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An employee of the nursing home my mother resides in set up a home visit for my mother. No one at the nursing home contacted me. Is this permitted and legal? It wasn't a visit to determine if she could live independently at home. The employee works in the maintenance area at the nursing home.

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I read it again and believe you said someone took her to her own house? Absolutely! She has monetary interest in it if it's her property. Also. like you, she can legally give a gift to a caregiver as long as the caregiver does not give her partial treatment above the other residents in their care.
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So I change my feelings about this if mom doesn't have dementia or Alzheimer's. If she can ask and do this to help herself feel better and someone is willing to help her. How nice of them.

If you have POA you can request that you be notified of all trips away from the facility and with whom she is going. My dads facility wanted me to put controls on his leaving and I refused. He's a big boy and he can decide if he wants to go with someone. Not to be callous but honestly what is the worse thing that could happen, death? Better quickly than wasting away in a facility that he hates.

Having the correct diagnosis on your profile does change the help offered.
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ZMChipmunk Oct 2019
Thank you! I will view this as an act of kindness.
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Wondering if this was done off the clock. If so, and she signs herself out and in-what can you do. It's not a prison.
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ZMChipmunk Oct 2019
It was done during working hours.
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Mom has not been diagnosed with alzheimer's or dementia yet. (Should I uncheck that in the profile? I'm new) There have been other recent events I've been told about that concern me as well. Giving a ring to another employee at the nursing home. I wasn't a family heirloom but it does concern me. Yes, she was taken for a home visit. I assume the administrator would have known because mom is unable to get in or out of a vehicle...at least I wouldn't be able to manage it. It's an old farmhouse and not in the best shape. Entrance can be easily gained. After 5 years at the nursing home I'm in the beginning stages of cleaning it out and selling.
My basic question is whether the nursing home should have contacted me prior? Am I over-reacting and should just let it slide?
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AlvaDeer Oct 2019
I kind of think if Mom is not judged as having any dementia that she is not a prisoner and is allowed to go. It certainly is the case with my brother in Assisted Living. He is able to sign out and go wherever he likes, to his old home which recently he reroofed, to eat, shopping, and etc. He is free agent and it is signed on his admission papers what he is capable of doing, by his doctor. There would be no reason to call me whatsoever. We do not live in the same town, tho we do in the same state. I would be notified if he did not return before nightfall lockup of the cottages, and had not signed out as overnight. But heavens, he could go on a cruise if he chose to. He is not demented.
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At the Assisted Living my brother is in the man who drives the van for tours, for shopping and medical visits, often takes my brother the two blocks to his home where he is winding up preparing it for sale. My brother is fully capable and able and signs out appropriately. My brother has his keys with him, is picked up later in the day.
The main thing I need to know is if your mother is fully capable. If she is NOT, then such a visit is off the boards WRONG. So wrong I cannot honestly believe that it happened. What proof do you have that this did happen? Why did your Mother want to go there? Was there something she wanted to retrieve, and was capable of asking for help in retrieving it from the home?
Lots of questions here. If your mother suffers from dementia you may not be getting the full story. Please check with administration and let us know IF, when and why this happened.
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So did this employee take her home?   Can anyone verify this?
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AlvaDeer Oct 2019
Cali, the employee may have had permission to take the mother wherever she wanted to go.
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My question is, how did you find out about this? Did your mom tell you? And if she did, did you verify with the nursing home staff that it actually happened? Only asking because your profile indicates your mom has Alzheimer’s or dementia and this is quite outlandish but I could still see it happening and if it did.....wow does that employee need to be fired!
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Are the family valuables missing?

This is so inappropriate it isn't even funny.

I would be finding out what the maintenance worker is up to and getting locks changed.
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You must be kidding! A maintenance worker brought mom home for a visit? In no way would anyone consider this appropriate. Hope you reported it to the nursing home administrator.
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