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I came home from running errands and found a business card from an investigator Not sure if this is in the right spot...cause it actually fits more than one description of which topics it may fall under... I'm looking for some input ~ hoping someone can help me.. I live with my 95 year old grandmother, two weeks ago she got very sick/wasn't herself. I believed it was a UTI (..in addition to not being herself, her urine had quite the odor - not normal). Took her to the ER (Tuesday) - doctor wouldn't treat her/sent us home (but they did get a urine specimen to rule out any problems). After that visit, we went home ~ couldn't get Gran out of the car (very unsteady on her feet) - when I finally got her out...knees started to buckle. Put my car alarm on see if any of the neighbors were home - and to help us. Luckily a few people came out - but we couldn't get grandmom to walk (she was shaking). Gran was saying she wanted to go into the house but it wasn't possible (wasn't moving legs to walk). Neighbor called 911 -- back to the ER (2nd time). Same ER doc as earlier, he was very condescending and said 'weakness is not a symptom' and sent us home. But before leaving - he said she'd be better off in skilled nursing care for the rest of her life. No, she doesn't need nursing care - however, she has an infection and no one will help her/us. Fast forward to Friday of that week - gran wasn't too bad from Tuesday to Friday (definitely wasn't herself though) - about 2:00am I helped her get up from bed to the bathroom. First thing I noticed - she was very hot. Immediately I took her temperature (103). Called 911 - back to ER (different ER doctor) - this time they kept her. All tests came back clean (yea - negative urine specimen/urine culture) with one exception -- tested positive for c-difficile colitis. Fast forward to 02/28 (hospitalized from 02/24 thru 02/28) - I requested that grandmom go into temporary rehab with the hopes of regaining some strength/agility as well as to recover more from the c-difficile. First care plan meeting was yesterday - even with the infection, she was exceeding all of the staffs expectations of her. Today - I was out doing errands (...getting car inspected; few other runs I needed to get done)..came home and found a business card between my doors -- An investigator from older adult protective services was here while I was away. Nothing else left in the door, just the card. My questions -- is someone attempting to get me in trouble for abuse (that never existed)? Is this a result of being c-difficile positive / this is a routine investigation? There was a similar type of incident in 2012 - grandmother fell, but I asked them to come by and evaluate grandmother to see if we are eligible for any services (meals on wheels, etc)...never received a business card from older adult protective services back then. My uncle's girlfriend has tried many times to start trouble thru the years but hasn't stopped to the current low....Sadly I wouldn't be shocked if it was her....(uncle's girlfriend has attempted to make me homeless; demanded I show her grandmom's financial records; etc - and no..since I'm the financial poa, didn't comply). But anyways...can someone help me make sense of all this? Am I being blamed for c-diff infection (...is this being classified as abuse?)? How can I defend myself against this potential aligation (...assuming I'm being charged with abuse)? I'm fairly certain that this was my uncle's girlfriend doing... but either way, I need to figure out how to protect myself against untrue lies.

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That's the important point, Midnight: you have done the right thing, and you have nothing to fear. Dig out that POA documentation as soon as you can, but even that doesn't alter the case.

I happen to know that in terms of mandated reporting, there are signals that can trigger a report. With children, for example, repeated trips to ER would do it; and because of circumstances that were absolutely not your fault (on the contrary, and you're already dealing with it) your grandmother will have registered as showing up three times in a row. If that was then added to by a complaint about isolation, or even an enquiry along the lines of "niece is doing such and such, is that legal," then APS would have to act on it.

This will all come out in the wash, as they say. Well done for working with them, and please keep in touch to let us know how it's going.

This is exactly what caregivers *don't* need. I'm so sorry for the added stress you're going through.
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I would call to see what it is. It may be something simple, like talking about arrangements for you gma going forward. Or it may be that someone reported something. What you can do is be honest. I'm sure they will see that you are doing your best in a situation the doctor should have helped with. I feel bad for both your gma and you. Big hugs.
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There is not one perfect caregiver on this forum Midnight!
So you are in good company!
There are only 1-2 that think they are perfect, but we love and support them too!
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Update ---

I spoke to the case worker... among the highlights ~ I'm being accused of not getting grandmom any medical care (totally false); dental care (totally false); I opposed rehab (...what the heck ~ I was the one who first bought it up -- I didn't oppose it; I wanted it); etc - and the lies list continues on...

So yea, I'm dealing with an angry unstable 'family' member who is trying (again) to have grandmom put into a nursing home. She's not ready for nursing home care at this time... but if and when that day comes ~ she will be going..

Luckily I've lost my voice (combination of crying/talking to case workers/sinus issues/allergy season) --- but I am working on a plan of action ~ left a message with family doctor saying what went down earlier... the receptionist was quite disgusted and knew it was all lies. We (gran and I) are fairly regulars ~ regular check ups, etc. I always ask her doctor questions at each visit anyways.

Unrelated -- can anyone recommend a good lawyer in the South Jersey/PA area that specializes in elder care? After talking with the case worker - I don't feel safe anymore (...case worker did her job ~ and was amazed at the details I gave; right down to the tiniest detail. She made it clear she was doing her job * which I understand * and was appreciative that I was being open with her). I'm also open to any/all ideas and suggestions from y'all too.
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That ER doctor bumped his head.
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Midnight I would put my money on it being the first ER Dr who filed the report. He realized that he had not provided treatment when you turned up the second time so now he is protecting his butt and accusing you before you can report him.
There is no doubt that his treatment or rather lack of it of your grandmother was negligent.
You have two choices, one is to make a complaint to the head of that hospital, however they may go into denial mode to protect themselves against legal action. The second is to go to the State Medical Board and they will have to review the case. If you do that and they find you are correct they will take disciplinary action against that Dr. I would wait until you have the meeting with the primary Dr and let him advise you. He clearly realizes there has been wrongdoing.
It does not matter if someone is 93 or 3 they all have a right to proper diagnosis and treatment .
As far as grandmothers prognosis is concerned as someone mentioned C dif is difficult if not impossible to clear up and may shorten life but she is making such good progress I would be very hopeful.
This may turn into a bit of a hassle for you right now when you would just prefer to concentrate on Gma but think of it as a public service . You may be able to prevent this Dr from abusing other vulnerable people. Hugs
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Sadly this isn't a case closed detail... but judging by the questions asked, it's all due to uncle's mentally unstable girlfriend. Still writing a letter regarding the ER doctor - once APS is done. Case worker wanted prof of me being poa - I do have copies... but I'm tending to the accusations of medical neglect (...and was accused of keeping her from her family - another whopper of a lie). As much as I want to confront the liar; I'm going to bite my tongue. I know I've done the right thing (..and my friends have made it clear that they are in our corner) and have nothing to fear. I even invited the worker back to my home ~ im not the best housekeeper but my home is clean... and not to mind the fact I've got really bad allergies (...puffy eyes, etc) - if she doesn't mind that...come on by. Thank you all for your support - it means a lot to me. And it's one of the few things that is getting me thru each day.
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My uncle and his 'girlfriend' have been together since the 80's.. The girlfriend doesn't really 'know' gran ~ she thinks she does....but she only knows the basics. I'm the one that's there 24/7 - not her. Sadly the girlfriend has tried various stunts thru the years ~ (guessing) to get me out of the picture. My theory, since nothing has worked - she'd give APS a try. My fear, what's next - will the police be at my door one of these days? I do think that one of her motives is money (just a hunch though), since she loves shopping, etc. She's one of those who 'thinks' she knows it all...but in reality doesn't know anything.

I did text my uncle ~ "I know who did this..." his response, "I don't". I truly believe he doesn't legitimately know - but I'm sure his sister (my aunt) will be filling him in.

APS is scary enough ~ and I'm not afraid. The truth will set me free. I know they have a job to do...not their fault uncle's girlfriend is mentally unstable. Spoke to my aunt (gran's daughter) as well as my uncle (with girlfriend) ~ told them both that calling APS is unacceptable and I will not tolerate being bullied. I fully intend to investigate any and all legal avenues...and if I can get her on slander/libel - I most certainly will. Needless to say my aunt went into partial panic mode -- begging to have a 'family meeting' to discuss everything. Told her that the current actions have crossed the line and she's a bit too late. Haven't heard any response from either since earlier today. Not expecting any response either ~ they're likely hoping that I'll 'forget' the incident. Still decluttering the house (focusing on the first floor - where gran 'lives') ~ cause something tells me that I should prepare for a home visit in the upcoming days. I don't have plans to tell Gran about APS, not going to upset her. If anything, I'll let her think it's home health coming to do preliminary interview.

General update on my grandmom ~ no more isolation precautions. She's still doing very well - and things are looking awesome. Still wants me to take her home - but I keep telling her 'soon'. She's been sleeping for the most part since I've been here (..we're not morning people ~ our day usually starts after 12:30pm. Rehab has her up and ready for the day by 6:30am. Just thinking about that hour of the morning - yuck). Sleep sounds like a great idea - can't wait to go home.
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Good job Midnight!!! As you said, you have done the right things for your gran. Research online for elder law attorney in your area. I do believe this will blow over once all investigation is done. You have the paperwork from the discharges from the ER where they said nothing was wrong. Keep those papers. If your uncle wants to come visit, he knows where you live but leave the girlfriend at home.
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Midnight, you are handling this so well!  Please keep posting here and let us know how it works out.   We care!

We also learn from each other. I hope you find an empathetic lawyer who can help you sort out this dreadful family situation, and that you can share what works.

I'm curious about why evil girlfriend wants gram in a NH? Does she think that is cheaper somehow than having gram at home?
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