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Just found out 90 yo MIL has pancreatic cancer. Hospital found it last time she was there and only disclosed it now 7 months later after she was brought back to the hospital again. Last time was a UTI and on one of the scans they saw cancer in her pancreas but no one ever said a word about it. She went back in again for trouble with her breathing and the cancer was disclosed. Why wouldn’t Doctors tell the family when something like that is seen in the scans? I am just beside myself thinking about this and what it will mean to her plan of care. Ninety years old and not in any condition to go through any chemo or radiation therapy so I’m just like I said beside myself with worry! Has anyone else had to deal with anything like this?

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I'm so sorry that your MIL and family are dealing with this. Cancer is hard enough. Pancreatic is not good news. My FIL passed from it at age 72 after very aggressive surgeries and treatments. He lived for 2 yrs after diagnosis and his quality of life was mostly horrible nausea and "chemo brain" because the treatment was so brutal physically. If I were in MIL shoes I would forego treatment. The odds that she will beat it are incredibly slender, and like I said, the treatment will be just too much for her at 90. The only "good" thing about it is that it will probably go fast. I don't know what to say about the doctors not telling her. I don't think it would have made any difference in her prognosis. I'm so sorry that I can't sugar-coat this but at 90...no. May she and you and the entire family gain peace in your hearts as you make decisions and help her prepare for this journey.

P.S. If anyone posts any cockamamie cancer remedies here, ignore them.
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Hi Pegshere
Very sorry to hear about your MIL diagnosis.
My MIL in her mid 80s was diabetic without control and had dementia. A very long story but she was diagnosed with lymphoma and didn’t receive treatment as the family did not know she had the cancer and her doctor had committed suicide. It’s my understanding that lymphoma is treatable with a good prognosis if treated early on. Later when the cancer had spread to her pancreas and she became jaundiced she had to have a surgery to allow the bile to drain. Then she contacted MRSA. A month later she died. She was not in pain. It was an unfortunate mishandled situation but looking back on it perhaps it all worked out for the best when her diabetes and dementia were considered.
I know it is a shock to find this out and I would also be upset that you weren’t told earlier. I’m sorry.
In the book “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande, you will find Dr Gawandes five questions that he recommends one discuss near the end of life. You might find this book helpful at this time.
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I'm sorry your MIL has been diagnosised with Pancreatic cancer. My uncle choose palliative care following his diagnosis, including a minor surgery to cut some nerves to prevent pain. His last days were comfortable, including a last Thanksgiving meal with the extended family and lots of visits from friends and family. He went into a coma and died at home the next day. Hospice was wonderful!
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If you'd found out seven months ago would you have been any less anxious about it?

You have two different subjects here.

The important one: coming to terms with the diagnosis. It sounds like extremely bad news. What support are MIL and the family being given? There is a lot to think about and understand, so I hope the hospital's team is taking the time to answer your questions.

The second, which can wait, is why you were not alerted to the cancer when it was originally suspected. My guess is that what they saw seven months ago was one of several shadows or blips or patches that might or might not have been anything significant. Now they know that this particular ??? - probably one query on a longish list in the radiologists' report - was significant, but they couldn't have known then and that's why they didn't discuss it specifically.

The hospital has some explaining to do; but the sad truth is that this isn't going to make any difference to anything you care about.

How is MIL herself? I hope she's being kept comfortable.
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