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Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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You could try explaining to your mother that if she makes fewer demands on your brother he's more likely to contact her more frequently. No one is going to *want* to call someone who chews his ear off and/or makes him feel guilty.
Mind you. I'm afraid I'm quite gloomy about your prospects. It doesn't take much for some people to resent being "made" to feel guilty. Whenever my brother rang my mother - once in a blue moon, and I suspect only when my SIL stood over him with a loaded revolver - the first words out of her mouth would always be "when are we going to see you?" Now, you and I might take that as her being hopeful that she might at some point see her favourite child, and nothing more. But to him, and I never took this seriously enough I don't think, it was outrageous emotional blackmail.
I'm afraid I no longer care about my brother enough to figure out what I might have helped or cured or facilitated between the two of them, far too late and we're not in touch. But it's not too late for you.
When your brother does speak to your mother, what's the conversation like? Is she upset because he isn't more communicative, or does he actively give her a hard time?
My brother has a lot less care giving and communication with my mom . He’s a very impatient person and my mom always winds up very upset after any interaction, yet, understandably, wants to be in his life. I talk to my mom at least 1x a day if not more, go to dr appointment, food shop, etc... he is in touch about 1x every week and a half by phone and see’s her about 1x every 6 weeks to 8 weeks. He is so angry about her aging and tells me she’s being dramatic and craving attention. She IS craving attention! She wants to know both of her kids will be there for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mind you. I'm afraid I'm quite gloomy about your prospects. It doesn't take much for some people to resent being "made" to feel guilty. Whenever my brother rang my mother - once in a blue moon, and I suspect only when my SIL stood over him with a loaded revolver - the first words out of her mouth would always be "when are we going to see you?" Now, you and I might take that as her being hopeful that she might at some point see her favourite child, and nothing more. But to him, and I never took this seriously enough I don't think, it was outrageous emotional blackmail.
I'm afraid I no longer care about my brother enough to figure out what I might have helped or cured or facilitated between the two of them, far too late and we're not in touch. But it's not too late for you.
When your brother does speak to your mother, what's the conversation like? Is she upset because he isn't more communicative, or does he actively give her a hard time?
Does the sibling who constantly complains about the parent have
a) a lot more
b) a lot less
c) about the same
contact with the parent that you have?
What sort of support and/or hands-on caregiving is provided to the parent by each of you?
He is so angry about her aging and tells me she’s being dramatic and craving attention. She IS craving attention! She wants to know both of her kids will be there for her.