Follow
Share

We arranged for my Mom to stay with her brother about 30 minutes away. She did go to visit and returned after just two short days and now we are feeling the feelings of guilt trip if we go. Time for the other siblings to step up and help. This is really getting to us!!!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
You need a break. I care! I'll bet most of the caregivers on this site can relate to your situation and care, too.

Inform your family that this break is crucial to you and you will not be responding to text or voice messages. If there is an emergency they should call 911 or handle it themselves.

Lots of things in life aren't fair. You can't control most of them, but you can take charge of this situation. Do it!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Of course you should still go! Does Mom need constant supervision? Just a drop-in check a couple times a day? Or what?

Why didn't she stay at her brother's?

Could any of the siblings realistically help out on such short notice? Would they?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mom needs almost zero supervision, mostly just company. :) She gets a little scared at noises at night time but stays home all day by herself while we work. We have a dog here that she loves who is very watchful and is her total companion whenever she chooses. I already asked one sibling and they totally didn't respond to that question. The siblings knew of our trip three weeks ago and nothing was offered. She didn't want to stay at her brothers because "I don't know where everything is". So now we will probably get phone calls or texts because Mom may pull the guilt trip on whomever may answer their phone to listen to this. If that happens, I will be very saddened, stressed, and upset. Geez, my trip already seems doomed from the get-go. So not fair, especially when we planned ahead. We need a break and no one cares.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

So what if mom calls them all and bad mouths you? You made arrangements and mom didn't cooperate by staying at her brother's for the agreed upon time. Why did that happen?

You've planned ahead. I'm assuming that you're correct in your assessment that mom can stay alone. I guess you'll know the answer to that for sure when you return home and can then begin to make other arrangements for her care. This current situation is clearly not working well for you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Perhaps one of your siblings can spend the nights at your house while you are gone.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You need to look at this trip as a MD appointment for mental health.If you go crazy how will this help your mom? Would you allow your siblings to prevent you from going to a MD appointment for your health? Time for them to wake up! I would very FIRMLY let them know your are going, she can call them or 911 and you will deal with whatever when you get home. Turn off your cell phone, the ER can deal with your mom better than you can so it wouldn't matter if you were there are not.This is misplaced guilt, if you don't go you are digging your own grave.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Frustrated, I just went back through some of your old posts. We suggested to you at the beginning of December that mom needed to be seen by a geriatric psych ( me) and that mom did not sound mentally healthy ( Jeanne Gibbs). Have you taken action on those suggestions?

Getting a proper diagnosis and medication is key in this situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Go for crying out loud. Tell your sibs (don't hope they offer) that one of them needs to step up the plate. Write down their phone numbers for mom and tell her if she needs something, call one of them, as you will be too far away to help. Then do it!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter