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I want to move Mom out of Assisted Living and take care of her myself. My lawyer said that it would be better to put Mom on Medicaid and get paid as her caregiver than to use her Aid and Attendance. She is already receiving A&A. NY State Medicaid pays terrible caregiver wages. And Medicaid is the last resort. She is not ready to go on Medicaid. I have researched this to death on the internet, the VA site and other care giving organizations for the last 4 months. If I do a caregiver agreement, will Medicaid disqualify her if she needs Medicaid later down the road? He keeps pushing for Medicaid when I told him I want to do a caregiver agreement. He said that Medicaid can come back and have me repay them for monies my mother pays me. I thought there was just a penalty period with Medicaid where she would be ineligible. Sorry if I'm being repetitive. How did all of this get so complicated anyway?

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Get a different lawyer, one who specializes in care agreements ans especially knows the in s and outs of A&A and Medicaid.
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Depending on how much A&A monies your Mom is receiving, it seems like it would be more beneficial to you if she were to draw up a caregiver agreement and to use that money to pay you for her care, that is if you have thought this through clearly, and do wish to care for her in your home, as even if she did qualify for Medicaid, and you were paid by them (some states do have programs that pay family members, like PACE), the pay would be low, say minimum wage, and would only pay you so many hours per week, maybe 20-30 hours.

I guess you would need to work the numbers to see how that works out. Also, if she is getting the max A&A, about $1,774, I doubt she would qualify for Medicaid, although I understand that there are ways to put a persons monies into a trust, in order to qualify them for Medicaid, so it sounds as if you need a new, specifically an Elder Law Attorney, who has knowledge in all of these areas.

I do know that for family members who are paid by Medicaid in Washington state where I live, the PACE program, PACE requires the caregiver to go through several weeks of training courses, to be qualified, and in order to be paid. Sometimes this creates a problem, as who is there to care for the patient, while you are away getting trained? Still, it is definitely something to look into. All states have different programs. Have you contacted your Counties Agency on Aging? They would be an excellent resource for assistance and advice!

I wonder for your benefit (and if she does qualify for Medicaid), that a Program paid caregiver could attend her, for you to have the added home help, and still a Caregivers Contract could be done, to pay you for the other hours that you care for her, if that could be worked out? There are So Many questions to be answered by the Right kind of attorney, but for some reason I don't think the Attorney you spoke with knows the best way to help you and you're Mom in this situation.

Also, are you absolutely certain that bringing your Mom home to care for her IS the best solution? It's clear that you Love her, but CAREGIVER BURNOUT IS REAL!!! It happens to the Best of us, and can render you severely depressed, and can impact you life in such a Negative Way!

I know how hard it can be to have a parent live with you and the physical toll it takes on you, your marriage, your privacy and your livelihood, as my husband and I cared for his Dad in our home for 13 years, and finally we did put him into Assisted Living because we felt we could no longer cope, unfortunately after only 11 weeks of him being there, he was diagnosed with end stage Lung Cancer, and we brought him back home on Hospice his last 9 weeks, til he passed away this past September.

I know there is a lot to think about and that everyone's situation is different, but do take your time, do your research (this site is an amazing resource for All things!), and really think this decision through. Not only how it impacts your Mom, but you, your family and your finances to! Do make sure you have a Respite plan worked out, so that you have time to rest and recharge your batteries! Care giving for a parent long term and in your home is a massive undertaking! Good luck, and I'm sure more folks will join in to advise you on the subject?

Welcome to the AC caregivers site!!! Sincerely, Stacey B
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Thank you Staceyb for the very detailed response. I had my mom for 13 years and so I know the caregiving very well. She suffered a very bad stroke in 2003 and we took her in. I tell people that I "raised" her back to where she is today. Anyway, my first husband died and so I had to sell the house and place her in AL. Since then, I remarried a wonderful man who also has a caregiving heart and now I would like to pick up where I left off. In 2003 I had no idea of the VA Aid and Attendance. I wish I had known. At any rate, if it's possible for me to take her back, I'm going to do that. I can work from home also since I do accounting and can set up my own bookkeeping business. I have my first client already! I will get a second opinion from a different attorney.
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Talk to a different lawyer. This seems unbelievable but, someone on this site was in New York and was getting paid very well by the state to care for her grandmother. She may have been full of it though too.
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