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Unlike many caregivers on this site, I only had three months of 24/7 for end of life stage with my mother. I did have to stop working, moved her in with me, (after moving to her city in November 2013), and there is financial strain since I work for commission. She passed away on June 18, 2014. After getting my place almost back to order, I had to jump back into work this week to get things going again, and starting a new life in a new geographic area.. The problem is that I am exhausted, and putting off "jumping in" until next week. I am 59, but have always been physically active. Prior to this, I could at least run a mile without stopping...now I have to sit down after taking a mile walk. I would expect this with those of you who have had years of care-giving. Is this typical even after such a short time? Thanks for your thoughts, and I admire and respect all of you on this website.

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Well look at it logically. You've changed geographic locations, lived with your very ill mom for three months, experienced her death, changed jobs and are having financial pressures. I'd wonder about you if you WEREN'T tired!

I think it's totally normal and you need to give yourself some time to adjust to the drastic changes in your life in the past year. What you've gone through are some of the most stressful experiences any of us can have, and you had them all at once. I'd also get a good physical check-up as a precaution, but I imagine you're just "decompressing". Are you able to talk with good friends and do you have a good emotional support system in place? If not, that's another reason you're tired.
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Thanks so much for your quick response. I do have long distance friends who where always there for me to talk with. They also have their stories about care-giving. My brother was also available to help at the time, but like many caregivers' experience, did not really understand what I was experiencing. Last week he asked me if i was making money yet, and went silent when I tried to explain I have to build my business back up. He would come over and sit with mom, but never had to change her briefs, assure of her comfort, etc.... That was already done when he got there. I just miss having a friend to take a spontaneous walk or sip of wine with.....and thank you, I have an appointment with a dentist and doctor coming up. Once again appreciate your feedback.
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I think it's totally normal. But don't push yourself to move on too quickly; do it gradually, one step at a time. And arrange for plenty of down time (read "me time") for your body and your emotions to catch up with life.

In my experience it's not at all unusual to experience not only some kind of slowdown but some mental paralysis as well. It can be hard to move forward, hard to think clearly, hard not to reminisce.

Don't be surprised if you have flashback moments when it seems as though your mother is still with you...whether it's a perceived moment of conversation, that glass of wine, a mannerism, something like that.

You may also find that anyone who hasn't been a caregiver doesn't really understand what you've gone through.
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Dstclaire, it is normal, it is the continuance of grief work. My daughter died June 8th, and I still wake up in a fog, thinking I have to check on her or ask her a question. I get my coffee and I try to reorganize my thoughts. It takes time, and it takes a constant re direction of thoughts to the present.
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Dstclaire, even if you hadn't been her caregiver, your mother's death would probably have been a big emotional blow. The facts that you were her caregiver and that you had just changed locations and have not yet had a chance to build a new local support network are bound to have intensified that blow greatly.

I'd say give yourself a lot more time, but I can understand the urgency of getting back to making a living. Do whatever you have to do in that realm and be as gentle with your expectations for yourself in other areas.

My sincere condolences on this great loss.
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my mother has been gone for a year . im back in my home now but realistically it will take years to get things moving forward again . enough shocks to the system to light a small city for a week .
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