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I looked in on my husband through our camera (I was at work) and noticed he was on the phone (he never uses the phone). I turned on the speaker just in time to hear him giving his entire SSN. I started screaming into the microphone for him to stop and hang up the phone. This went on for around 5 min until my friend happened to get home from work and heard me screaming through the intercom. She went in and took the phone from him and told the person she was not to send him anything and to never call again. She hung up on the lady, and not five seconds later the lady called back. At this point in his ALZ he only knows his name, DOB, and SSN. I’m so worried that he gave all of that information to a scammer. What can I do?

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So Jennifer3 - were you able to get everything taken care of (close account, freeze SS# for both of you, find a phone screening tool)? There are others who can learn/benefit from hearing how things worked out for you (and we'd love to know that all is well for you!)
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Contact Equifax and they will notify the other two bureaus. Sign up for a service like Privacy Assist offered by many banks for a nominal monthly fee, they will notify you if there is any unusual activity. Get him a burner phone, for 911 emergency only.
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disgustedtoo Jun 2019
If you are talking a freeze, you have to contact all 3 bureaus. If it is a fraud issue, you have to file a police report - haven't had to do this, so unclear if one bureau contact is enough, however just giving out the info may not be sufficient for filing the report. There may have to be fraud involved - problem is they may try today, tomorrow, 3 years from now - best to nip this is the bud! The freeze is best and is now FREE for everyone - both freeze and unfreeze (thanks to the Equifax screwup.)

I have been given a free year on two of those services (because of issues someone caused for a lot of us!) and I wouldn't waste a dime on them. Not only did they provide NOTHING, even if they did it is like closing the barn door AFTER the horse is already out. Same with this issue - CLOSE the doors first, deal with the rest later.

I would suggest the freeze and close any/all accounts, requesting new ones if you really need them, even if they are only in OPs name (he might be associated in some way being a spouse.)

NOTE: The Credit Freeze ONLY prevents using your SS# to open new accounts, getting loans/credit cards, rent a place, or in some cases be used during job application. It will NOT protect current accounts. With his name, address, DOB and SS, they can still wreak havoc!!
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You need to go to all three credit bureaus and lock down his SSA# Keep the pin safe. You can always do a call forwarding to your cell phone or to an answering service. My mom gave her ssa # to a scammer and it took 2 years to clean up that mess. Her ssa can not be used for anything now without my approval. I had to cancel EVERYTHING and reopen new checking accounts, credit cards etc. I transferred all her mail to a P O Box and gave her only the safe stuff. I hope you have a P.O.A , if not you need to have all the legal stuff in place so you can help him without jumping through a ton of hoops. Do not put your name on any of his accounts etc, If something happens you will be responsible for payments, Use the P.O.A to manage his accounts, you can also get a trust and have a clause that if he become incapacitated (You will need a letter from a Doctor) you will become his Guardian. AARP has free legal advice.
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When a friend died we found out she was being hooked by Reader's Digest marketing with promises of cars, trips etc - much had Singapore, Hong Kong return addresses but local postage - so we took to ones that were the most expensive to return & wrote 'UNSOLISITED MATERIAL - RETURN TO SENDER' - that worked better that telling them she had died but it took 3 months for it to stop - FYI ... if you open it you can't do this so leave it sealed
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There are call screening services which will only allow incoming calls to connect to your phone if they are from approved numbers, or if you allow the call specifically.

This is what happens from the caller's end: you ring the number. You hear "this line is being monitored by Acme Call Guardian Services. When you hear the tone, please state your name then press the hash key." So you do that, and then you hear an additional ringtone, and then eventually either your friend says "oh hello you!" or you get a further message saying "your call cannot be connected at this time."

I would expect this system to deter most cold-call scoundrels; but even if some do hang on your husband would also have to comply with the instructions at his end before they could get through, and it doesn't sound as if he'd be able to.

But to be honest: if his dementia is becoming this advanced, is it time he was not left unattended anyway?
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Hermacj Apr 2019
Where do I get more info on this Acme Call guardians service my Aunt is being scammed out of a lot of money
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Lots of sage advice here. I guess the simplest solution is to get rid of the land line and have only a cell for you. Also, I am curious if you have thought about hiring a caregiver to be with him during the day when you are at work. He will be safer.
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That's easy, take away the phone and get him a 911 call button during the times you are not at home.
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Do a search on your phone (home or cell) and find that number. Place a block on that phone number. In addition, contact your financial institution and describe the situation in case charges show up on your bank accounts. Tell them that your husband is not of lucid mind and to kindly remove the charges, if any show up. Also, inform the financial institution that he is no longer an authorized user on any of the accounts.
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(1) Get a legal POA. (2) Freeze his credit through Experian and all other major credit reporting agencies. Do this by certified letter, so you have clean files. Use the same letter, send to multiple addresses. Then you will be fine. Optional (3) contact the asocial Security Administration, but this probably won’t help additionally.
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worriedinCali Mar 2019
she can’t get legal POA. If he’s this incompetent, then he can’t sign a POA document.
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My father is 85 and no mental problems but I tell ya he will give away the farm AND the animals too! Can you have the calls rerouted to your cell phone so they won’t even go to the house? Can you do without a home phone and just use your cell phone? Also you can place a lock on your social security files so no body can access any info. On your credit file you can place a fraud notice too. I get the scammers on our home phone every hour. I tell them to remove me from their call list and hang up. They continued to call from one company so I stayed on the phone line. When a real person answered I explained that I asked them to remove me from their list and they call every hour. She denied it. I told her these calls have now moved to harassment & stalking so keep talking because my phone is tracking where exactly the call is coming from. I will press charges and you will be prosecuted. They hang up and have never heard from the company again!
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Get some medium to large piece puzzles by TRU-GRIP for him to work on and keep him occupied.
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Call 3 credit report agencies & have fraud alert & credit freeze
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For my home phone, I installed the Nomo Robo. I did it online through my internet/phone company. It has done a grand job of keeping robo callers at bay! The biggest thing one has to remember is not to answer the phone on the first ring (which some elderly people won't do). I'm still young enough to remember not to answer phone numbers I don't recognize, and I refuse to answer any call that gives no name, since I have caller ID on my phones. For my cellphone, I just don't answer any call that is not someone I recognize. I always believe if the call's important, the person will leave a message. I block plenty of numbers on my phone!

Sorry you have to go through this with your husband. You have great information that has been shared, and I trust you'll get a good resolution in this matter.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
Hate robo calls. Thanks for this information!
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Fraud alerts may help, however in general these expire after 90 days (checking FTC, this has changed: "UPDATE:  As of September 21, 2018, the law says credit freezes are free for everyone, and alerts now last one year (not 90 days)."

You can renew them, but who needs more tasks to suck up their time?

All quoted information came from the FTC site, link at the end of this post.

"With a fraud alert, businesses must try to verify your identity before extending new credit. Usually that means calling to check if you’re at a particular store attempting to take out new credit. With a credit freeze, no one – including you – can access your credit report to open new accounts. You’ll get a PIN number to use each time you want to freeze and unfreeze your account to apply for new credit."

Personally, I would go with the freeze, as painful as it might be to unfreeze temporarily if needed. Clearly if someone has stolen your information, they can likely change the number to call and pretend to be you!

One nice feature on the fraud alert is you only have to contact ONE bureau: "The one you contact is required to notify the other two."

However, I prefer the freeze - NO one can get new credit, etc unless they have the information (aka PIN) to unfreeze it.

IF you are an identity theft victim, the alert is extended to seven years, however it is more complicated ("...you’ll also need to mail or upload your Identity Theft Report which you can create at IdentityTheft.gov.")

I cannot tell from a quick look, but I believe you need to know more information about the scammer AND file a police report. Although freezing requires doing it at all three bureaus, there is so much more peace of mind - but as noted in another response - this will NOT protect any existing accounts! You need to review ALL accounts you have and make necessary changes (in this person's case, remove husband from all accounts, open new ones in her name only.)

Go here for details (includes a link to filing a report):
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/blog/2017/09/fraud-alert-or-credit-freeze-which-right-you
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As others have said, definitely use the information others provided to freeze his credit at all three major credit bureaus. Thankfully this is now free to all, after the Experian breach. Note there are other bureaus that we are not generally aware of, but these are the big three.

Do also find out through your phone service provider if they have any kind of blocking tools, perhaps a child proofing tool that you can have applied. I have never had to use one, so am not familiar with what's available out there. Just blocking the number that called isn't enough. With "spoofing", they just use another fake number. You could spend a lot of time one day blocking numbers and then have to repeat it again the next day with a whole new set of numbers!

You indicated that you use the phone to contact him, so the suggestions for routing calls to you or turning off the sound are not viable options! There should be some tool/service available to at least limit these incoming/scam calls.

The credit freeze isn't always foolproof though AND does NOT protect everything. I froze mine years ago and although the first unfreeze I needed went okay, the more recent one (Equifax), despite having a pin number and knowing all the answers to the questions failed... I had to search around to find an alternate number (the main number is a menu system, no customer service option) and wend my way through various menu options until I was able to get a live person on the line.

I have little use for these "services" offered that "watch" your accounts (and charge you.) Because of various oopsies by others, I have had a few of these given for free. They really did NOTHING. I would not waste a dime on them.

Although it is a pain in the butt sometimes, the freeze should be recommended to EVERYONE. That said, KEEP IN MIND that the freeze will ONLY prevent someone using your credit information opening NEW accounts, getting a job, renting, loans, etc, including YOU. It will NOT protect ANY existing accounts or any credit cards you currently have.

Jennifer3 - I would recommend you freeze your credit and his, but also review ALL your accounts/credit cards. If he is on ANY of your accounts, close/cancel and open new accounts or get replacement cards in YOUR name only.

As others have noted, that donotcall list really doesn't help with today's scammers. 1) they don't care if you are on the list and 2) many of the "robocalls" are also "spoofing" the numbers used, to trick people into answering. If my cell doesn't show the name of someone on my contact list, I dismiss the call. I already new the spoofing was being used because I would get calls from all over the country and the exact same recording would be left on voice mail. My current plan only allows 5 blocks, and with the constantly changing numbers the scammers use, this is useless. I do plan to check out this new free offering from my provider - I don't answer the calls, but it is annoying to be interrupted, or to have to call in to delete any messages left...

To the person who said they don't call your mother's cell... beware. Having a cell does NOT protect you! I sometimes get 4-5 calls in a day, all from different numbers! The more recent ones DO try to use the area your phone is "from", as part of the "trick". I moved, but kept my old number, so for the most part they haven't figured that out yet.
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To everyone that says the do not call registry doesn't work, it does but you have to update it every couple of years. It is not a one time forever deal.

Call and update, then put a reminder in your calendar to do it every year or two.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2019
Sure, it works for credible callers (exclusions apply for charities, political, and any user agreements that bury the exclusion in your "agreement", etc), however it does NOT work for many robo-callers and in particular SCAM callers.

They do not care about any lists and more often than not they "spoof" their numbers, to make it seem like maybe you know the person. THESE are the ones to worry about.

Legit callers, DNC or not, will usually promise to take you off their list if you ask them. These scammers, nope. Best NOT to answer as even their menu options can dupe you (such as press #x to be removed from the list - surrrre, and I see you have a bridge for sale in the desert!), or they can cut parts of recording of your voice to make it seem like you agreed to something.

Anyone not in my contact list, I dismiss the call. I have used the DNC list since it's inception AND updated it many times, but I get now get numerous junk calls from god knows who multiple times a day, and many come from various numbers listed on called ID as some other state, but the IDENTICAL message is left in voicemail. I barely use my phone - most of the usage is these ridiculous calls (dismissed but annoying at the least as they interrupt you, and agitating when they leave messages that you then have to dial in to delete!)

So sure, keep that DNC up to date, but understand it will NOT stop these robo/scam callers.
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My husband got taken for $400.00 in a magazine scam. They sent a contract for him to sign. He brought it to me because he said all he could remember is the lady just got out of the hospital. I called her and cancelled the subscription and fortunately got his money back. While I wasn't home, he also answered the door to a Direct TV sales person who made him think we had to change to their company. I stopped that too. My new problem is letters he is getting for money. He sits and waits for the postal carrier and I just can't get to it before he does. He has been giving $125. a month to one political action committee. About the first he sends them $60. about the fifteenth they send him another letter and he sends them $65. I am trying to get it stopped. I hope he listens to me. If not, I guess my next step is calling the political action committee. What is sad is this was a cause dear to his heart, but enough is enough.

After that one scam, he is afraid to answer the phone. We have Caller ID and his two nieces who are the only ones in his family that call him are calling him on his cell phone.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2019
Get a PO box and have your mail forwarded to it. Be sure to contact ALL legit companies to have your address changed to the PO box#. Forwarding is ONLY good for 1 year. A few items may slip through, but if you talk with postal employees, they may be able to put a hold on all mail.
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One thing you can do is get a hold of your telephone provider and ask them how to block Robo calls. That will be the majority of your scam calls. You set up an account online under your provider and then you have the option of blocking Robo calls and also calls that have blocked phone numbers. That really cut down on those kind of scam calls for us. If there’s a caregiver in the house when I wasn’t there I’d have them answer the phone or listen in on the phone calls and interrupt my client and say no thank you were not interested if he started getting Questions like that.
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I feel your pain. My mom has ALZ and even when it was at the beginning she was falling for schemes, most of which we were able to undo. Now she is pretty far gone, but insists on going through all emails (doesn't understand that you can tag and mass delete). She even writes return emails when she doesn't make a donation to a particular charity/candidate/whatever! So she is stressed about all the "work" she needs to do. My brothers and I are slowly but surely "unsubscribing" her to as many as possible...

One thing that is cutting out the calls is that she is now in Assisted Living (and likely soon in Memory Care) and only has a cell phone. Fewer scammers get through on those phones although no way to avoid completely.

A couple of months ago she was convinced that she was the victim of credit card fraud and cancelled all her credit cards and had them reissued. It ended up that all the charges were her legit charges.

The other thing is that she has relinquished control of her finances. If your dad will do that, you can take over all the credit cards.

Finally, at one point we put a sign by Mom's landline that said "Never give out your Social Security number."

Best of luck!
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It might reassure you for the time being to get one of those LifeAlert systems that monitor everything. Maybe cancel and replace your credit cards and close and open new checking accounts, alert companies of potential for something.
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He cannot be left home alone much longer. This was my mother in law and she blew through 150k with scammers! No joke. Put a forward on home ph that incoming calls go to your cell so u can screen them. Get a life alert type device n keep your cam for remote monitoring. Limit his time alone or consider adult day care unfortunately it’s time.
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Go to Consumer Cellular and get them a Grandpad. The device is very reasonably priced and monthly service is less than a land line in our area. It's simple to use and the caregiver is the administrator. Only people who can call your elderly person is who you have set up in it. My mom was getting taken by scam after scam and now is in assisted living with her grandpad. It is a wonderful device with photos, weather, articles to read, games and more. I am not getting paid for advertising for them, I'm just very impressed with the Grandpad.
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OldArkie Apr 2019
Sounds brilliant! I have to remember when the time comes! I thought about just putting a switch outside and turn phone off when I leave. Leave cell phone for emergency use!
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Lie your a** off. Call whomever you need to and have a male friend, armed with Dad's SSN and other information, cancel whatever looks out of place on his financials. I do a pretty good 92 year old mystified and strident old lady on the phone. I did this from her home phone, so caller id was correct. "Return postage? No way. I'm unable to get to a post office. Please help me get this straightened out." I had to do this a number of times for my Mother-in-law. She was happy to let me, so I did not have to deceive her, just the crackpots on the other end of the line.
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My 92 year old father had a number of "friendly relationships" with "very nice people" who would call and chat with him and learn the names of his children. They lured him in to a number of different "investment" schemes. For example, he thought he was purchasing precious metals when, in reality, they were worthless fake paper certificates. He had saved for many years toward his retirement and savings to help take care of our mother. They ended up losing over $50,000 in one scheme. The scammers were calling frequently - he was an easy target. When we realized what was happening, we finally had to cancel his land line phone number and switched to an unlisted number. He passed away last year. I truly wish the FCC would figure out how to more effectively identify and effectively penalize known telemarketing scammers. This has been going on for so many years and the "Do not call Registry" does not work. People who do not care about the law simply ignore the registry. They use multiple different numbers. However, a little basic investigation could identify and prosecute the telemarketing scammers - if they truly wanted to. We need some "teeth" in our laws. I tried to track down the scammers and learned they simply move their headquarters from state to state and it costs more in legal fees to pursue the offenders than it's worth. They know this and, unless the government gets serious, they will continue to prey on vulnerable people.
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The "no call registry is a joke". They allow charities, political calls and surveys. Everyone I don't want to hear from and charities ask for money. Robo calls just hunt for good numbers.

I had seen the same Charity pop up on my phone for days so I finally picked up. I asked her to take my name off her mailing and phone list. She told me charities didn't have to do that. I told her if I request my name removed, she has to do it. Never heard from them again.
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Oh my word! Your lost is timely! I just saw an advertisement for a small device that you plug in to hour land line thst blocks these kinds of calls. Go online and look for it. It blocks literally thousands of known scam calls that prey on people, especially seniors. Wish i remembered the name of it. Go online and find it. I think it was only $89, well worth it. I have a very similar problem with my 85-year-old mom (need to buy that device for sure). I went to an elder care attorney who told me that I need to send letters to Mom’s creditors explaining her cognitive decline and that she does not understand the consequences of any of her actions -all for future reference. I am thinking it might be a good idea to send a similar letter to the list of agencies posted here, too. As responsible caregivers, we must take care of our own sanity, too. Best of luck.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2019
This device has programed numbers but...there will be some that aren't programed in the unit. The person then has to push a button to block that call. These telemarketers find all kinds of ways to get around the FTC rules. One is robo calls are not to be used.
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So here is a little story about the next phase to expect. Mum with ALZ lived in AL at the time. My brother called her several times to confirm he was coming to pick her up for church. When he got to her room the phone was no where in sight. He tracked the cord to an ottoman that has storage inside! When he asked Mum what the phone was doing in the ottoman she replied. " Oh that thing. It was making too much noise so I hid it in there where it's not so loud." 😳 Eventually they stop using the phone at all.
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Hi..I have same problem. My phone stores all calls & numbers. I still go thru & I have a block button..& block all of them....

Also I set to 2 rings. She rarely hears it...would he benefit from cell phone, emergencies only?
Goodluck...u gotta love our folks!!!!! Lol.
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Go online and register with the "DO NOT CALL REGISTRY". After doing this you should not receive any marketing calls. Register with LIFELINK to monitor credit. If his social security number was used to buy anything, they will back you up.
I had to keep just one landline phone in my upstairs office, where my step dad could NOT get to the landline phone and make random phone calls.
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Midkid58 Mar 2019
The DNC registry does not work. we have all 3 phones registered and still average between 5-10 robocalls per day.
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You can go online to make the freeze by answering a few questions about past addresses, jobs, people you are related to. It took us an hour to do all 3 credit bureaus for both of us while watching a sporting event at home. I would also put a fraud alert on his accounts since he gave away his info.
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