Follow
Share

My dad has dementia and his health has greatly declined. He is 92-years-old and his girlfriend/caretaker will not allow me to visit or call him. In his first stage of dementia she coerced him into signing a POA. She moved him from our family home to her house. She thinks she has full control, has blocked my phone calls and will not allow me to visit my dad. What rights do I have so I can see my dad before he dies?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Call the police, lawyer and APS. She’s committing financial elder abuse and keeping family away from him.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
Seasand Jul 2023
Thank you so much!
In response, with the resources you recommended, who would you contact first?

Lawyer - ( Legal advise)
APS - what specifically would I report?
a. Her not giving me access to my dad by phone or visit?
b. Financial abuse?
c. Your suggestions?
Police - would I contact and request their presence when I arrive at her house to visit?

Your recommendations are earnestly appreciated.

Seasand
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
Confer with an Elder Law Attorney immediately. You can also report her to APS if you suspect " control" issues or any other question you have about his care especially since you are being denied access. You are a biological relative. Seek legal help now.... Your father having dementia is very vulnerable to abuse and, " girlfriend's behavior coercing him to sign POA, moving him and denying you/ family access is highly suspicious.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Hire an attorney.

In Florida this is very common, women take advantage of old men, get them to sell everything, then convinces them to either make them the beneficiary or make a new will. He dies and they get everything.

Don't dilly dally get legal representation now, find out what really is going on.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

The police will tell you it’s a civil matter and won’t do anything.

2 CNAS reported that my mom was being abused by her live in caregiver & they did nothing. They just told my sibling who had POA the caretaker couldn’t be there when the CNAS were.

A lawyer is your only resort. I went through this whole scenario& it’s heartbreaking.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Grandma1954 August 1, 2023 3:20 pm
I agree with everyone saying you need to get an attorney.
I would be curious to find out if he made the girlfriend/caretaker POA before or after his diagnosis with dementia? If it was after it is possible that the POA is not legal.
This might also be worth a call to the Elder Abuse Hotline in your state
There could be Financial abuse as well as physical or emotional abuse.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Seasand: Retain an elder law attorney posthaste.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Agree with Ventingisback below. Isolating your father from his family is abuse. Make those calls. Make his girlfriend/caretaker prove isolating him is for his benefit.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Seasand Jul 2023
Thank you so much!

Seasand
(2)
Report
Not Much you can do unless you hire a Lawyer and hopefully they Live in the same state as you . My sister did the same thing - Came to Our home and took off with My Dad claiming " They were going to Hawaii on Vacation " and " he Lives with her every winter . " You could seek Guardianship or a emergency Order to have him removed from her home . Costs a Lot of Money and time . APS really doesnt do Much if he Is being cared for . And if they ask him " Is he Happy ? " and he says " Yes " well there you go . I have been dealing with this for 10 Months . He hardly Knows my sister in California , my Parents divorced when she was 2 and he never saw her . We Live in Boston . She told me " to come and get him " and I went to California and was served with a restraining order . She Had me removed as POA and Made herself POA and Has her Name on everything and keeps forwarding Our Mail to her house . This Has caused me Much stress and at this Point I Have to Live My Life because dealing with Idiots is draining .
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
LightJoy Aug 2023
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It is so very hard, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm going through something similar with my siblings in regards to care for my mother. I keep trying to let it go, not dwell on the happenings, yell STOP in my head when I begin to think of the situation and most of all don't want to harbor ill feelings toward anyone. We are in this situation to learn and grow. God is my strength, along with yoga, Qigong, gardening and to concentrate on my well being. Best wishes.
Lenore
(1)
Report
Get a lawyer immediately! This happened to me with a sibling & I couldn’t see my mom for 4 years until she went in a nursing home & Alliance for better long term care helped me get in.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Report all of the above to APS and the police. Rhen cintact an elder law specific attorney who knows and understands yours and your Dadsrights. Everything you have documented and filed is in your Dad's best interest. His caretajer/girlfriend secluding your Dad is NOT in his best interest. If he is not mentaly competent or aware of what is going on, an investigation needs to happen, ASAP.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Jada824 Aug 2023
APS & the police won’t do anything to help ……I tried both
(1)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter