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She had rectal prolapse and was going to the bathroom a lot and was using 2 rolls a day. After the situation was corrected she is using one roll a day. It’s either going to cost plumbing problems or break her. Is there anything I can do? She does have dementia.

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Have you considered a bidet toilet seat?

https://wiki.ezvid.com/best-bidet-toilet-seats

(Full disclosure - I've never used one of these but I've always wanted to try one. Can you imagine finding a a shop with a showroom?🤣)
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JuliaRose Aug 2019
Bidet toilets are fantastic! It really works to get the area clean down under, as long as you get a good stream of water that isn’t too intense! Lol. Most have a knob so you can adjust this. Pat with TP to dry and to make sure it’s clean, and that’s it! Very easy. We added one to the toilet a few years ago. Now that my husband can’t sit tall on the toilet, I’m looking into a handheld bidet (like a water bottle with an attachment) because I imagine what I’m doing now, cleaning with many wet wipes, can cause irritation. A well aimed, refreshing squirt that drips into the commode might help.
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You can hang onto an empty cardboard roll that had toilet paper on it and from another roll (kept out of sight) drape some toilet paper onto the empty cardboard roll. Then just replace toilet paper on the cardboard roll as needed. Basically, you'll doling out rations of toilet paper.
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Thank you. I think this will work.
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I agree with Eye. Limit the tp or possibly provide limited amount of flushable wipes. I’m running into the problem of Mom flushing too many flushable wipes so am limiting as I’m hearing they aren’t all that flushable friendly.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 2019
Virtually no 'flushable wipes' will break down after they are flushed, and they cause huge 'fat bergs' that cost the sewage facilities millions of dollars. There is no 'too many' except nil, or the ones that go into the garbage. Take them out of the bathroom!
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My grams has a toilet paper and tissue problem. She will stuff what appears to be a box of tissues in her shirt over the course of the night lol. She was going through a lot of toilet paper when she first moved in with me and I decided to downgrade to the thin 1000 sheet rolls which are a bit harder for her to waste. The fluffier toilet paper flows too freely and is easier for them to keep rolling. I don't know if this will help but it worked for us.
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Thank you for your suggestion. I will down grade and use this method of placing tissue on a empty roll.
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Buy a portable bidet, less than $40 at Lowes.
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cetude Aug 2019
If the person has dementia they won't be able to use a bidet. However, I use one and they are absolutely marvelous.
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If it hasn’t been considered, she may have a medical issue causing frequent BMs, even diarrhea, which you may not know about? If she has silently been dealing with IBSD, or undiagnosed celiac disease, or another disease that affects stool production and consistency, she may not be able to help the amount of toilet tissue needed to get clean, down there. I have finally been properly diagnosed as having not only IBSA, but also BAM. With proper medication regimen, the diarrhea is pretty well controlled. Side benefit is that I clean up with a normal amount of toilet paper now, not the constant wiping, just to clean up after diarrhea. Like maybe 1/4 of what I was needing before correct diagnosis.

Sorry this is graphic, but she could be silently suffering, maybe out of embarrassment. Or dismissive doctors, a huge issue with gut diseases and conditions.
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This is just a caution regarding “flushable” wipes... ‘cause basically - they are about as real as unicorns.

When I was a young teen I plugged up the family throne by trying to flush some Kleenex. And - not a huge amount of Kleenex, either.

My father, in his college years had worked at a paper mill and used the occasion of my Kleenex clog to educate me on paper fiber.

It seems, that paper products such as Kleenex are made with a tighter weave than regular toilet paper and therefore are harder to break down with water when flushed. This applies to the higher quality brands of toilet paper as well. So, when the cartoon mama bear tells her baby bear on the TV commercial that he can use less - it’s more than just the implication that quality is the reason why.

Of course, this same weave applies to “flushable” wipes. I actually read the fine print on a travel pack of “flushable” wipes recently. It said to only flush one wipe at a time. Seriously? It’s got to be a pretty immaculate pooper who can get clean with ONE wipe.

Back when Rainman was born, The Donor insisted we use cloth diapers. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea and searched for a way to make using cloth diapers less icky. The salvation came by way of “flushable” diaper liners. Ummm - our toilet plugged in less than 24 hours of bringing my baby boy home. You’d of thought I would have known better having received my Toilet Paper Tutorial in my teens. It was an expensive lesson learned with the clog way down the line and the plumber having to call in the big gun from a special truck that housed the worlds longest “snake”.

So... back to the point. Basically, there is no such thing as a “flushable “ wipe.

In the wise, wise words of my father so many - many - years ago: “Only three things go into the toilet - S.T.P. (visualize a fatherly looking man holding up fingers as he counts ‘em down) Sh!t, toilet paper and p!ss”.

... and not too much toilet paper at that. Not if you’re using a nice, quality brand. And, not without multiple courtesy flushes in between every couple of wipes.

“Here endeth the lesson”.
~ Sean Connery as Jim Malone;
The Untouchables.
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disgustedtoo Aug 2019
"... and not too much toilet paper at that."

I will back you up on that! My mother had a running battle with dad clogging things up - between his larger poo and wrapping the TP around his hand, resulting in too much paper AND wadding it, he would clog the toilet up and then make it worse by trying to clean up rather than getting mom to help!

I dislike the "premium" brand of TP (although I don't like Klingons, I don't like the foofy TP either) and avoid putting anything besides your dad's S.T.P. in the toilet. The cat litter I use is corn based and proudly proclaims "septic safe" - but I will NOT flush that! If I had one cat and was on a sewer system, perhaps, but even then, there is a lot of plumbing before your "flush" gets to the tank or sewer system! Clogging could get VERY expensive. I do flush some of their solid waste (for the boxes positioned near a toilet), which will include a little bit of the litter, but absolutely will NOT take the chance of flushing the clumps outright!
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Can you require that NO TP gets flushed, but instead placed into a bucket (lined with plastic bag) next to the toilet? Even if just the urine paper gets bagged instead of flushed reduces the amount flushed.
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HVsdaughter Aug 2019
Sounds terribly smelly and like much more work for the caregiver.
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I too LOVE the Bidet I bought my sweet elderly mom on Amazon $35. Like previous comments, be careful of the pressure stream. Low is best. She is no longer having toilet, cleaning issues and feels fresh after each use. Use TP to pat dry afterwards. It's been a very positive experience not to mention a good conversation piece to guests. I first heard of the bidet on this website that has been so helpful. It was very easy to install.
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Buy more toilet paper. You can still find "Scot's" but no longer 1000 sheets to the roll. You don't have to purchase double ply.

Be very thankful she can still go to the bathroom instead of wearing Depends.

If you're really that concerned, offer to clean her when she's done. I had to clean my DH and it's really not that awful. I used Baby Wipes because the sizing was better for us than adult wipes.
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I'm not sure here.  You say (had) a rectal prolapse?   Has the prolapse been surgically corrected?  If not that should be step one.  A rectal prolapse can have a variety of complications for the patient.

Is going to the bathroom excessively a learned behavior in response to the prolapse that has been repaired?  If so, then she may need assistance learning to trust that she is ok now and may need to learn a new schedule with new cues.

Like has been pointed out, she may be having other issues that have exacerbated the memory of or the reality of the prolapse.  Irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's Disease, diverticulitis and more.  It may be time for a medical consult and additional testing.

Good luck.
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disgustedtoo Aug 2019
In the original post OP says "After the situation was corrected..."

Could there be additional issues? Perhaps. Having it checked could be advised, but it sounds more like this became a habit, and with dementia it will likely continue.
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Another option for preventing toilet plugs (after minimizing what goes down) is pouring cheap bleach (bottle) down the toilet. Let it sit in toilet for 30", then flush.
I do this once a month for prevention.(toilets and drains)
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MJInslee Aug 2019
Except in my understanding, chlorine flushed down toilets is not good for the environment or the water systems. Please look into this before doing the bleach cleanse. Thanks.
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If only providing a minimal amount on the "roll" works, go for it! Out of sight (or out of paper!) might work - she may then ask for more, but if she doesn't, you win!

I call my mother the 'Tissue Monster' - she never had any real medical issue, but old habit of carrying tissues has become a big deal - I find her carrying around tissues, napkins, TP, stashing it under her pillows, etc. She has dementia, so there's no real way to resolve the issue. She likely is using too much TP as well, but she lives in MC, so I can't really monitor that. Often when I go to visit, her TP roll is empty, so I have to ask for more from staff (originally when she moved in, they required us to provide TP - THAT was a royal PITA.)

(PITA = Pain In The *ss)
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Your mother might really be having trouble getting clean after a bowel movemen. Intestinal problems like IBS make it harder to "finish" the BM and messier to clean. You don't want her to leave the bathroom dirty. Get Mega rolls of moderate grade toilet paper and encourage her to flush every few wipes to avoid clogging the toilet.
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Consider a spray bottle with warm water to spray "down there" generously before she wipes. The TP should be to pat dry not to clean up.
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How about substituting a wet washcloth that can be used initially, then laundered afterwards?  When most of the waste is cleaned up from the body, then use the TP as the final wipe.  Have tons of "rags" available to use and "recycle" by laundering them each week.  If she is still cognizant to use them and place them in what used to be called a diaper pail for laundering later on, then the TP use will decline.  Also, use Rid-X to help break down the TP in the meantime.  That is what the manufacturer states is its use--call them and ask.  Most products have a helpline on their product label.
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
She has dementia so if it’s not something that she is use to doing she won’t continue with it. And I can’t go with her to the bathroom every time that she goes. She will just pull a long piece then wipe and then get another long piece and wipe. She will repeat this about 5 times. So now I am rolling off about 5 sheets and give it to her. She’ll use it and get up. But, I can’t got to the bathroom with her all day. I do leave stacks of 5 sheets lined up for night use (about 6) and when I go to her room the next morning they are all gone. I’m willing to try anything though.
Thank you for your suggestion.
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I have had a recotocyle repair. My son just got a case of large hygiene wipes, and I keep a swing top trash can next to the toilet. Buy in bulk! Buy 2 ply that is strong enough not to tear easily. Keep her fingernails clipped and groomed! When they are long they tear thru paper, so she will wad up more.
You can keep a box of non- latex gloves in reach. This will protect her hands and she may use less of a wad of TP if her hands are kept clean.
Miralax might help. I like that, as do doctors because you can adjust dosage day to day. Maybe a half cap or less some days.
What is most important is that she does not wipe fecal material to the front... urethra area. It's very expensive but find the best affordable brands and buy in bulk. It is cheaper than co-pay & deductable for 1 hospitalization or ER visit for a UTI..for which she is at higher risk. That can cause ammonia build up in the body and brain, or back up and infect kidneys. These are very real risks.

TP is a huge expense for me too but using a lot prevented urinary complications from a related issue. Definitely have her flush several times while wiping!

Using all that TP could save her life!
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Thank you.
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A bidet might help, but is also cost prohibitive. IBS-D is a serious problem for me and I go through massive amounts of TP even when using prescription loperamide. It really can't be helped. I buy Scott single ply which doesn't clog up the toilet.
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Thank you.
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Good grief! How’s your water bill??? My Mom doesn’t have rectal prolapse but does the same. She’s been checked many times for UTI, always negative. Always in bathroom, often not even going!!
By the way, our water bill has gone from $89/month to over $140/month since she moved in 8 mos ago!!!
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Water bill hasn’t changed much but this has only been going on for about 4 weeks so we’ll see. I may have to ask the Doc to check her for UTI. But she drinks plenty.
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As several of us have shared, please have her checked medically, for all the medical conditions that can affect stool. I just read your post about leaving out about five rounds worth, laid out for her at night. This sounds like she is up in the night to use the loo.

You haven’t shared whether she has diarrhea, so I’m going to go there, just in case. If she is seen by a gastro, it could be key, that she gets up at night to toilet. Do you know if she uses it all at one sitting, or five bathroom events? If it’s nighttime diarrhea, waking her up to go, it’s not IBSD. She may have more than one medical condition at play. I’m throwing this out because doctors can be lazy diagnosticians, labeling everybody with chronic diarrhea as having IBSD. I happen to have IBSD, as well as BAM. Plus, I have unrelenting bladder spasms. All those large muscles ‘down there’ more often than not, when a woman has IBSD, she will be highly likely to have bladder spasms, creating a sense of urinary urgency, constantly. As my own muscle that closes to keep urine from leaking out at the wrong time does not completely close, I have to constantly urinate, to keep my bladder empty. The emotional, mental component associated with IBSD, isn’t turning on the plumbing when we are sleeping. However, an excess of bile acid circulating will cause a person to wake with pain, and urgent diarrhea. So, it will need to be determined if she has stool she is cleaning, small amounts of urine with sense of urgency from bladder spasms, or if it’s a habit she has developed. Your feedback to a doctor could be key in getting to the root of the problem. When a person has both IBSD and Bladder Spasms, the use of dicyclomine (generic Bentley) will relax the long muscles, which helps with both conditions. If she has nocturnal wakenings with urgent diarrhea, assuming you are in the US, she cannot have the nuclear test to assess that, but a trial of the bile acid binder, Cholestyramine, can be attempted, to see if it’s the liver not taking the bile acid back up once digestion has been processed.

I’m sorry to be so graphic, but I sure hate the idea of her suffering silently, if there is a medical reason behind it. You are a good daughter to be so concerned.
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Suggest adding to the toileting regimen moist Cottenelle toilet wipes. The Cottonelle toilet wipes also come with a hanger that can be attached to the wall and kept in the container that they are sold in. Then you can buy replacement wipes as necessary. Much cleaner toileting.
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Yes, it will cause plumbing problems. In many countries abroad people do not put TP in the toilet. They use a separate receptacle. It is not much unlike having receptacles for tampons and pads.
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Lady2, mom has dementia. I do not have anything helpful to add other than she has dementia. She is not able to learn or understand new processes. She has been wiping all her life and trying to change her process, I would think, would do nothing other than frustrate you and her. Some things you just need to stay on top of and let go.
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ladytootall4 Aug 2019
Hi Gladimhere. Mom has just started doing this the last month. I can’t afford plumbing repairs so a little frustration will have to be something I have to risk.
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My father does the same, I buy a box of 1000 wipes and he spent on 10 days but I am grateful he still uses the toilet.
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Couple of ideas to help save some money, but you will need a bit of time.

You can make homemade hygiene wipes, 2 tablespoon each baby shampoo and baby oil per 2 cups of water, I use distilled water. You can make a gallon at a time and either soak the paper towels, Viva is great, or use a spray bottle and dampen the paper towel. It doesn't need to be washed off and you don't get any drag, know what I mean. You can also use this recipe with washcloths. I am super sensitive and I have never had any issues, we started making baby wipes for our granddaughter and she didn't have any problems either.

2nd, to ensure that the toilet paper you purchase breaks down, put 3 or 4 squares into a clear glass of water wait a couple of minutes and swish around, if it is still squares you will have problems. It should start dissolving almost immediately.

We did this when we were full time RVing and I was not willing to pay .75 per roll of toilet paper. Also, most will say septic safe. I still tested and found that septic safe means different things.
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Bellator Aug 2019
Why would you make home made hygiene wipes?
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Keep n Eye on the Situation. Be Happy she is NOT incontinent Here, dear. I would Worry Too over my Plumbing but to Solve This, Don't be Miffed, Keep an eye on Mom and her One Roll Now, Toilet roll.
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My mom, too, was using 1 TP roll a day, but I wasn't worried about the cost, I was happy that she still could use the toilet by herself at 82. However, my house is old and the pipes are old and the toilets have clogged up before, so that was what concerned me.

I put a trash can next to the toilet and have her deposit the used TP in there, so no throwing TP into the toilet. My mom has Alz. but was able to understand and do as I asked. I hope your mom can, too. It may take you a few weeks to train her, but it's time well spent.
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When reading this again, had a thought. Are you using the soft 500 sheets to a roll? If so, change to Scott 1000.
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How about replacing other bathroom rolls before they are done and then putting the 1/4 or 3/4 roll in her bathroom so her "full" roll isn't actually full? Maybe even that combined with wipes or a washcloth so she can wipe and then clean?
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Intherecliner Aug 2019
To deprive someone of toilet paper with nothing to replace it is a bad idea.

There are health risks that can occur when someone does not completely clean themselves after a bowel movement, so it isn't "MAYBE" it is that you HAVE to replace the toilet paper with something substantially more efficient.

Otherwise, you're just reducing the patient into a flunkie and taking away their privacy.
The suggestion of a bidet is a good one. Wet washcloths, are what they use in the nursing home but do not let them get flushed down the toilet or absently used to clean someone's butt and then on their face, as people have been known to do.


You can also just fill up an old plastic container with water and use it for cleaning and it's nearly free of charge and highly affective.
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Several options
1. accept the usage if she can flush early and often.

2. Bidet, if she can handle it

3. With assistance, a sitz bath is a great way to get an elder clean. I found this worked well for my dad, who had never tried it before. He found it very comforting too. It takes time but less time than he spent unsuccessfully trying to get clean.
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