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We have 24-hour care with an agency. My 96-year-old mom is on hospice. I am staying here with her 24/7 because the caregivers need my assistance when they transfer my mom to the commode. My mom has no strength left in her legs, so the transfer is hard. But other than this, the caregivers could manage without me. I don’t want to be here all the time if I don’t have to. Any ideas?

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Care in a home setting faces this problem at some stage.

The alternative to 2 x assist is stay in bed & use bed pans. Hired hospital bed that raises & can sit up really helps at this stage.

It is certainly reasonable to keep using bathroom/commode for as long as possible. So it is worth exploring what options are possible. Ask your Hospice contact - they must see this situation a lot.

Just for your info;
The level of assistance goes as follows;
* Independant.
* 1 x assist. Without equipment, then with equipment.
* 2 x assist, with equipment.

Have Hospice (or OT) assess transfer method. Could 1 aide manage SAFELY with a sit to stand machine? If so, arrange hire.

If not suitable due to lack of leg strength, then next step could be a hoist lifting machine. This also can be hired.

Ask Care Agency Manager about training experience of the staff who will be using any machines. (Hospice Nurse may be able to demo & train if req'd)

Hoists may be done by 1, depends on care agency policy but 2 people are often required. Safety is top priority.

It's possible to hire a hoist & a 2nd aide could be arranged to visit say, 2 x week for bathing assist.

But as 2nd aide not able to be arranged 'as needed' for toileting transfers, you face the same problem..

I hope this stage brings some joy as well as the hard work 🤗
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I think I would look into a different agency. That’s what you’re paying them to do is take care of your mother’s immediate needs that a nursing home can’t.
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rosadelima: This is the 24 hour caregivers' jobs and not your's.
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Can Hospice happen at an assisted living facility instead of in one's home?
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PeggySue2020 May 2022
Yes, hospice goes into facilities all the time to provide the same services one would get at home, including the weekly RN visits, the twice a week bathing aides, social worker, chaplain, and volunteers.
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Someone mentioned the Hoyer Lift. I looked it up and found this info on the Medicare site. https://www.medicare.org/articles/does-medicare-cover-hoyer-lifts/
Just an option to consider.
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Perhaps you need to buy or rent a lift. You can watch demonstrations of how they are used on YouTube.
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If you have a 24 hour care agency, they are supposed to do these things. Especially the lifting, which they are trained to do. You need to call the company as soon as possible and tell them this. Just leave and do things you need to do, when you need to do them, they will figure it out. But install the Ring cameras around the house, so you can watch them. Sometimes, paid caregivers get ugly with their patients when family is not around. Some also steal things. It's unfortunate that this happens and gives all caregivers a bad rap.
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You don't have to be there all the time. Between Hospice and the agency you should be able to work this out. If ur Moms 96 you are at least in your 60s. You should not be lifting dead weight. That is what the aides are trained to do. That is what Mom is paying for. Maybe she will need to start using a catheter or that purewick system.

There were times when Mom was in the hospital the Nurses though because I was there that I would do. They were mistaken, that was not my job nor was I comfortable in doing what they thought I would/could/should.
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Speak to your mother's hospice about this. My aunt needed 2 caregivers at certain times during the day when she approached end of life. Perhaps by using incontinence supplies (panties and pads on the bed and anywhere she sits), and maybe with a hospital commode that can be placed on the bed, the trips to the commode can be less frequent. Your mother's hospice may have additional suggestions. All the best to you both!
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JoAnn29 May 2022
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Hospice delivered a hoyer lift for us to do transfers. My mom’s legs are very weak so we were bearing all her weight although she’s quite thin. However, the hoyer lift didn’t help in our situation. We needed a sit-to-stand machine to help with her transfer from bed to commode to wheelchair. After searching on line, I found several sit-to-stand machines that served our purpose perfectly. It was pricey but worth every penny! I opted for the electric one with an easy to use remote. The caregiver just straps my mom in and the machine does all the lifting for us. Ask hospice for a hoyer lift to see if works for your situation. But if it doesn’t, google the sit-to-stand lifts.
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Grandma1954 May 2022
Hospice can also provide a Sit to stand. But they will only provide 1 of these 2 pieces of equipment
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Talk to the hospice company. Either mom needs to use a bedpan or might need a rental "lift" so 1 person can lift her alone onto and off the commode. Either way purchase or rent what is needed so you can have days off. Hospice company will have contacts with local companies for the items needed.
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My 94 yo mother has bone on bone knees. As the years have progressed her mobility decreased. With each activity that she couldn’t do anymore we had been able to make accommodations that allowed her to stay in her home, without any help.
Last year at this time she was able to transfer from wheelchair to commode to bed and back again without any assistance. But, in July she had a week in the hospital due to heart related issues. That was the final straw. Her knees/ligaments/muscles said, “that’s it old girl”. The rehab facility/hospice sent her home with a Sit to Stand lift. With this lift a type of vest is snapped on at the waist then hooked to the lift arms, the patient holds on to the arms, puts their feet on the foot base, and rests their knees against the knee pads. The lift arms are raised to the height that’s needed for the transfer. What a blessing!!
My mom uses a wheelchair to get around in the house, so she only needs a caregiver for an hour in the morning, and an hour in the evening. I should add that at this time she has a hospice aid that comes midday to change her pull-up. Once she no longer has this service I will be looking into the Pure Wick. If the Pure Wick isn’t doable we’ll then need to hire a caregiver for an hour during the day, as well.
There are so many accommodations that can be made, now a days, that allow a person to stay in their home, where they are most comfortable. Hope all goes well for you and your mom.
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Hoyer lift and caregiver trained to use it safely
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I don't work for this company and I am not being paid to endorse their product, but several of my clients are using an external catheter system that allows a female to stay in bed more comfortably and even sleep through the night. Their website is https://www.purewickathome.com/
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My dad has 24 hour care at home-he has loads of physical and cognitive issues. Mom can not handle dad at all. Both are in their 90's. Dad started needing 2 person assist to transfer. When shift change happens around 7pm the two ladies-(day and night person) get dad ready and into bed. There have been too many problems when one person tried to do the transfer-falling etc. There is long term care insurance that is covering a fraction of the home care cost but when there is too much of an overlap of care givers on the same shift then the insurance will not pay-which further reduces the benefit payout from LTC. They also have a Sara Steady non mechanical lift-but it still takes two people as dad can only stand up for a few seconds at a time. I do not want CG depending on me to assist in the heavy lifting of dad.
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Wow! Your situation mirrors mine. My husband needs two people to move him to the commode. One person cannot do it. Too dangerous. So, I help the caregiver whenever I work from home. On days I work in the office, I hire a second person.

Note that the alternative option for you would be worse: if the caregiver quits, you are stuck doing everything by yourself.
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Ask Hospice to provide a Hoyer lift so that transfers can be done safely for everyone involved.
I am surprised that one has not been provided
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rosadelima May 2022
I will ask about this!
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My SO has encountered this. He says “you guys need more help.”

He can’t be there multiple times every day that the parents need to or want to transfer, so being asked is concerning. You might need sit to stands or a hoyer lift with aides specifically trained on how to manage those.
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I should clarify- my mom has dementia and doesn’t understand that she’s wearing diapers. She is stuck on using the toilet/commode. We’ve tried telling her it’s ok to just “go” in bed but she can’t understand.
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My sister used disposable chux in her bed. She hated it but, she couldn't move or her spine would spontaneously break. 6 broken vertebrae before she became bedridden.

This would be an option for the caregivers when you aren't there. It is a process that is actually pretty easy. Mom says she needs to go, aid places the disposable chux, mom goes and aid cleans up.

We usually put a couple under my sister, just in case it was getting messy, we could pull the full chux out, roll-up, dispose and my sister didn't get feces on her.

You have to take care of you and hopefully, mom can understand this.
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