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One wants to sell house, the other doesn't. They put dad in home against his will. He does have dementia, but I cared for him. They were never there.

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It's very distressing when there is discord within a family regarding the caregiving of an LO. How advanced is your father's dementia? Is it possible the house needs to be sold to pay for his care? Why do you think they didn't approach you to continue caring for him? Or did they and you couldn't continue? Many elderly with dementia do not want to be transitioned into a care community but sometimes it's the best option for all involved. What kind of advice are you needing? Unless you pursue guardianship you don't have any legal authority to change anything, in fact it may make things worse. I hope you can be a calm and unifying voice in your father's care.
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Unfortuantley, since the time of this writing....he's gone terribly down hill. I know people say, 'it will take time to adjust'.......well, there is no time now for some reason. He was kinda heading toward dementia but on the level of MCI. Not anymore.
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AlvaDeer Aug 2020
J do you live in the home in question, that may be sold. Sounds as though Dad now does need care. The virus is hitting everywhere, and think that will be worse in the fall. So sorry for all of this.
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You should never make 2 people active POAs. One the primary and the other stepping in when primary can't do it for some reason. And in my opinion, the one doing the caring should have POA for financial and medical. I personally would not care for the person without him.

Well, if Dad needs Medicaid, that house will need to be sold unless someone is willing to pay the bills. And Medicaid may not allow reimbursement if it does sell and it needs to sell at Market Value. If things are not done right sisters maybe finding themselves caring for Dad.

When people suffer from Dementia sometimes its what they need not what they want. Really surprised they put him in an AL when you were willing to care for him. Usually family will take advantage of that so there is more inheritance. So sorry Dads decline has worsened. This Virus has really hit those in facilities because of the isolation. My friend had to be taken to the hospital for a melt down she was having. Can u blame her, she is in one room all day with one other person.
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Are you saying you wish to continue care for your father and your brothers do not think you should? what is their reasoning for this choice?
As to selling the home, they will have to come to a conclusion they think best. This almost always happens with two co-POA instead of successor POA. Were I then I would get the advice of a Lawyer on how best to go forward for your father and his safe care.
Are you living in the home? Is this why the home issue is so disturbing? You may now be in a position to have to leave this home. If you have not been paid for the care of your father, but had only the home to live in, this is often how it ends, with the elder needing care and the child who cared for him or her now not having worked for years, and forced to move. It's a bad position, but you have not told us if it is YOUR position.
Wishing you much luck, and hoping you can give us more info.
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