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My mother has Alzheimer's and currently resides in a Memory Care Facility. The promises made /advertised are not exactly what is being delivered....residents spending so much time doing absolutely nothing and the facility is very understaffed. I want to move my mother into my home but I would need help as she is incontinent and wheelchair bound. She is on Medicare/Tricare/Ohio Medicaid....is there any help I can get?

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Did your mom or Dad serve during a War. If so she maybe be able to get Aid and Attendance. Contact your County VA office.
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Even if a small amount of financial or home care help is available it's never going to be enough to sustain you through the care of someone who needs memory care, is incontinent, and wheelchair bound. She needs 24 hours a day supervision and assistance and you'll be responsible at least 20 hours of those days. A better solution would be to leave her in the Memory Care facility and visit her frequently. As long as her physical needs are being taken care of by the staff- toileting, changing bedclothes, personal care, etc - you can take care of providing some of the activities, even if it's only a visit every few days. The reality is if she is at the stage of needing memory care there aren't a lot of activities she can really participate in. As long as she's not being abandoned, alone in her room she's probably getting enough stimulation just watching people go by, and the staff doing their work. I've realized my desire to have my dad particpate in activities at his assisted living facility is really for me, not for him. He doesn't want to participate - he enjoys sitting in his chair with the TV on and dozing off.
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The VA according to its newsletters has expanded help for Veteran and their spouses.   Best source is the VA, either one of the local county or state offices, or the local VA center.   They can provide the best information on services for spouses and caregivers.

Do check this out; I was impressed with their service upgrades, although I can't remember everything that they've done.   And my best recollection is that they're offering better in-home services, but do contact them.
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We got a LITTLE bit of help from the VA. 2x/week for 2 hours to do showers and personal care. He was continent at that time. Then when he lost the ability to do anything (ALL ADLs), they provided 4x/week for 2 hours. It's not enough but it did help. I had to private pay for additional help.

I would try to find another memory care place if I were you. I didn't like having all these people coming and going and never having my home to myself.
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