Follow
Share

My wife is small but dead weight, and I have a very hard time getting her up.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I need to know how to get my wife up when she falls she is small but dead weight
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom used to have falls and I struggled getting her up as well. What I did was use a gait belt, then try to lift her from behind onto something small, like a step stool. Then gradually lift her to something higher, the wheelchair. It was never easy, though. Many times I came close to calling the fire department to send someone out to help.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

First of all, do visit a physical therapy office that is reputable with your wife; perhaps her doctor can even order this. And practice this. If you cannot accomplish this using good body mechanics practices, then recognize that the fact is that you are risking injury to yourself. I am a retired RN; we all retire with bad backs. That's pretty much a fact. At the point that you have a wife who falls frequently then her care is more, sadly, than you can accomplish at home.
Other suggestions, if this is RARE: call 911 and tell them your wife has fallen, appears not injured, but you cannot get her up. They will not allow this with frequency. But rarely they will.
Is there other family? Some folks actually have neighbors who form "lift teams" but this is unwise; someone injuring his or her own back in your home is an insurance liability.
I hope others have other ideas for you and am wishing you good luck.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

In the beginning, one of us, my sister or myself, drove to the fire department and asked if there was someone available to help us get our mother up and one of volunteers came to help us. They told us to just call 911 in the future and they would call them to come. We were hesitant to do that if it wasn't an actual emergency but they assured us it was OK. When we had a few actual emergencies and she needed to go to the hospital, the fire department always came anyway and were the first ones there, so I guess this is part of what they do.

You might want to check with the local fire department in your area and see what they suggest before the next time it happens, then you will know for sure.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
peace416 Feb 2020
Thanks for your input. Haven't yet had this issue but when it (and it will) happens, nice to know I can call 911 without hesitation.
(2)
Report
all fire departments in this country provide “lift assists” for people who have fallen. All you have to do is call 911 and request one. They will send the fire dept out to lift the fallen person. At your age I would not try to lift dead weight.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I've been reading that fire departments are beginning to reevaluate their lift assist policies because the number of calls and the associated cost has increased exponentially, look forward to paying for this service if you don't already. Plus statistics show that 85% of American fire departments are volunteer departments, so unless you live in an urban area firefighters are not necessarily available.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
worriedinCali Feb 2020
In the US, firefighters are always available even in rural areas. Maybe it’s different in Canada and you are left to suffer if you live in the boonies and rely on a volunteer fire dept 🤦🏼‍♀️. As it stands in the US, urban or rural, you can call for a lift assist and volunteer fire departments are always available. They are staffed and run like regular fire departments. Fun fact, even rural areas here have paid fire departments. We already pay for this service via TAXES. Cities and counties that try to charge a fee usually end up abandoning it due to outcry and insurance does cover the fees and there hardship waivers for low income folks as well. The more you know.
(1)
Report
See 6 more replies
My daughter is an RN and this is how she picked up Mom when she fell in the shower.

Daughter spread her legs apart in line with her shoulders. Then she bent her knees going as low as she needed to get to Moms sitting position. She instructed Mom to put her arms around daughters neck. Then my daughter wrapped her arms around Mom just under her arms. Using her legs, not her back, she lifted Mom to a standing position. Then walked her out of the shower onto the toilet which was right there.

Kbuser's suggestion is really good. Start with a stool and then a chair. Less strain on ur legs. My daughter is short. A taller person should have more leverage.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

You make a call to your 911 service and ask for a "Lift Assist" when the paramedics arrive they will help her up and gt her back into her chair or bed. As long as there is no transport to the hospital there normally is no charge for a Lift Assist. (I called for 9 Lift Assists over the course of 3 years never was charged, and the paramedics were amazing!)
This is the safest way, they are trained to lift a person safely so there would be no injury to her or to you.
When I called I would do the following:
Make sure my Husband was safe, not going to fall more, put a pillow under his head..
Call 911
Turn on the porch light
Put a note on the door that it was open and the dogs were confined.
I would confine the dogs.
I would return to my Husband and make sure he was comfortable and not frightened.
When the paramedics arrived they would walk in and I would call out that I was in ...whatever room we were in.
They would ask if I wanted transport to the hospital, I would say no and they would have me sign papers stating I was declining transport.
Then they would be on their way. Takes minutes.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

When my Dad falls, I have him roll over onto his stomach and pull his knees up under himself.  I have him work up to a "crawling" position.  Then I place a soft chair (or something he can pull up on) in front of him.  It takes a while, but this has been very helpful for us.  When my Mother gets down, sometimes there's no getting her up and I call the local Fire Dept. for help.  They are so helpful and kind.  Hope you find help - this will take a toll on your back, if it hasn't already.  Bless you!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Using furniture is a great idea, if she is cooperative. Using furniture properly, pretty much anyone can get up by themselves.

The problem is if they can't do that. If you need to help them, get a gait belt. It's a wide belt that fits around the torso giving you a good handhold. It's much easier to pickup someone with a gait belt. Without one, picking up mom is a sloppy disastrous mess. Mom doesn't like being picked up by lifting her under her arms. With a gait belt though, she doesn't complain at all. It's also much easier on the lifter. When I used to pick up grandma after a fall without a gait belt, it always felt like I was going to pull my back. With a gait belt, I can lift her where her feet are a foot off the ground and carry her a fair distance.

As others have said, lift with your legs and not your back. Do not lift someone with your back bent over. Squat down with your back aligned properly and lift with your legs.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

We had trouble lifting MIL because she had fluid in her knees and the normal method was too painful. Normal method is kneeling next to a chair or stool, arms on the seat, push down, small stool under bum, then repeat going higher each time. Another useful method is to have a flat seat that you can slide under bum, with ropes like a swing either side that can be raised with a pulley. The problem then is where to attach the pulley. When we did our house reno, we built a metal hook through the wall over a door between bedroom and bathroom ensuite, to provide a solid place for the pulley. We attached a mirror on the bedroom side, which looks great. Perhaps you can work out a variation on this that would work in your house.

We worked out that MILs falls were usually when she got out of bed to go to the toilet in the night, and couldn’t see where she was going. We got a touch lamp that she couldn’t miss touching from the bed, and it reduced the falls a lot.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

These techniques only work with someone who is uninjured, of reasonable weight and still has the leg strength and cognitive ability to assist you in getting them to their feet. My mother had nerve impairment in one leg and would have simple falls every 6-12 months for decades. Often she could get to her feet herself using the chair technique and I only had to carry the chair to her fall site. When she became older and less able to help I almost always got help for the stool technique. If you have any doubts about your wife's ability to assist or your own strength, please ask for help from neighbors or a lift assist from a local fire department or EMTs. In my area, the fire department bills your insurance or asks for a donation; they do not want cost to be a factor when a senior needs a little help.

One technique that works with someone who has difficulty getting up but still has enough strength to push to stand is to use a chair. The person who has fallen gets onto their hand and knees (you may need to place a pillow under the knees if this position is painful). The assistant places a sturdy arm chair in front of the person and assists the fallen person to rising enough to place their hands and then their forearms on the chair's seat, pushing the chair toward the fallen as needed while making sure it does not slide away from the fallen person at any time. Using the chair for leverage, the fallen pushes up to their feet and then stands using the chair arms for leverage and balance. Often the fallen then turns around and takes a seat.

Another method requires you or you and a friend be able to lift the person a few inches onto a solid low stool. Place the stool as close as possible behind the fallen person. Place your forearm under the person's shoulder - do not grab their arm with your hand. While you are lifting from one side and hopefully another person is lifting from the other side while the fallen pushes as much from their legs as possible, you set the person on the low stool. I could often then place my feet in front of the fallen's feet and lean back pulling her to her feet using our grasped forearms. Two people (one on each side) can lift a person from the stool. A stronger person can stand behind the fallen person with their arms clasped under the fallen's shoulders and hands clasped together across the fallen's chest while lifting the fallen onto the stool.

When doing any lifting, please remember to keep your back as straight as possible and use your legs for most of the lifting power.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

From our physical therapist: Get a wide belt, the kind they use in hospital when walking a patient, and have close by. Have her crawl to the nearest chair or couch or bed (best) and get on her hands and knees. Put belt LOOSELY around her chest under her upper arms and not her chest or lungs. Have her put her hands on the seat and you pull her up as she pushes. It’s easier with two people but if that’s not an option you can do it. Talk gently and clearly explaining what your doing. Once she is off the floor and up on her tummy she can roll over into sitting position.
If you call EMTs to help they will charge you and not insurance because it wasn’t a life threatening situation.
Also if you have a neighbor that can help you may want ask them if they’d be available if a situation arises. Belt can be obtained at medical supply or from Amazon for $10-12.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
worriedinCali Feb 2020
The EMTs will not charge her and it is almost always the fire dept that provides lift assists, NOT the EMTs. In jurisdictions that allow citizens to be unfairly charged for services they already pay for via taxes, there is usually an exemption for Medicaid and Medicare patients-they can’t be billed.
(2)
Report
Learn from a Physical Therapist a SAFE way to help someone move, either into/out of a car, or up off the floor, or out of a tub.

Doing it 'wrong' will result in the CG having back strain, and possibly worse. I ruined my back during my CG years and required 2 surgeries. I got the 'lift training' far too late in my career to do much good.

Sometimes, you simply have to call 911. Weigh the options and make the decision. Even a small person, having fallen, suddenly doubles their weight. My DH is 255 lbs and when he's fallen--I have NO option but to call 911. Luckily, only twice and both due to him trying to get out of bed after a massive concussion, but it made me realize that there is no possible way I could shift him alone. It took 4 firefighters to get him back in bed.

We were not charged for the first 'run' but were for the 2nd. Made DH realize he needed to be more cooperative with getting up w/o help.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I found a video on youtube posted by Occupational Therapist Rhonda B which shows ideas on how to use common items in your home to get up from a fall. It is called "How to get up from the floor (after a fall) - MacGyver style!" You can find it at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ETgQD8QhZs
I like the fact that it gives you a visual, I believe that makes it easier to follow.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Call EMS
hugs 🤗
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Not much mention of avoiding falls.

Falls are very serious in the elderly. I worked with actuarial data for my career. Once an elderly person starts to fall due to physical reasons, the mortality rate in that population is 50% within 2 years. Complications from broken bones and head injuries are some of the biggest causes of death and disability.

Given that, preventing falls is key. Assisted living facilities are assessed and graded on how many falls their patients have. In our state, if an AL resident falls more than X number of times in 6 months, the state regulations are they cannot stay in AL, they are nursing home status.

I'd get an assessment by an MD for any elder who has repeated falls. The MD can suggest a care plan to avoid the falls, which may include a referral to physical therapy. home modifications, etc.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
katiekat2009 Feb 2020
I wondered if it is neglect on the caregiver's part if they DON'T place their loved one in a facility to help prevent falls? Wouldn't this be part of a criteria that home care is no longer working? I'm astounded at the replies where repeated help was needed for falls.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Here in Las Vegas we have a non-emergency number to call for such assistance. No charge but very helpful. they told me it is part of what I pay for in their service. Paramedics come with the engine and checked her out.
Saved my back.
she and I also worked out the use of furniture to get her up. The easiest was to get her near the couch and help her to roll up onto it then she could sit up.
A visiting nurse provided lot of help in all of this.
Then there is still the old chair lift thing. If you have a strong back and a sturdy chair.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
Thank you for posting.
(0)
Report
Have had to do this before. What has worked for us, is I still have to lift she has to either plant her feet on floor or against a piece of furniture and push while I hold around her upper half we lift together to get her to my knee to sit . Then it is easier for her feet to be flat on floor and ger to push to stand position. It's the first lift that is the hardest to get them to help. Good luck hope it helps.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You call 911 and tell them she's not hurt (if she isn't) but can't get her up. They will come and lift her up for you. Had to do that many times with my mom and also with myself. They know how to pick her up without hurting her and it will save you from getting hurt too.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
katiekat2009 Feb 2020
Why wasn't she placed in a facility?
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
Get a doctor to write you an order for a lift. Medicaid made pay for it. Try to order the lift to stand from Best Care. You can set her directly on the toilet, wheelchair, or bed. You can also dressed her with it because she will be standing. Good luck and may God bless
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

When my father began falling (luckily not hurting himself), I had to call 911. I felt terrible to have to do this but there was no one available to help me. That was when i decided I could no longer care for him at home, sadly. But this time, fortunately, his dementia had reached the point that he wasn't aware he was no longer living in his home. But this repeated falling was a sign to me that it was time for him to move to where there were people who could safely help him up from the floor. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

There are dozens of great solutions on YouTube... these will tell you how to help her get up with both of you participating. (Don't be in too much of rush to get her up... the body needs a bit of time to figure out what happened. Be calm and reassuring and stay by her side until she feels ready to try.) 911 help is always in the wings, don't be afraid to "bother them"... but you'll both feel more powerful if you can figure it out for yourselves.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
Larida, this is perfect and wonderful. Esp. about not rushing--the body needs time to 'figure out what happened', and also, my awareness that mom had already become insecure of her own physical abilities, and was considerably unnerved by the fall. [As would I be--I was a young, healthy competitive distance runner for many years, and the few times I tripped and went down, even though uninjured, it took my body/nerves 2-3 days to fully release the trauma of going down.] Thank you so much, Larida, for your wisdom!!
(2)
Report
Falls happen even with the best precautions, but they will reduce the number. I used a floor alarm -- when the person steps on the mat it will ring an alarm. I disliked bed alarms as it would sound off false alarms, but the floor alarm worked like a charm. It prevented a lot of falls with my mom. Their reflexes are impaired and any kind of narcotic or psychotropic increases the risk substantially, so I never allowed any doctor to prescribe anything of that sort.

If she is on Medicare OR Medicaid get your doctor to order a Hoyer lift and learn how to use it. Eventually my mom got totally bedridden so I used it very often to transfer her from her bed to the living room chair. You can also get hospital beds and other things with a doctor's order.

You can also order FALL MAT. Getting out of bed is the most common place a person falls. This will cushion the fall.

Keep the room uncluttered, and remove obstacles. Keep a small light on. Side rails for shower. all kinds of things you can do. Medicare/Medicaid does not cover side rails though, and you have to install them yourself. No big deal -- if I can do it anybody can.

EMS (911) will help get your loved one off the floor without charge. They get those calls all the time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
I wish that EMS would simply have helped me with getting my mom up (and check for broken bones and massive stroke that I might've missed). Once I called those 3 numbers, it was no turning back: "go straight to ER via ambulance, be admitted for 48 hours, and be charged for ambulance and at least 10 expensive diagnostic procedures, as required by law.
(0)
Report
Lots of great advice above so I won't repeat it. One thing I noticed was WHERE Mom fell and it was nearly always at night when she was heading to the bathroom.

There were plenty of night lights so Mom could see. Her house was very small so there was a long dresser and doors and walls to support her if she was unsteady. But there was a three-foot-gap in her bedroom where she always fell. Since I couldn't figure out how to put up a bar in that space without blocking her closet or the other dresser, I placed unused--and heavy--dining chairs with the backs facing her walkway for support. She had things to support her the entire distance to the bathroom She never fell again.

She was obese and there was no way for me to lift her. I put a dining room chair in front of her and together we'd get her on her hands and knees. She grasp the chair and we'd slowly get her legs under her so she could slip onto the chair and catch her breath then stand up.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
THIS is how we 'do it'!!
(0)
Report
Get a judo belt. Wrap around her waist and tie with square knot. Use belt to help life her. Make sure you use a wide stance and use your butt and leg muscles to life. Always move in 1 direction (no lift and turn in same motion).
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
Thank you!!!!!
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
My mom was taught to crawl to a couch or chair and pull herself onto it. One person I know used an ironing board to get her dad up by having him roll onto it and slowly pull up the end his head is on. That said, the lift assist is the safest way to go.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
Yes!!! As I've said, in California, there wasn't such a thing as calling for a 'lift assist'. I improvised like you did with your mom, and as she did with her own dad. My mom was ALL in with these 'in case' plans!
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
As someone said call 911. I asked for manpower assist and the local fire station responded.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The best thing to do is call 911. They are there in a matter of minutes and the firefighters are great. The other good thing is if they are hurt, they are ready to bring them to the hospital.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
rovana Feb 2020
Sometimes the money and charges are a big issue. Our volunteer fire dept. will do a lift assist and not charge, but other jurisdictions will charge.
(0)
Report
In Texas, I call 911 and tell the operator " this is a non-emergency call and I just need a "lift assist", and the firemen come out and lift my husband and check him out for any cuts or bruises and do vitals. If your loved one needs to go to the hospital, then you can take them to the ER in your personal vehicle or they will get EMS to transport to closest hospital.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Davenport Feb 2020
I posted about my own personal response to falls. One of the major reasons I finally took that route was due to the fact that EVERY time I called 911, they ALWAYS insisted on taking mom to hospital in the ambulance. I was NOT allowed to drive her to ER or Urgent Care for a basic evaluation. Either they implied, or I wrongfully inferred, that this was a legal protocol. I eventually learned that mom COULD refuse to be taken, but the process required each of us to sign a multipage legal release.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter