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Do things ever settle down or will I be forever facing crisis'? In October my mother had back surgery. We put her into assisted living for rehab and a safe place for her to recover. Since then things have gone down hill. Her nausea is recurring. She demand to go to e.r. for her nausea. They had to take her. She spent 2 nights and then went back. She again went to e.r. because the rehab doctor thought her anti nausea meds we affecting her cognitive reasoning. Again a 2 night stay with several tests done by several specialist. Again no known cause for nausea. But they found some concerning factors with her heart. So once again several appointments with specialists. Once again this weekend she demand to go to e.r. Because she was constipated......she had medication for it, but did not want to take it. Well they managed to unplug her. She does not understand that she needs to say something so that the nurse can call the doctor for advice and orders rather than go to e.r. On top of this I am needing to take her to doctor's appointment at least once a week. I live an hour and a half away. No other siblings are in town. I also have had to drag her to the banks so that I can have signature authority on her accounts. Also her doctor will no longer accept medicare patients so I am faced with signing up with his subscription service and bill medicare and her supplemental. I am now in the process of calling other doctors to see if they will accept her. Do things get calmer or am I faced with dealing with one crisis after another.

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Get her into a nursing home or keep running back and forth. Your choice.
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Hi pasties an, what is the rational for the nursing home?
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I have to be honest that in my experience we have ups and downs and it seems like the downs are never going to stop, they drive you out of your mind!!! When things level off we tend to take it for granted and we do not realize "Oh my God, stop and listen.....everything is quiet, there are no emergencies every five minutes." Then before you know it a "down" will hit and we are riding the roller coaster again.

Being a care giver or the "responsible party" is NEVER easy. I am in to this care giving for 8 years and it is more difficult now than it was in the beginning!
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i dont see a NH as a cure all. one has to lead a double life to provide comfort and care to someone in an institution. there probably arent any easy solutions. elder care is just complicated and one of the most difficult periods in our lives and it doesnt get easier. my mom has been gone for 4 months and im still cycling thru emotions that defy explanation.
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