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I'm excited about the New Year coming, but I'm not sure why. Maybe cuz it's wonderful to see 2018 go..., (it's been a really bad year for me). Can't help but hope that 2019 will bring something better. Even if my hopes only last for a few months, it's a good feeling. I haven't felt hopeful in a while, so I'm enjoying it ☺. How about you?

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I have found all of you, so I know it's going to be a better year!! :)
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
Very true☺
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There's a Russian joke about that. A pessimist is talking to an optimist...

O: Well, it's been tough going, but I'm always hopeful - how about you? How are things with you?

P: Terrible, terrible - it's not just the political situation, the economy's tanking, my business is hitting the ground; my wife's going to leave me, my son's a drunk, my daughters, one's dropped out of college and one's in jail - things just can't any worse...

O: Oh I'm sure they can!
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
Haha... That's great!
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2018 was a very, very rough year, Sadly, a lot of the things that were "bad" are going to carry over, as that is just the way it is.

I learned a lot and hopefully I will be smarter for having had some bad experiences lately. Helped out a friend who turned out to not be a friend after all, but a taker and master manipulator---so I am bruised and sad.

DH had 2 major heart attacks in the summer and he is so slooooowly recovering from those, very depressed and tired. I'm tired of fussing him, and he has to step up and do more...

Sadly, the fact we change the calendar on midnight on Dec 31st does not make everything "better"....it's really just a "fresh start" in our hearts and minds.

But, all in all, I am hopeful that the good will far outweigh the bad---hope springs eternal, God willing, we'll make some forward progress in 2019.
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
True☺. Hope on.
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Trying to be excited that a New Year may bring about good changes and some sort of revival within myself.
I look forward to turning the page in the calendar to January, because it always seems therein lies potential for a new beginning and a better year.
Praying for all of you a better year. We can hope.
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
Well said Smeshque.
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I started exercising 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night for the last few months. Feel better. I've lost a few pounds. Woohoo! I am hopeful I will lose 4 more pounds in the coming year. Why 4? It's my lucky number. I think it's achievable.
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BlackHole Dec 2018
You go, Polarbear! Keep up the good work!!
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Tiger, I am glad you are looking to 2019 with hope, and I will take your cue to do the same. Sometimes I ruminate on the status of my aging and demanding parents too much, which accomplishes nothing. Other times, I "what if" about my husband's cancer returning which also is not good. One thing I know for sure is that projecting negativity into the future does not serve me well. If I stay centered in the peace in my heart, I find things are so much better. So I will move into 2019 with mindfulness on that. Even with the bad stuff this year with my parents, it has given me clarity and growth which I will carry into 2019 and for that I am hugely grateful.
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
So true☺, thanks GingerMay🎄🙋✌.
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Well if I am not embroiled in a possible impending lawsuit, if my son's move across the country goes smoothly, if I am able to sell our house then the next year may turn out well but if all those things don't work out I doubt I will be finding joy in 2019. But I would love to have a positive year. Glad you have hopes for yours.
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
I hope those things turn out well 4 you.✌
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I'm trying to be hopeful about 2019. 2018 has been a really rough year. I think I get anxious about it sometimes too. We'll see...hopefully it's better :)
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anonymous828521 Dec 2018
Agree wholeheartedly
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Another day on the calendar.
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I’m not excited about it. 2018 was terrible. We started things off in Feb with MIL being turned down for a lung transplant. I knew she would be denied so I wasn’t surprised by the outcome. 2 weeks after that, she was given 3 months to live. After a stressful 3 months on hospice, we lost her. Then found out the theft of a large sum of money and had to deal with that.

Now we have some big issues with my FIL needing to be taken care of. And I am going to have to be the bad wife as usual because.....I refuse to let any of this burden our family. My husband has his own health issues we are dealing with and at the end of the day, we aren’t the ones who moved his dad out here. My BIL and his wife did, knowing the condition he was in. My FIL wasn’t even much of a dad to these kids. He was hardly around when they were growing up and has hardly been around in the 20 years I’ve known my husband. Anyway

In July my BIL and his wife moved my FIL out here to live with them & help pay their new mortgage. He’s been in poor health for over a year now. He was diagnosed with stage 0 cancer so it hasn’t been treated yet. He’s had all his teeth pulled and his dentures are too big or something so he won’t wear them and doesn’t eat much. He’s not able to walk much and needs assistance getting up.

my husband has his own health problems he’s dealing with. He needs a 2nd back surgery. It’s workmans comp too. Workman’s comp recommended his Norco RX be cut down to 30 pills and then they cut it to 0 pills and the doctor won’t prescribe it anymore because of that so he is in excruciating pain all the time. They just denied an MRI to see what is going on to cause all this pain. Hubby asked the dr to put in the request for surgery and she said she can’t because the last MRI is 2 years old! So is a nightmare situation.

So my FIL is hospitalized for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. He’s in the ICU with blood pressure. The hospital is 30 minutes away. My husbands siblings called Thursday to say that a social worker wanted to meet with all 3 of them to talk about dads wishes and get a POA set up. They wanted him to go over there yesterday at 2:30. We had an appt in that area at 10am and we planned to visit him afterwards. They weren’t happy when he said he wasn’t going to drive back over there at 2:30 and that he would talk to his dad & disnf need a social worker there. All my FIL wanted was to tell them that he wants a DNR and no machines. He wanted all 3 to make decisions for him when he can’t but my hubby explained that it can’t be that way, he needs to pick one person so he picked my BIL. My hubby told his siblings their dad needs to be in a nursing home. So we’ve got to apply to long term care medi-cal. When it comes down to it, I don’t know if my BIL and SIL will actually be on board with that. FIL is, he just worries about paying for it.

I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. There will be backlash from my FILs side of the family if he goes into a nursing home. He has been here for 5 months. If my BIL and SIL think my husband is going to drop everything for them and FIL, they are in for a rude awakening. I knew this was going to happen! I knew he couldn’t take care of himself and my BIL & his wife weren’t going to do it! I’m a SAHM and I am waiting for someone to suggest I take care of him. That’s not going to happen. My family comes first. I’ve got enough on my plate with my husbands situation (he’s not easy to live with at times right now because he’s in so much pain). My own mother is not doing well (COPD).

So 2019 isn’t looking good as we will be starting the year trying to figure out what to do about my FIL, and trying to get my husband his surgery or more pain pills.
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