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I have been forced to clean by my family, they threating to "call the welfare office on me" if I did not clean and do as they said and do as someone else said here, they said that I had to do everything he said. Hospice has also said that I have to obey his rules which include, doing everything he says including cleaning out the freezer at 11 PM at night, not being allowed to date even though I am a grown adult and staying with the patient while they go somewhere else when ever they feel like and cook etc. one person that was the patients friend said "that she was hit when she was a kid and had to do as her father said, therefore I have to do as this other person says so that, well so he don't hit me".


I am being sort of vague because my "family" might see this. I am not allowed to use the phone or have any friends that he does not approve of. I've been threated that I will be put into a mental ward if I leave after being told that I'll be kicked out after the patient dies. Of course I have no where to go because my "family" all of them said I could NOT stay with them, they have seen how I am being treated and join in. I refused to let him use my social security number but the hospice nurse was telling him to give her my number. When I said NO, that was deemed argumentative and the hospice nurse chewed me out and said I need to obey his rules which include him signing me up for an life insurance policy, I did not know he had on me and includes them using my social security number against my will.


The patient is 63 and just can't walk, she was signed up for hospice against her will by her husband that had a friend of a doctor that she never seen as a patient and now she is very sick and there not allowing her to see a doctor, she has had pain for 4 days her urine is dark as number 2. Her primary doctor said she was doing better when she was signed up for hospice by another doctor that her husband choice and forged her name without her or her doctor knowing. Hospice here all lie and say that her primary doctor signed here up, her doctor did not, this other doctor did. Now she was no access to her doctor and can't see her heart doctor.

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Who is he? I am not getting any of this, why would he, they or anyone else need your SS#, and want you to purchase a life insurance policy? This entire situation makes no logical sense to me. Quit and get a new job, move to your own place, then you can date anyone you want.
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Shane1124 Aug 2019
Maybe “he” is her father?
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You are very upset and in a difficult situation, but it’s quite hard to understand it all. Could you post again about who is the ‘he’ who is telling you what to do, and who are the ‘family’ members who are saying that you have to do what ‘he’ says. Is ‘he’ the person who is getting hospice, or is it someone else? Who is the ‘she’, the patient who is 63? Is there any reason why you can’t leave and find somewhere else to stay, not with family? You need some help, so please explain.
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It sounds as if our OP, aworker, is afraid that the people he/she is afraid of will identify him/her if the details are too specific.

Aworker, the only thing I can suggest is that you Google "confidential abuse advice line in [your area]" and see if you can find help and advice local to you.

If you're struggling with that and can't find any helpful answers, come back and we can try to think of something else.
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Who is YOUR primary care doctor, for yourself, make an appointment to get yourself into that doc's office your goal is to get your "headaches" evaluated meaning a referral to a neurologist.Since your thought patterns are similar to patterns that happen during oxygen deprivation, which might equate to a blood clot somewhere (worse case scenario). That is the best place to start, get into your docs office, your cranium needs to be MRI or CT scanned

Do you have a CO2 monitor inside your home?? If not can you get one asap???

Can you get outside of that house??Your situation sounds very controlled; if not problematic for your health.

After your doc, evaluates your symptoms, please contact a local elder abuse agency. Explain your situation to someone, within that agency. Since you posted here, then use google to locate the elder abuse contact information.

You sound as if you're very isolated. If you believe that Hospice is acting inappropriately, then obtain copies of whatever you were told to sign...

Minimally, who is in control of the entire situation?? Someone hired hospice and someone is coordinating healthcare. Please update us about your condition. Hugs.
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the victim always gets blamed that's, why so many women end up dead.
if victims say to much, they get in trouble. this society is getting worser and worser for women.
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This is confusing to me. Who are you referring to? Can you be a bit more specific please? Why don’t you private message someone on here if you don’t want your post to be seen? This site has that feature. I am not set up for that right now but message the others who have posted.

Maybe others who have posted can privately message her.

Best wishes and please ease take care of yourself as much as you can.
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I agree, without more background ur post is very confusing.

Hospice is paid by Medicare and a doctor has to order it or Hospice will not get paid.

How old are you? Hospice has no control over you. There responsibility is to the patient. An aide should be coming in to bath the person. A nurse should only be coming in about 3x a week unless needed otherwise.

Like suggested, click on one of our icons. It takes u to our profile page. You can leave a private message checking the little box. No one else will see it.
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update, the person that I will call the patient is now dead. they delayed her medical treatment for days. She wanted to be saved but since she was in hospice she was not .
Her husband illegally put her in hospice, he got another doctor, other then her doctor to sign her up for hospice without her knowing and without her doctor knowing. They delayed treatment for too long. She was Not dying at the time she was put into hospice over a year ago now she is dead.
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Screennamed Aug 2019
So sorry for your loss, it sounds like she died of kidney failure. There's nothing that can be done, now...remember you did the best that you could at the time ...condolences. Please forgive yourself.
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