applied for medicaid and has been denied before. The last nursing home discharged him when he was in the hospital. The one he is in now is threatening to do the same saying that I have to pick him up in one week if his balance is not paid. He now is awaiting medicaid and lives from paycheck to paycheck and can only make partial payments. Obviously, his pay is not enough to cover the cost of the nursing home. I have no where to put him. He can not live with us because he is very needy and needs constant supervision - also he cannot clim the stairs of our third floor apartment. I think the financial agent at the home is avoiding me. It is like she is giving me an ultimatum, but he has just been there three months, and owes only a little for the two months he could not pay in full. My husband and I have already spent a few thousand on him and cannot continue to do so. No other family members want to help for various reasons. How to do I give up my POA? I can no longer deal with the emotional stress and financial burden. I am afraid of collectors coming after me. Where's the online form for this? Can someone please advise? My father cannot sign anything, so how can I accomplish this without him?

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They can't force you to pick him up with the POA. At MIL's nursing home occasionally new residents show up that were basically abandoned. Some were picked up by police The social worker and the nursing home process it through the county court system.
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Being POA doesn't mean that you're responsible for his NH balance. If you personally didn't sign anything when he went in you are not liable for his payments.

I applied for Medicaid for my dad when he went into a NH and from what I understand the NH cannot kick your dad out if he is in the application process. The Medicaid is retroactive to the day his insurance stopped covering him (this is how it was when Medicare stopped covering my dad). We made partial payments to the NH from my dad's pension and social security while we continued on with the Medicaid application process. We were sent bills for various amounts ($7000, $13,000, etc) from the NH which caused our hearts to stop but as we understood it, as long as he was in the process of applying for Medicaid they could not kick him out. We applied in Jan. of this year and to this date my dad has yet to be approved. He died last weekend so I'd like to see how the NH is going to get their money now, LOL. The application process was a nightmare, by the way. It drove us insane, the NH drove us insane and it was only when we realized that my dad was not going to live much longer did we take the "We don't care anymore" attitude. We did everything we were supposed to do when applying for Medicaid. We tracked down each piece of information they required, we did it all in a timely manner and that was all we could do.

You and your husband should not be held responsible for your dad's outstanding balance at the NH unless you signed something to the contrary. That you are POA doesn't matter. It doesn't make you responsible for his debts at the nursing home or any other debts. My brother paid my dad's NH each month out of my dad's pension and social security and this paltry sum was but a drop in the bucket compared to what my dad owed but it was good-faith money while we waited (and waited, and waited...) for Medicaid to come through.

There are more people here who know so much more than I do on this topic, but I wanted to share with you our experience.
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I would call the Area Agency on Aging in your county or city. Tell them what is going on. They can't just kick your father out. What it comes down to is they threaten you because they want paid now, and they don't know you have info, they are going on the fact that you are trusting them completely without any other info. The Area Agency on Aging has lots of info and social workers to help you. You can also contact Ombudsman in your area to help investigate the situation. Good luck and keep us posted, Hugs to you!!
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POA gives you authority to act on your father's behalf. For example, you can use his money to pay his bills. It does not obligate you in any way to spend your own funds. So the financial burden should not be an issue for you.

The emotional stress? Well, that is a different matter. Because you are POA, the nursing home, clinic offices, etc. are going to contact you when decisions need to be made. If you refuse to act in that role, will you feel better? (That is a sincere question, by the way. Give some thought to if it would make you feel better or worse if you weren't getting those calls.)

Any competent person can name any one they want to be POA for them, but that doesn't obligate the named person to take on that role. Did your father name an alternate if you could not/would not serve? Who is that person? Is he/she willing to take on the role of decision-maker?

Are you willing to have Dad declared a ward of the state, and have a professional appointed to make decisions for him? Would that reduce your stress, or increase it? (Again, a sincere question.)

Now that you know that being POA does not carry any financial obligations, give careful thought to what would really give you the most peace of mind. If you want to give up the power of attorney, Google Disclaim POA and your state, to find out if there is a form in your state or if a formal letter of resignation is sufficient.
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I am also offended by the answers I received, but I will chalk them up to no knowing all of the details. I know exactly what a POA is. His resources are GONE. He sold his house over 5 years ago and gave away his money like a dumb dumb. I question his competency now for doing that because he left such a big mess and did not plan for any of this. Everyone came around when he was handing the money out to various relatives as a "gift", but now they are no where to be found. None would ever contribute anything to help him or us. Everyone is selfish in our family. It is a long story. He never saved anything. HIs money burned a hole in his pocket. WHY DID WE HELP HIM OUT??? Because no nursing home would take him if we didn't. The would have put him in a ghetto nursing home or put him in another state - far away from us. I have been his POA for over two years and it is a nightmare. There is always SOMETHING going wrong with his health. He has not yet been approved for medicaid. It is such BS. I want to give up POA because they are threatening to kick him out of the nursing home and I have absolutely no where for him to go. Do you get a clearer picture now? THAT is why.
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The nursing home wants ANYONE to pay his balance. They say that I have to take him in a few days if it is not paid. Got it now? I have no idea about what to do.
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Sorry, but your answers sound very generic. A lawyer drew up the POA over two years ago. I have been paying his bills eve since then - with his money. Since he helped me in life, I tried to do the right thing to help him SOMEWHAT, but this cannot continue.
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Sorry, these answers were not any help. I want to know what to do when my dad is about to be kicked out of a home for having a balance while he is medicaid pending. THAT is my question. I am at my wit's end. If I give up my POA, then can they force me to pick him up???
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You don't have to take him. Talk to the social worker and ask her what is going to happen when you refuse. I don't believe they can move him to another state at this point.
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Thank you!
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