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Dad says he told a company he didn't want a product when they called. It was then it mailed to him anyway, so he says. Turns out the company had his credit card number and charged the items to him. I returned the items, hopefully we will get a refund.


In the near past, he's told banks a charge was fraud, the charge was credited, then later it was reversed by them, and he was charged for those This seems to have escalated with mom's memory impairment?

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Can you tell us if there are other symptoms that your Dad is perhaps incompetent to manage his own affairs financially, because you are describing a few things here that sound like warning signs.

Is the a Spring POA in place in case it is needed in future, so that you or someone else in the family can act for protection of your parents money?

Wish you the best.
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Your Dad needs to stop giving out his credit card number when cold callers ask for it.

It is ASTONISHING how ready people are to do this. I and my ex stared in amazement when his friend, who'd spent his working life in financial services, took a phone call and on request fished his wallet out of his back pocket, took out his credit card, and started reading out the numbers to the caller [picture us in slow-motion both saying "noooooooo...!" and leaping to wrest the phone out of his hands].

Mind you, that's nothing. My aunt got my mother to send fifty pounds to help a nice young lady in Nigeria who wanted to continue her nursing studies. Both of these ladies were university graduates with professional careers who watched the news every day and were not unusually credulous.

What happens to people's brains? Why do they suddenly lay aside - not just scepticism, but - all ordinary caution? Beats me. Anyway.

Where does Dad keep his card normally? If you can persuade him to pick somewhere that's nowhere near the phone it would be a good start.

Most retail banks publish good advice leaflets for consumers about protecting their financial information, keeping their credit cards safe, online security and all the rest of it. Look online, then download and print some for him.

Also consider a call screening service if he doesn't already have one, there are plenty on the market; and some phone companies have systems to block unregistered marketing companies, sign him up for this if his comms provider offers it.

I think that what happens is that older people hear the phone ringing, feel compelled to answer it, and feel compelled to be polite to the person who's taken the trouble to ring them. Then, a few days later, whether through embarrassment or forgetfulness who can say, the older person denies having co-operated. Why in heaven's name they ever felt they have to say yes to whatever offer is made I am genuinely at a loss to explain, but this does seem to be the pattern.
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My FIL to this day claims he has no idea how the people at Girls Gone Wild got hold of his credit card and mailed him the DVD. This was a month after wife number 7 died and he's in his seventies.
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Fawnby Mar 2023
I hope enjoyed the DVD!
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Sadly it's quite "typical" for older folks to fall for all sorts of scams. I can only guess that it's because in the era they grew up in people could be trusted and taken at their word.
Unfortunately those days are LONG gone.

It also sounds like perhaps your dad may have some memory impairment just like your mom. Might be time to have him tested too.
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I told my Mom to tell anyone calling that her daughter handled her money and hang up and she did except for this one call. Do you remember when the VA used to call and sell light bulbs years ago, that was legit. So Mom gets this call "time to order your light bulbs" Mom figured it was the VA. The bulbs were $80. She told them she couldn't afford that. "Well, can u afford this" after a few minutes of no I can't afford that they got her down to 50 ziplock bags. TG she had no credit card so they shipped them with her promise she would pay the invoice. She got the bags and they were cheap ones she could buy at the $1 store. They wanted $30 and $8 shipping. I called and told them they were being returned at their expense. They said keep them and deleted the invoice. I told them to never call her again.

Your father is 92 and will have some mental decline. My Mom handled the money in the household my Dad would have been lost if she went before him. Maybe ur Mom kept him on track. A lot of spouses cover up for the other one. Then when they die, family finds out the surviving spouse is really in early stages of Dementia. I hope you have DPOA which is immediate. You can take over Dads finances. If you don't have it get it before any diagnosis. If he is stubborn tell him if you don't have POA then the State steps in and controls his money. Make sure its immediate. As soon as Dad signs the paperwork, you have the tool to help him. Springing POA means you need a doctor or two to declare incompetence for the POA to be in effect.

Dad probably should have a good physical with labs to make sure nothing physical is going on. A Neurological work up would be good too.
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