I have always managed stress well and take no medications to date. Overall I am healthy and exercise and have a spiritual life and support from family and friends. But I'm struggling to stay positive, focused and spend too much time crying. (I care for my spouse with leukemia, vascular dementia, wounds, etc). Just wondering if medication has helped anyone through this challenging time.
I'm from a suck it up buttercup, kind of family so I long hesitated to get the help I needed. Couldn't understand why I was struggling so much with something I was supposed to be glad to do. ( Not my idea, but other family members felt I should feel priveledged and grateful to be a caregiver)
Of course I loved my sweet mom, but she needed a lot even in independent and assisted living settings. I felt horribly guilty for being so resentful, then my husband developed multiple medical issues, our marriage started to unravel and it was an absolute poopstorm.
I felt passively suicidal at times. Mainly, just hoping I would not wake up and deal with another day but the thought of having my son have to pick up all the slack motivated my a** to get some help and fill the RX.
It did help me become a more stable, calmer caregiver and less of a crying, screaming banshee at times. I was able to calm down and get perspective on things.
I used to scream in my car driving home from my mom's place or some other myriad of appointment or errands. It helped a little but not as much as therapy and medicaiton. My vocal chords are happier about it.
My mom passed away in January of this year, I took care of her for 10 years and for now I am still on it as I am working my way through all the complicated grief.
Mostly because of covid, smoking was to dangerous, and drinking just made me wanta smoke
Probably my dyslexia, I do things backwards. 😂
But your absolutely right.
And Sleep! That has been the one thing I've not gotten near enough of
If you are resistant to the idea of having to take an antidepressant, consider this proposal: suppose I told you that tomorrow you had to walk barefoot on hot coals. Or I could give you the alternative to wear tennis shoes...at any rate you'll be walking through fire, so why wouldn't you want to use protective gear? The right antidepressant is just like those tennis shoes. I hope this helps you.
Peace to you from Alabama.
We all have different limits too. What is one persons limit of how much stress they can handle might not be another persons stress. It's a personal choice, not for anyone to judge either way!
If you are feeling so overwhelmed, I would suggest that medication be your last resort. First, get HELP! I mean, physically caring for your spouse and taking care of the day-to day.
Also, talking with a counselor, not just family and friends, who are more likely to provide biased feedback.
Accept that it IS a Challenging time. It is sad to see our loved ones in this altered state. You are likely grieving the loss, which feels uncomfortable when the person is still living.
And the physical challenges added to our emotional stress can be a LOT to bear!
I get it. I, too, cried a couple times a week. And I still get so frustrated I yell and cry, "I can't do this anymore!"
But, I walk away for a while, and continue trying, because I would rather face the difficult challenges than to be without my husband. My role as his caregiver for the last 8 years has become my identity. I don't know what I would do without him. In our case, he suffered a stroke 9 years ago which caused considerable brain damage, resulting in some paralysis, and dementia, as well as inability to communicate or eat solid foods. But, ironically, he is remarkably strong and healthy, so at this point, he could outlive me.
I still get sad and miss the wonderful man who no longer is. It's ok to cry.
I don't know if medication will do much to change your outlook and certainly won't change the circumstances.
Best wishes to you, and feel free to message me any time you just want to talk and unload.
Anyways talked to my doctor, weighed the pros and cons. We decided to temporarily try me on generic Zoloft. Im glad I waited so long seeing that things are going down hill with moms health and mind now,
It feels like the right time.
I'll keep ya posted how it goes
Never, never stop or decide on your own to change your med schedule! Call the doctor first. They have been an important part of being able to keep my husband at home. No, I don't know everything, but hopefully something here will give some help to anyone considering anti-depressants.
yes, I did mean Propanolol-tried to correct but didn't do it correctly, sorry!
I believe anti depressants are good for those who are clinically depressed.
However, there is a difference between being sad and being depressed. How can a person seeing somebody deteriorate not feel sad?
I know sadness overwhelms me from time to time, but overall I remain optimistic.
but regardless, caring for the dying is sad at the minimum, plus can generate a bunch of other emotions. And its stressful. No guarantees that an antidepressant will take away all that...
It does take the edge off of getting TOO involved.
Also, I find that yoga and especially, tai chi, calm and "smooth"
my energy.
If you can, you might consider going through a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner or Psychiatrist. Also, it does help to talk about what you are going through with, at the very least, a family councilor for validation of your feelings and some relaxation techniques. You will know if you are a good fit on the first visit.
good luck!
Caregiver is so very stressful on so many different levels. I started a low dose of an antidepressant (Citalapram sp?) almost 2 yrs ago and I just asked the Dr to up my dose…which is still rather low, but I found myself getting “weepier”. I never thought I had a problem managing stress, but the antidepressant really does make a difference. FYI most take a while to work, and some people have to try different rxs before they find one that helps.
if you feel you may need something to help with stress, please discuss it with your Dr.
Antidepressants can be a life saver when you are going through difficult times. I know they also really helped my mother deal with the loss of abilities and such that she faces with her age. They helped me get her off the couch all day and encourage her to get out to interact with the world at least a little.
Really, I am serious.
If my behavior changes, I first consider if there is a bladder or yeast infection, and medicate that. It is common for a yeast infection to cause tears.
There is no shame in taking psychiatric meds when needed.
Good luck!
In your situation, I'd suggest carefully exploring whether a SSRI would be helpful. How? I'd recommend starting off with very best Ph.D Psychologist you can find to do limited talk therapy. Why a Ph.D Psychologist? Because they are the best educated and best trained professionals to deal with talk therapy. They can't prescribe SSRI's, but they usually work in tandem with a specialist MD (usually a Psychiatrist) who can prescribe a SSRI *IF* you decide to try a SSRI.
I'd bypass your PCP because a PCP has almost zero time to effectively guide your with this. Likewise avoid any "new age" therapists or lesser educated practitioners who work only by throwing overdone wordspeak cliches at you. Find a therapist who is pedigreed, skilled, kind, and capable of understanding you and your situation. Someone that makes life easier for you, not harder.
Good luck with this!
Anyways it's good to hear from someone about it. I've got a few friends on it for yrs. And they hav no complaints
Take care of yourself; burn out can sneak up on you.
There are things that can help that are completely harmless. Like using aromatherapy (lavender is calming, as well as many others). Supplements like St. John's wort, B and D vitamins. More omega3 as a supplement or in the foods you eat. Getting enough rest and prayer is ALWAYS helpful.
God Bless you and I wish you all the best!
Those who experience withdrawal symptoms tend to report feeling sick, dizzy and tense during the withdrawal period, especially if they stop taking it suddenly without slowly reducing their dose. For tips on self-care while experiencing withdrawal symptoms have a look at our page on self-care during withdrawal.
Some of the many side effects of SJW: stomach upset, diarrhea, hives or other skin rashes, fatigue, restlessness, headache, dry mouth, and feelings of dizziness or mental confusion. St. John's wort can also make the skin overly sensitive to sunlight, called photodermatitis.
Why do you only take St John's wort for 12 weeks?
Special Precautions and Warnings. When taken by mouth: St. John's wort is likely safe when used in doses up to 900 mg daily for up to 12 weeks. It can cause some side effects such as diarrhea, dizziness, trouble sleeping, restlessness, and skin tingling. St. John's wort interacts with many drugs.