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My Mom is 91 and living with me. She goes through at LEAST 5 rolls of toilet paper a week. One full bottle of hand soap and extremely ridiculous amounts of tissues and 250 napkins per month. Is this boredom? Is this typical? I am spending so much on paper products not to mention cleaning products. Is there anyone else going through this? I actually may have to pump my septic system soon.

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When I visit my mother at her MC, she is constantly using tissues to dab her nose.

Her purse, which is contains her wallet (same $20 bill for the last two years), and a picture of her brother, is always stuffed with tissues.

She has a trash can, but doesn’t remember what it’s for.

I take her a new box of tissues once a week, if she’s not ill (which she hardly ever is. She will outlive me.) That’s it. If she runs out before that, she has to use toil tissue. I reimburse myself from her funds, so she pays for those.

She uses tons of toilet tissue, but that’s included with her MC bill.

It’s a dementia thing.
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Wow. That is a LOT of paper! I hope that your mom is actually paying for her paper goods. You'll be bankrupt soon at this rate. LOL.

Does she have dementia? If so, she probably does not recognize that she is waaay overdoing it. There are probably ways to curtail this, at least a little. Don't leave extra TP in the bathroom. If you have another bathroom, when that roll gets low, put it in mom's bathroom.
Handsoap - switch out for a bar of soap? Switch to foaming hand soap?
Tissues - give her a hanky? My 97 MIL goes through tons cuz she is constantly dabbing at her nose.
Napkins - switch to cloth? Get smaller ones?

Good luck
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Friend, clearly this arrangement isn't working for you.

Have you given thought to how you might change it?
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From a previous post: "The tension in my home is here and I hate coming home. I had no clue that she was this bad. I work full-time and have to bathe her, feed her, etc. She cannot be trusted to be alone long and none of my siblings help or even care how this is effecting me and my husband. They tell me there is no other choice!!! I'm currently looking to find her assisted living because i will not be able to do this much longer. Had I known what I do now I would never have moved her in. Sometimes I sit outside and cry. "

Your mother has lived with you for 9 months now. If you work full time, then who is with her during the day? Why do your sibs tell you there is no other choice? Why were you the one who had to take her in? What is your mother's financial situation? Are you her POA/HCPOA?
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olddude Aug 2023
Yup, this is why home care never works long term.
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You are listing this under dementia behaviors. So I am assuming that is a problem with your Mom. And if so, the answer is "yes, this is very common". Somehow the activity of cleansing becomes somewhat compulsive for many, and plumbing can be an issue for certain. I wish I had an answer that actually could help you and I hope others do.
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Do you supervise her toileting?
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Friend72 Aug 2023
I do not go into the bathroom with her for toileting just to bathe.
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“She goes through at LEAST 5 rolls of toilet paper a week. One full bottle of hand soap”

My friend’s mom did the same. It was because of dementia. His mom couldn’t remember how to use the right amounts. My friend hired a caregiver, who helps in the bathroom. The problem was completely solved.
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My step-mother who has Front Temporal Dementia, is a paper hoarder, especially used napkins, her purse is always loaded with them, as is her room in MC, we have to dump regularly.

She used to hoard butters, cream cheese and any small leftovers she could when in AL, plus rocks, shells and sticks. She had around 200 shells & rocks alone in her room.

We had to move her to MC because of these issues. She no longer has a refrigerator and when she goes on walks there is an aid with her.

I thought you were going to move her to MC, that would resolve some of these issues.
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First, if Mom has the money, she should be paying for her stuff not u. I so hope you have POA. I would be taking over her checking acct. Any out of pocket I incurred, I would be writing a check at least once a month for (actually this is what I did) my Out of Pocket and keeping receipts in an envelope with the month and check number on it. I would put the paper products under lock and key. Go with her to the bathroom. I did leave to give Mom privacy but went back in to clean her up and help her get her pants pulled up. When she was still with it, she counted the squares till 8. She did go thru tissues. Her nose ran constantly and the Dr put her on an alkergy med. It helped a lot.

You need to get Mom evaluated and find out what type of Dementia she has. This is important because some Dementia's can only take certain meds. From what you have said, ur Mom is pretty much into Dementia and should not be alone. She either has an aide or she is placed with her paying. Assisted living is usually private pay. Medicaid rarely pays for AL or Memory care. Check with them. Most States they only cover Long-term care.
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Thank you for these ideas. I do keep the toilet paper in a pantry and she has free range. She does dab her nose constantly and has many signs of dementia. She remembers what she did in 1950 but not yesterday. Her mother had Alzheimer's and I do not think this is the case with her. She does not pay for anything. She gives me a little money each month that does not even cover the costs of her landline, boost drinks by the case, soaps, and everything. I have to bathe her and set her hair in rollers. Cook for her. She has her own bathroom and I clean it daily. My siblings don't help and told me that they can't take her so there is no choice. I work full time and am burning out quickly.
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MeDolly Aug 2023
Why doesn't she pay her way, what does she do with her SS money?

Don't you think that this is all a bit much?

There are choices you just need to explore them.
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