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People do inexplicable things out their own inability to understand behavior that isn’t what they expect.

Whether “helpful” or “harmful” OR NEITHER, it’s a waste of time for both the enquiring party and the person being asked.

“Mom likes to talk about the flowers in her garden” “What a pretty scarf/dress/shirt you’re wearing!” “I’m SO TIRED OF ALL THIS rain/hot sun/wind/cold”.

There are LOTS of peaceful interesting fun things to discuss with people with dementia. “ Neighbor” needs to be part of 3 way conversations with dementia patient, caregiver, and uncomprehending neighbor TO HELP THEM LEARN another style of communication.

If neighbor is incapable of appropriate social interaction, dementia patient should be protected from being interrogated and interaction with interrogating party should be limited.
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I think it’s cruel. Expecting someone who’s rapidly losing their memories to perform on command is unrealistic and rude
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It is stupid. Are they taunting the person, amusing themselves or what? There's no reason to jack up the anxiety of a patient who can't answer those things. Do you want to do something about this or are you just curious?
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Rwolfe Jun 2021
Just curious.
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It does no good to ask someone with dementia what their name is or who they think you are. The person may think they should know who they are, but can't remember. It creates anxiety and embarrassment. Questioning should never be used as a test of cognitive ability. You might want to refer your neighbor to this forum as a resource for dealing with such issues of caregiving.
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Quite honestly, it does neither for the most part. Any bullying tone of voice or shouting would harm a senior with dementia, worsen confusion and frighten them. But repetative stuff doesn't much bother them, and is in fact one of the hallmarks of their own disease. That would be a general answer for you.
My concern is that you think you are hearing shouting and bullying rather than just repetitive speaking??? I am uncertain otherwise how you could hear it from your own residence. If you have reason to suspect abuse call Adult Protective Services in your area and have them check. This may simply be a family member trying to reorient/keep reoriented (it won't work) a Senior who is hard of hearing. Tone is everything.
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Rwolfe Jun 2021
Our homes are quite close together. The tone was not mean and they are a lovely family. Just learning about dementia.
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Thank you everyone! You really are amazing
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