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My mother has always been mean and toxic. My dad recently passed, and my sister was POA but my mom still gave me bills to pay and things to get her. I wish I was dead instead of helping her because now in less than 3 months her anger spews again. She is accusing me of emergency order of protection and spending all her money and she got a court date. I can't eat or sleep and I am so angry and I honestly never want to see her again. She is a miserable soul and now I am miserable. I should have never talked to her again like one of my siblings. Is there a type of attorney that can help me?

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Dear dd3508,

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom's behaviour and how it is affecting you. Definitely talk to an elder law attorney. You have to protect yourself. If this is something you do not want to take on, then its best to be upfront. No point in doing things for her because it will only lead to more anger and resentment.
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You can have the POA revolked. To be honest, I don't think anyone should be assigned as POA unless they are aware and sign off they agree. This is now a good reason to break off contact with Mom. Contact the lawyer who put u on the POA and ask to be removed. Wait for paperwork from a lawyer before doing anything concerning Moms allegations. Your Mom may just be spouting off. Did u handle her bank account? Can u explain every check and withdrawl. I kept receipts for cash I withdrew. Tell ur sister what is going on and u no longer can help Mom with finances because of her allegations. Then back off. No one has to take abuse from anyone.
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Sorry, I reread and see u were served. Call a lawyer referral service. They should be able to help.
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Step away. Being POA can be a PITA. Just b/c someone appoints you, you can rescind it. Go head and let mother know (after the fact) exactly WHY you stepped down. She'll get mad, for sure, but it's not worth your mental health over it.

Good luck.
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Can you be forced to accept POA without being asked and consenting? If someone just names you, why would that oblige you to anything?
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dd, you don't have to be around her again. If you are, be sure to have a friend with you. For now you may want to consult an attorney if the charges are serious. Just be truthful with the attorney and show your records on expenditures. If you have evidence of similar things she has done in the past, be sure to provide some proof of it. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

I think it is a good rule of thumb for caregivers that if a situation can cause legal problems, then back away. We don't owe that type of legal problem to anyone.
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